


Pain

by Adrija



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:36:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 67,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28514319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrija/pseuds/Adrija
Summary: Palpatine rules the Empire. Obi-Wan works with the resistance, when he is confrontetd by his former Padawan, who is now the Emperor´s enforcer. After the violent confrontation the Jedi wakes up in a tiny prison cell. At first everything goes as expected. But after Obi-Wan almost dies at the hands of Vader, the Sith Lord starts acting strangely.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Vader
Comments: 67
Kudos: 356





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone :)
> 
> I don't usually write in English. However, I am currently forced to use it frequently and could use an expanded vocabulary quite well. That's why I wrote this in English. I need to improve my English.  
> I know my grammar is a nightmare. I would appreciate any pointers to errors, should anyone decide to take a look at this.  
> Furthermore: I've only seen a few episodes from Clone Wars. Sorry in advance for things I might have mixed up. And: Happy about pointers here as well. Are there episodes that I definitely need to see for a story like this? I know about the Rako Hardeen plot :)

Pain. He didn’t even remember a time without it. His consciousness slipped in and out in periods of time he couldn’t even begin to grasp. Not that he was able to understand, what was going on around him, in those rare occasions, when he succeeded to open his eyes. At some point, after hours, days, weeks or months, his brain finally forced its way through all of the haze. Halfway beginning to shut down again, just to not have to deal with the excruciating pain, that seemed to have set his whole thorax and arms on fire. He gasped, as sharp pain went down his shoulders and his back, when he tried to move his arms. He had no idea, where they were, just that they weren’t at his side and he wanted to pull them in. Have them somewhere at his stomach, clutching his sides, protecting his upper body from whatever was going on. He gave up immediately. It didn’t work anyway. They didn’t move an inch.

Focusing as much as he could on his breathing, he tried to supply his brain with enough oxygen, so he wouldn’t lose consciousness again. Also, it was quite less painful not to move his thorax too much by breathing in too deeply. When the pain settled to something near bearable, he opened his eyes.

There was nothing. Just endless darkness. The first moment he thought, he actually didn’t open his eyes, trying again and again, blinking until his mind caught up with the situation and supplemented him with the information, that he was either blind or there simply was no light. Both options didn’t sit well with him. More out of a reflex he tried again to pull his arms in. With the result, that he was trying not to faint for the next few minutes until the pain dissipated and made it possible to control his breathing again. Forcing himself to calm down. 

At least this time, he had grasped some kind of perception about his position. His arms were tied above his head, as he was probably hanging from the ceiling. When he tried to stand up, he could touch the ground just barely with his toes, taking little of his bodyweight away from his maltreated arms and shoulders. But everything was helpful at this point. He tried to raise his head. Blinding pain shot up his neck, almost knocking him out instantly. So, that had been a bad idea. It took some time until the pain subsided again to the tolerable level. By then his Jedi senses seemed to have recovered a little and supplied him with at least some information about the room. It was small. He would probably be able reach the wall with his feet if he stretched a little. There was nothing else in here. He sensed a door only one and a half meters in front of him. But nothing beyond.

Concentrating on himself, he tried to become a feeling for his body. There was no chance of using the Force to help him in any way. Still, he didn’t need that to understand that at least his left wrist was broken. He felt the bones rubbing at each other in a completely wrong way, sending down waves of pain in protest whenever there was a movement. Neither of his hands he was able to feel. Maybe there were none left. He steered his attention away and further down his body. His shoulders were a hot mess. One of them was clearly dislocated. But everything in that region felt like on fire and without a better grip on the Force or at least his eyes, he could not estimate the damage. But that was the worst. His stomach and legs seemed fine, more or less.

Next, he focused on his surroundings. He had to get out of wherever it was that he was held captive at. When he reached for the force, it slipped away. He felt the whirls of it around him. Inside him. But no matter how much he tried to concentrate on it, it just didn’t react beyond that bare minimum that was already with him. There was no chance, to call it to his side and use it. Not the way he needed it. Not at this point. His mind was too fuzzy, his body too broken. Too much pain was diverting his attention. Soon he felt how that little strength he had was used up. Losing his footing, his whole bodyweight was hanging once again at his arms. A painful cry escaped his throat and once again he breathed heavily, adding to the pain. He got sick. Only a moment later he threw up, which left an acidic taste in his mouth.

How did he even get here? Wherever was here? What had happened? At first only some blurry images came to mind. Cries and screams. The searing sound of lightsabers cutting through air. Big blue eyes looking at him hesitantly, as he screamed at the Togruta to run. Two inquisitors cut down at her feet. Two were lying at his own. Their lightsabers scattered across the ground. One in pieces, the others just out of reach.

_< “We can take him together, Master!“ She screamed back at him, calling one of the discarded weapons into her left hand. _

_“It’s too risky!“, he remembered himself replying. “They need to know; their base is in danger! The stakes are too high! Go!!“ His voice now commanding._

_Lips pressed together, the young woman stared at him, still unsure about what she should do, pain building up in those big eyes as she was realizing how true his words were. „I will wait for you at checkpoint 2. And I am warning you. You better show up.“ With those words, she turned around and ran._

_Endlessly relieved he turned around himself, feeling his friend increasing distance between them. All that was important, was to get her as much time as possible to find a hiding place. Later on, she would find a way to contact the resistance and get off this planet. He didn’t doubt her for a second. He had seen her grow up into that powerful Jedi she was. He knew exactly what she was capable of. Nothing would stop her._

_With a confident smile he activated his lightsaber as the tall, dark clad figure descended the ramp of the imperial shuttle, that just had landed a few feet away from him. They both had felt his presence on this ship. Just a few minutes. That was all she would need. >_

Maybe that was, why he wasn’t dead yet. They wanted him to tell them where to find her. In that case not too much time could have passed since his capture. It just felt like an eternity.

Without any warning, the door slid open. Blinding light illuminated the room. Pressing his eyes close he tried to avert his face from the sudden attack on his senses. At least that meant he wasn’t blind.

Heavy steps sounded throughout the room, accompanied by rasping breathing. A chill ran down his spine, as he was perfectly aware of who it was, that joined him in his prison. He could feel it. Even in this state, even when he was not trying, he could feel the Force signature of his former Padawan. But it was twisted, depraved and radiating so much rage and hatred and pain, that probably no one besides him would recognize it. He wondered if Ahsoka had realized who this was. Did she know who the emperor’s right hand was? Or did she just know how Vader’s presence felt like without tying him to her own former master? She probably would have said something before, if she knew. Or she had avoided this topic like he had.

The spots in his vision started to retreat slowly as his eyes adapted to the light. He saw his own lower body. Like always he was clad in light plain linen. They had been overused and torn before he had been captured. Now there was a gash across his chest. The flesh below it was scorched and he remembered how he had evaded an otherwise fatal blow by a hair’s breadth. Probably that would have been the more merciful fate.

In front of him, he saw black, heavy boots on a dark metallic surface that was already covered in his vomit. An equally dark cloak masked both outer sides. His vision blurred, and he blinked to clear it up again.

“Actually awake.“, the so familiar and at the same time so wrong sounding voice said. He wondered how much of the voice really was his former Padawans and how much his own knowledge and imagination added to it. “It seems you are more resilient than I expected, Master.“ The mocking tone when using his old title let his heart contort in a way only Anakin ever had managed.

“You keep underestimating me, Vader.“ He replied, trying to sound unfazed. And failing miserably. His voice sounded weak and rough, barely loud enough to hear. He would have looked up and at that grotesque mask Anakin was hiding nowadays behind, but he already knew what would happen, if he even dared to try. Silence spread out between them and he felt how the Sith Lord reached out through the Force, poking and prodding at him, assessing in how bad of a condition he really was in. Only seconds later he felt an attack on his mind and shut off immediately. Vader tried violently to break through his protection. He even tried to force open the long-withered force-bond they had shared what felt ages ago. A bond they had used regularly to meditate together. A bond that had felt so sacred between them, whenever they had opened up to each other. A bond that had always been a link. 

Now he felt the assault on that bond. The pressure built up until it felt like his head was going to spilt. It was mockery and insult. Humiliation and spite. Ridicule and scorn. All that raw hatred and anger channeling at that long-closed door was worse than any torture he could submit him to. It was worse, because it was him. No one else would ever be able to invoke this much mental pain on him.

Protecting his mind, was the most important thing in his situation. He wouldn’t get anything out of him in an unconscious state or if he killed him. But he knew too much, to just let Vader peak inside. There was so much Vader could never be allowed to know.

A scream escaped his mouth as the pressure intensified. Millions of needles piercing his head, drowning him in a pool of never-ending dread and despair. Grinding his teeth, he pressed his eyes close again, summoning images to throw them at his tormentor. Images he knew were haunting Vader, as they were haunting himself in a way, that would never let his soul rest. The image of a beautiful pregnant woman, with tears in her eyes and a silky but endlessly pained voice begging her husband to stop, before falling unconscious to the ground.

Instantly the grip on his mind loosened and then broke completely. A small victorious grin formed on his lips although his eyes were full of tears, before Vader reached out, grabbed the hair in his neck and yanked his head violently back, causing unspeakable pain to run through his shoulders and down his spine, spreading in his entire body. His vision blurred for a moment, he heard himself scream out in agony. Then he recognized the black, ugly mask, that was just mere inches away from his face. The noise of the respirator now roaring in his ears with every breath Vader took. “I will break you, Obi-Wan.“, he promised. Every word leaking of hatred and malice.

He let go of him again and the Jedi fell back into his hanging position, another wave of pain washing over his body, numbing his senses and when everything was dark again, he didn’t know, if the lights were just out again or if he had lost his consciousness.

It went on like that. Ob-Wan hat no idea how much time passed. When Vader wasn’t torturing him, the small prison room was dark. He had no chance of tracking the time. And it didn’t t really help that he was slipping in and out of consciousness either. But he succeeded in keeping his mind closed off. Vader stopped very soon invading it, as there had been always the same outcome. Apparently, he didn’t want to see his wife dying over and over again. Instead, he started to torture him in a more classic way, he took a close and personal approach. After some time, there was few skin on him left, that was not cut up or scorched. Except for his face. Vader never tore that part of him up like the rest of his body. Only hit and bruised him. But nothing that would leave permanent marks. 

Obi-Wan didn’t t know how he was still alive. He should have died. He hoped to die every time this abomination entered his prison. It was astounding how the Sith was controlled enough to not just rip him to shreds. It didn’t make any sense. He would never get anything out of him. By now he probably just tortured him for fun. Enjoying to see him writhe in pain before him. They weren’t talking to each other. Obi-Wan didn’t have any strength for that anyway.

There was almost always a droid with him. One of the usual 1-2B medical units. It administered injections of what the Jedi could only think would be drugs to loosen his tongue and make his brain open to suggestions. Quite often it spoke up to warn its master how dangerous it was to overdose his prisoner this much with the chemicals as well as warning him when he was dangerously close to kill him. Many of those droids were shredded into a pile of scrap in anger by Vader when he didn’t like the outcome. He never liked the outcome.

Obi-Wans mind started to slip more and more. It began when the room was dark. There were noises, voices whispering. Mocking him, screaming bloody murder at him. The sound of Vaders respirator filled his ears in an intensity that was deafening, even when he wasn’t there. Children were crying, pained screams echoed through his head. And then Padmé stood right in front of him. He saw her like he saw Vader when he tortured him. But it was dark. There was no way he would be able to see her, even if she hadn’t been dead for years now. With those beautiful, compassionate brown eyes she looked at him. She seemed sad. One of her delicate hands reached up and stroke his cheek ever so lightly that he almost didn’t feel it.

“You could have stopped it.”, she said softly. A bitter smile lay on her lips. “You failed us.” Then she reached for her throat, her beautiful face contorted into one of pain and fear, as she gasped for air and fell to the ground where she remained still.

Obi-Wan screamed, pulling at his arms trying to wrench free, his eyes focused on the dead young women at his feet. Excruciating pain surged through his body and almost knocked him out. When it subsided somewhat his nose filled with the smell of burning flesh.

“I HATE YOU!!!”, roared a voice through the small prison cell and left the Jedi whimpering and crying, while hanging from the ceiling.

Padmés body never left the prison again. When he came to again, it lay on the side. Dead and decomposing, with unfocused eyes staring directly at him. Obi-Wan knew he was just hallucinating this. He knew her body was buried. It couldn’t be here. It was just his own imagination. Still, he was barely able to not look at that pale, lifeless face of one of the purest people he ever had known.

In the end Obi-Wan even stopped screaming when Vader held that red lightsaber against his skin. Every time he smelled his own burned flesh it threw him back on Mustafar where he had watched the most important person in his life burn alive. The voice of his former Padawan filled his ears with hateful and pained screams. Accusing him to be the reason for his Fall. Telling him, what he already knew anyway.

His whole body was just an enormous wound. Blood was smeared everywhere, the floor below him was drenched in it. His clothes were completely torn, hanging loosely from his thinning body, some of the fabric stuck in his wounds, causing inflammation, that eventually caused a severe fever. And when Obi-Wan slipped into unconsciousness this time, he smiled, for he was sure to be able to become one with the Force at last.

When he opened his eyes again, there was dimmed light. He saw dark stone and metal, and switched off lamps, and reddish light from one side. Something or someone moved around him. His mind couldn’t process the weird sensation as something made his body move lightly. But there was no pain. He didn’t even try to move. And then his vision became blurry again. His last thought was the regretting realization that he was not dead.

Next time he woke up, everything hurt again. It took some time for his eyes to adjust enough so he could see clearly. There was again the dark stone and metal his eyes were directed at. Which was weird. He didn’t see anything else than metal since Vader took him captive. Maybe there actually was some stone in his prison room, that he just didn’t see until now, as he had not been able to look up. But why was he now able to look up?

His mind took its time to start processing the sensory information his eyes and his sense of balance provided him with. He wasn’t hung up by his wrists anymore. He lay on something that wasn’t hard enough to be metal. Confused he tried to look around. It was the most exhausting thing he ever attempted. But after a certain point gravity helped him and his head rolled uncontrolled to the side. The view took his breath away. A huge window dominated the wall. It spread from the high ceiling to the floor and was as wide as the whole wall. An energy field flickered outside of it. Beyond that there was as huge sea of lava. In the distance Obi-Wan could see scorched land. It reminded him instantly of Mustafar. And the emotional turmoil he usually kept under control clawed itself back out of the inner pits of his mind where he had buried it and demanded attention. Right now.

His breathing accelerated. His eyes widened as he stared at the landscape. The pain intensified and he tried to roll his head back up. But nothing happened. He felt the muscles in his neck spasm. Panic gripping him, but he couldn’t move. His body didn’t obey him any more now than it had done since his imprisonment.

A movement at the edge of his eye caught part of his attention. Someone moved in front of him and blocked the view. It provided Obi-Wan with the stimulus he needed to get a grip of himself. A gloved hand reached down to him, and his instant reaction would have been to flinch away from it, if his body would obey him. But since it didn’t, Vader pushed his face and rolled his head back in his starting position. Back to the view of the stone ceiling with the little turned off lamps imbedded in it. He couldn’t see where the dimmed light was coming from. And he wished he never found out the source of the reddish one.

The Jedi waited for the pain. Waited for Vader to close his hands around his throat and choke him, like he had done so many times. To grip his hair and yank his head violently back until his cervical spine was about to break. To slam his hand across his face so hard, that it felt like he broke his cheek bone.

Nothing like that happened. Vader just turned to something that was out of his sight above his head, something beeped, then he retreated, closing a curtain and thus took away the possibility for him to look again at the sea of lava just outside the window.

The adrenalin in his body kept him awake for more than a few moments. After a few minutes he wasn’t even sure if Vader was still in the same room. He could neither hear nor see him. And strangely enough he couldn’t feel him. With time his breathing calmed down again. There was nothing he could do but wait.

He had no idea how long he had been out when he opened his eyes the next time. The curtain was still blocking his view. The pain still spread out in his whole body. He was surprised when he was capable to move his fingers. He hadn’t felt them for so long, that it struck him as weird, he actually still possessed some. Cautiously he lifted his hand slightly. It didn’t cause him any extra pain. Next, he tried the whole arm. His shoulder instantly flared up in protest. Still. It was bearable. In comparison at least.

Carefully he pushed himself up on his elbow. He got dizzy and stopped, giving his body a moment to adapt. To his surprise it actually did. His vision cleared up again and he had for the first time the possibility to look around in this new room Vader had decided to keep him for now.

As his eyes scanned the surroundings he understood, that he in fact lay on a bed. A huge one. There was easily enough space on that thing for three people. The bedframe consisted of a dark metal that was worked into delicate patterns the Jedi couldn’t even begin to describe. Something no ordinary being would ever be able to afford. His fingers stroke over the black sheets. It felt smooth and cool to the touch. And looked almost shiny. The light cover that was spread across his body seemed to be made of the same material. But it was colored in a dark red. Obviously some kind of silk.

He turned his attention away from that. He wasn’t going anywhere anyway. Best to know, where he was imprisoned for now. The room fit the bed. It was spacious to say the least. The walls consisted of black stone and metall. On the walls there were lamps, that shone up against the ceiling and provided the dimmed light. On the opposite wall of the large window, was a metal door with a controlling panel on the side. A small red light was lit up on it. Obi-Wan was sure that it was locked. He would try it, should he ever succeed to stand up again.

His eyes came across another door, to the left of the bed. There was a green small light on the controlling panel. He would try that door as well. Later. Maybe.

On the opposite wall of the bed stood a wardrobe. It matched the bed in design. A flag of the imperium hung to its left and directly opposite of the bed. Another wall filling design spreading from ceiling to floor. A desk with a chair stood on its other side. Again, made of the same material and matching the design like all the other furniture. The chair was padded with dark red cushions.

As his eyes turned to the drawn curtains he realized, that those were in fact not belonging to the window, as he had assumed. They were attached to tracks on the ceiling, just half a meter around the bed. The thick black fabric didn’t let any light get through. By the looks it was probably made out of velvet.

Obi-Wan turned his attention back to himself. He was still covered up, but he already saw bandages wrapping around his shoulders and disappearing under the blanket. Carefully he moved his other hand and pushed the soft material away. Almost every spot of his skin was covered by bandages. He could see Bacta-patches, too. Probably applied to the more serious wounds. The only thing he was wearing, was a pair of black boxers made out of silk by the look of it. The Jedi hardly recognized the body that was attached to his head. It was a worn out, thin and fragile thing. His trained muscles nowhere to be seen. Bones sticking out everywhere. He looked like a skeleton mummy. His body was completely broken. Useless. How long did Vader torture him? How much time had passed since he had been captured?

Obi-Wan tried to understand what was going on. Was Vader patching him up so he could tear him apart again? Did he have so much fun with it that he denied him death and going through so much trouble to keep him alive? He probably had just begun to take his anger out on him.

His legs didn’t obey him when he tried to move them. He saw some movement, but not enough to actually get out of bed. Anyway, he wasn’t sure his legs would be able to support whatever was left of his bodyweight.

A prickling sensation in the crook of his right arm distracted him. He turned his head towards it and saw a needle protruding from his skin and wrapped with bandages, fixating it in place. An iv line was attached to it and filled with a blueish liquid. Panicking Obi-Wan ripped that thing out of his flesh without thinking and fell back down into bed as he lost the support of his elbow that way. Everything spun and twirled in front of his eyes while a warm sensation spread across his right arm. It took some time until he was able again to see the difference between the ceiling and the bed he was lying on.

He rolled onto his right side and looked up. The curtain was still drawn, but in the upper corner between the fabric and the bedpost stood something, that he recognized as an infusion machine. The iv line was securely hooked in it, figures on the display showing how much of the liquid was supposed to be pushed inside of his veins per hour and a transparent bag with the blueish liquid hang above it. He couldn’t decipher the small characters printed on it.

And then that thing started beeping. Horror struck him as this would probably lure Vader or more likely some of his minions here. He cursed under his breath and broke down in pain when he tried to reach out with his left arm to grab the damn machine and stop it from alerting someone. His shoulder was not ready to let him use the joint the way it should work and was determined to show that to him. His vision became blurry again. He was half blind with pain, when he heard the door slide open. The dark looming presence of his former Padawan invaded his senses.

Bevor he could regain control over his body, he was grabbed by his upper arm and turned onto his back. The annoying beeping stopped. And Obi-Wan was pressed by two hands into the mattress, which he fought as best he could even though he wasn’t able to see clearly.

“Stop that.“ Vader commanded. His hands moved from his shoulders to his forearms, that were now pressed down, rendering him completely defenseless. The Jedi didn’t know what was happening, he tried to free his arms, tried to do something, anything to get away. But nothing helped. The hands stayed. The rasping sound of Vader’s breathing filled the room and dread set into Obi-Wans bones. What would he do to him now? Why was he here? What was this all about?

His vision cleared a moment after he stopped fighting. Shaking from exertion and fear he looked up into that dreadful mask that had become the symbol of terror for the whole galaxy. Vader let go of his left arm and placed it upon his chest, directly above his racing heart. Obi-Wans eyes widened. He froze, waiting for whatever Vader was about to do to him.

“Calm down. I am not here to cause you pain.“, he explained with that wrong sounding voice. And indeed, nothing happened. With gentle force he held him in place. The ugly mask turned directly at him. Obi-Wans skin crawled under that gaze.

“Let go of me!“ He spat back at Vader at last, his voice breaking. It sounded weak. No reaction followed. That huge pile of black armor didn’t move an inch, holding him down and ignoring any attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. It took some time but the Jedi did calm down. Not completely, because that would be impossible in his situation, but enough that he couldn’t hear his own blood rushing in his ears and droning anything else out entirely. It seemed to be enough, as Vader let go of him. But he didn’t t move away and kept sitting on the bed right beside him.

Obi-Wan didn’t dare to do anything. Not in this weak state. But he reached for the force nonetheless. More out of a reflex. Just to have it at his fingertips. To protect himself from the first blow at least. The result was ridiculous. His state of mind and body weren’t helping in any way. And he was barely able to muster up enough control over the force to sharpen his perception. There was no chance he would be able to protect himself from anything against such a powerful opponent.

The only thing that it had brought him, was that he was now able to feel the circulation of the force better. He felt the dark tendrils emanating from Vader, radiating rage and hatred and pain. Being so close to him, it felt like it was trying to engulf him, slithering around his torso and legs, swallow him up. Part of the heavy cloak was already covering his right leg.

He could have sworn to hear Vader snort. And before his inner eye he saw his young, bright Padawan rolling his deep blue eyes in annoyance at him. His breath got caught in his throat. It felt like something was pressing on his windpipe as he stared in shock at his tormentor. Pressure build up on his thorax, like a Bantha sat on top of it.

His vision became fuzzy again. His breathing accelerated; pain spread throughout his body; everything was spinning uncontrolled around him. He barely felt being grabbed, then a faint painful sensation at his right arm and his surroundings skidded to a halt. The dark room took form again. Blinking Obi-Wan tried to understand what was going on.

“Are all Jedi this fragile, Lord Vader?” A mechanical voice drew his attention. Obi-Wans eyes landed on a humanoid form standing next to the Sith. It took him a while to recognize the model. A 2-1B medical unit. Or at least the head of one. The rest of the body was different. It was sturdier, like it was not just built to treat injuries, but to cause them, too.

“What…?” The Jedi began, but his tongue failed him.

“Don’t worry, Master Jedi.“ The droid piped instantly up again. “You were having a panic attack. I administered some sedative. You should be fine now.”

This was not fine at all! Obi-Wans brain tried to rile him up. Was that what Vader would be doing? Keeping him dosed with drugs? Stuffing him in this room to rot? Let his hallucinations drive him mad? He knew he should feel at least unnerved about these thoughts. But the beginning discomfort died down quickly and he started feeling weird. Usually, he would use the force to cleanse his body from any drugs, but that was not an option here. Or at least not now.

“Oh my, he really is sensitive.” The droid commented.

“You ripped out the infusion.“ Vader stated the obvious, ignoring everything that had just happened. The Jedi tried to glare at him. But he felt his mind becoming hazed. “It is just nutritional supplementation and Bacta.“ The Sith explained and the medical unit immediately started to list every ingredient of the infusion with the exact concentration. Although Obi-Wan knew he should know those ingredients, his mind didn’t come up with any additional information. And even if it did, it might all just be a lie. So, what did it even matter?

“But I guess you are strong enough to eat now. This will suffice, then.“ Vader interrupted the droid as it started to count the included fatty acids by their chain length. By then Obi-Wan couldn’t care any less anymore. Vader stayed a while, sitting next to him. His hand a steady weight on his right forearm, somewhere below the crook of his elbow, saying nothing while the Jedi just stared up at him with glazed over, blank eyes.

The next time Obi-Wan awoke, his mind snapped instantly to attention. He knew where he was, and what had happened. Looking around he noticed that he was alone. No Vader. No droid.

He felt better. His body still ached, but the pain was manageable. This time he succeeded to push himself up into a sitting position. His head started spinning, but adjusted within seconds. Apparently, the bandages on his body had been changed. New Bacta patches covered half of his skin and there was no needle sticking anywhere in his flesh. And now, that he was able to take in the whole room: No Padmé. No decomposing body lying on the floor anywhere.

Closing his eyes, he went inward. Concentrating on his body, searching for something that was out of place, using the force flowing through him naturally. He found nothing he didn’t expected. To be honest, he was in a better condition than he had expected. He was weak. There was no way around it. His muscles were basically gone and he felt some of what was left was ripped and stitched together again. Tendons especially in his shoulders and arms were still in healing process. The joints a complete mess. It was no wonder he couldn’t raise his arms up without writhing in pain. This was by far the most damaged region of his entire body. Several bones seemed to have healed from a recent fracture. And his skin was a field of craters. But that was nothing he wouldn’t be able to repair over time with intensive meditation and Force healing. Some of the scars would stick with him. Those that would have cost him his life if he hadn’t received medical attention. However, this was of no importance. He highly doubted he would ever get out of here alive anyway.

His legs obeyed him this time. Slowly he swung them out of bed. It felt odd to have the entire soles of his feet touch the ground. For a moment he just sat there looking down at his naked feet. His right foot was also bandaged. But they were clean. No blood sticking on them. Surprised he noticed the carpet. It covered the area around the bed and was made out of a fluffy, soft fabric that was feeling nice on bare skin. It had the same dark red color as the blanket and the cushions on the chair.

Then he reached for the curtain and pushed it aside. The infusion machine was gone and the black fabric settled at the spot where it had been standing. Looking that way for the first time, he saw a nightstand beside the bed and two shut off lamps just above the it. A panel with some buttons was imbedded in the wall beside the bedframe. Probably to control the lights.

The red light from outside engulfed and hypnotized him for a moment. Memories pushed their way through, the smell of sizzling flesh rose in his nostrils. He heard a painful scream in the back of his head, yellow hateful eyes staring at him.

Before it took over his entire mind the Jedi averted his gaze back to the floor. Was that the reason he was in here? To drive him crazy? Breathing deeply but slowly he sealed those horrid memories back where they had clawed their way out of. Keeping his eyes on the ground, he pushed himself up from the bed. His legs trembled heavily. And he just managed to not fall face first to the floor, by shifting his weight back in the direction of the bed, effectively sitting down again.

Okay. That was bad. A second try resulted like the first one. He skidded closer to the bedpost, using that as a crutch the next time. This helped a lot. He managed to hold himself upright.

The door slid open and made him almost jump out of his skin. He didn’t feel anyone coming. But it was just the weird looking medical unit, that scurried into the room a plate with food and a bottle of water in his hands.

“I see you have already started with the physiotherapy on your own, Master Jedi.” It said in an almost flirting tone, walked up to the desk and placed the food there. Before it stepped to him. “May I propose that you eat first?” It pointed to the desk and stretched a hand out in his direction.

Obi-Wan didn’t react to this. Confused he stared at it, clutching the bedpost for dear life. For a few seconds the 1-2B unit waited. “Is there a problem, Master Jedi?” It finally asked, bevor stepping even closer to him and stretching out its other hand, too. “Do you need more assistance?”

“What do you mean by physiotherapy?” He asked back, trying to get a little space between them by shifting sideways and forcing his feet to follow while leaning heavily on the bedframe. This prompted the droid to cite a definition about what physiotherapy was and the purpose of it. But at least it didn’t follow him. Not that he got really far.

“I know.” Obi-Wan interrupted it. “Why would I receive physiotherapy?”

“Lord Vader made it very clear, he wants to see you back at full health as fast as possible.”

This didn’t make any sense. At all. Vader was the one who had reduced him to this degenerated state. He had tortured him for… well for how long? He still was completely clueless about how much time had passed.

“Why?” He wanted to know.

“That is something I would recommend to discuss with Lord Vader personally.” The droid answered. Witch didn’t even clarify if the droid knew the answer to that and just wouldn’t tell him, or if it was clueless itself. “Please sit down and eat, Master Jedi. I know the food is not very appetizing, but your digestive system wouldn’t hold richer food at its temporary state.”

What in the stars was going on here!? He looked at the plate on the desk. He knew that eating would be a delicate process after starving for so long. But he didn’t trust this. What was in the food? Sedatives? Some other drugs? Vader had to know that with growing physical strength his abilities would return. When his mind wouldn’t be so occupied with his own bodily deficits, he would start to get a better grip on the Force again.

Was he so sure of himself? Was he so sure of this building? Did Vader really think his former Master wouldn’t pose a threat to him? Not even have the chance to escape from here?

Why would he even care about his health? If he wanted him as a bargaining chip or for information, why would he command this droid to nurse him back to full health? This didn’t even make sense if Vader just wanted him not to die, so he could tear him apart again. At least not to this extent.

“Master Jedi?” The droid piped up again. Now it stepped even closer and was practically right in his face. “Did I fail to diagnose severe brain damage?” It mused.

Obi-Wan flinched away, lost his balance for a moment as his grip on the metallic bedframe slipped, and the droid grabbed his upper arm, saving him thus from falling.

“You should be careful, Master Jedi. You are in quite a fragile state. I wouldn’t want to have to mend broken bones again.” And then it was again too close for any comfort. Obi-Wan bend as much back as he could, pulling at his arm. Who knew what other commands that thing had received from its master? “Hm… your pupil dilation response isn’t giving me any reason for concern.” It stated after a few seconds. Then it stepped backwards, plucking him from the bedpost. Like his grip on the metal was no hindrance at all. Automatically the Jedi grabbed for the nearest support, which was now the droid itself. Stumbling he followed 1-2B to the desk. Because, what else was he going to do? Had he let go, he would have landed on the floor. And he did agree at least to the point, that broken bones weren’t something to aspire. Although he doubted very much that such a mere impact would actually break anything.

It took them several minutes to cross those three meters from the bed. Obi-Wan dragged his feet inch by inch across the floor. Feeling what was left of his muscles crying out in protest about this much work. But the droid had been patient all the way, using the time to explain the reason for muscle atrophy, like he tried to teach an anatomy student. The droid let him sit down at the desk.

The mush on the plate really didn’t look very appetizing. 1-2B instantly started to list the ingredients here, too, elaborating on why they were part of it and what they where important for. For a moment Obi-Wan contemplated to ask, whether there were any drugs in it, but he doubted it would tell him the truth if there actually were. On the other hand, what choice did he have? If he refused to eat, he would lose what little strength he had left. And whether he was drugged through solid food or an infusion didn’t really make any difference. So, he started to eat reluctantly. It tasted like cardboard. Like he had expected.

After he was done, the droid proposed to help him to the bathroom. By the time they got there, at least some water had apparently found its way to his bladder.

This room was spacious, too. There was no window, and it seemed to be made completely out of stone. It contained a shower as well as a big bathtub. Black cabinets stood at one wall. Cleanly folded, red towels lay ready to use beside the sink. A mirror was wall-mounted above it. When he looked at it, a withered old man stared back at him. Dull blue eyes, sunken cheeks, greyish skin, wrinkling at his forehead and around the eyes. It was weird, that his hair and beard was cleanly cut. And now it looked like at the time of the Clone Wars.

“Did you cut my hair?”, he asked the droid standing next to him.

“I got precise instructions about that from Lord Vader.”, it piped up happily. “I hope you are pleased with the outcome.”

In fact, he couldn’t care less. Back then he had cared about his appearance. Maybe a little too much for a Jedi. After Mustafar and Padmés death everything had become meaningless. Of course, he tried to keep Luke and Leia safe, helped the resistance, saved remaining Jedi. But it almost always had felt like he was going through the motions. Only recently when he and Ahsoka had found each other, things had started to get better. He had slowly started to feel like himself again. Which had brought the nightmares back that had tortured him almost every night for a year after everything had collapsed.

“Oooh, you don’t like it.” The droid exclaimed disappointed. “Did I do something wrong? Lord Vader said you used to wear it like that and didn’t comment on the outcome. I thought I copied the look quite well.”

“You did.” He agreed, staring at himself. His hair had grown so long in the past years he had had to tie it back. Ahsoka had braided it from time to time. Just to annoy him. Usually when he had been asleep and therefore in no position to stop her. She was the only one, who managed to approach him without causing him to wake up. At least that would not happen again. “Are there other prisoners here?”

“I assume there might be some. Though I wouldn’t know anything specific about any of it.”

“You don’t tend to them?” Obi-Wans heart sank as the possibility struck him, that Ahsoka could be somewhere here. And if she was here, had Vader tortured her as he had him? Had he burned and sliced her into pieces? Had he managed to get information out of her?

“Oh, I only tend to Lord Vader. You are the only other person he ever asked me to take care of.” The droid cut through his rapidly expanding train of thoughts about his worst fears.

Taken aback Obi-Wan stared at the droid. Nothing here made sense. And it didn’t seem like it would start to. “Why would Vader tell his personal medical droid to tend to a prisoner?”

“He didn’t refer to you as such, Master Jedi. I was instructed to treat you like an honored guest. Why would Lord Vader accommodate a prisoner in a room designated for highly important visitors?” Now the droid seemed as confused as the Jedi. And yes, Obi-Wan had already asked himself the same thing. Why was he sleeping in a bed with silken bedsheets?

“Do you usually torture your highly important guests? Or lock them in their rooms?” He didn’t try the door yet. But the red light on the panel had made it very clear that he was not free to leave.

“Some are deported to the dungeons after having said or done something extremely stupid to annoy Lord Vader.” 1-2B did something that resembled someone shrugging his shoulders like that piece of information was of no importance and completely ordinary. Maybe it was here. But Obi-Wan at least got out of it, where he had been for the past days… weeks… months? Somewhere in the dungeons. From the view of his window he could see, that his room had to be somewhere high up. If he wanted to check the prisoners for Ahsoka, his way down would be a long one.

“And I assure you, you will be granted access to the whole floor, once the other two guests have cleared out. They are scheduled for departure in the morning.”

And it just kept getting weirder and weirder. Obi-Wan stared at the droid, his reflection in the mirror completely forgotten.

“Should I escort you back to your room?”, the droid broke the awkward silence. “It really seems you should rest, Master Jedi. And I should go through your files again. Maybe I did miss some injury on your head somehow.” Not even waiting for a response, 1-2B stepped up again and like before plucked him away from whatever he was gripping without any difficulty. Together they started to walk towards the bathroom door. Very slowly. When they arrived at the bed, Obi-Wan was more than happy to sit down. This was exhausting. “I will leave you then, Master Jedi. In the evening I will return with dinner and to redress your wounds.” Then it left after collecting the empty plate from the desk. Obi-Wan sank back onto the bed and lay down on his back so that he looked at the ceiling. The lamps were all turned off and the whole room was drenched in red. Why did he push back the curtains? Looking up he pondered what his chances were of successfully rounding the bed and drawing the curtains again. He estimated they would be near zero. Or worse.

Exhausted and frustrated he pressed his hands to his eyes. He needed to shut it out. He needed to take some time and collect his thoughts, bring peace to his mind. While his mind was still all over the place he started with some breathing exercises. Focusing his eyes on the black ceiling he tried to clear himself of everything else. To some extend he succeeded. But the red light was doing a good job at distracting him and luring his thought back to memories he would like to erase entirely from his brain. Annoyed by himself he pulled a pillow over his face to block everything out. Apparently, it helped, because the next thing he realized was someone or something outside the door. Alarmed he pushed the pillow away and sat up.

“I hope you have rested well, Master Jedi.” 1-2B chimed as he entered. Again, he carried a plate and a new bottle of water, which he put down at the desk.

“I have, thank you.”, the Jedi answered politely. At least to some extent he felt calm. Way calmer than since his imprisonment. “How should I call you?” He asked next already pushing himself towards the bedpost.

“Lord Vader calls me Toobee. You are welcome to do so as well.” The droid waited patiently until Obi-Wan had stood up on his own, using the bedpost as crutch again, bevor it offered its hand as support. This time the Jedi didn’t hesitate to accept the help.

“I will then.” Obi-Wan nodded and they together started the slow journey to the desk. “You also don’t need to call me Master Jedi all the time. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Two or three times on their way Obi-Wan tripped and only the droids grip at his forearms prevented him from falling.

“Then you prefer Master Kenobi?” Toobee inquired as the Jedi sat down on the chair.

“Actually, I would prefer just Kenobi or Obi-Wan.” Being called by his title felt wrong. It had been ok with Ahsoka. But only because she had called him so before everything had crashed and burned. Now that the Jedi Order was dispersed, erased, being called by his old title by someone he hadn’t known before, felt unjustified. He wasn’t even sure, if he still was a Jedi. He identified himself as such only because he didn’t know what else he would be without it.

“As you wish, Obi-Wan.” The droid answered. Smiling up at it, Obi-Wan nodded again, before he turned to his food that looked like the one in the afternoon. Well, his food would look like this for some days to come. And keep tasting like cardboard at least as long. When he was halfway through it, the droid placed a small glass container next to his plate. Four small pills were in it. Obi-Wan stilled in his movements and stared at it.

“Analgesic’s and anti-inflammatory medication.” The droid explained. “The effects of your medication will wear off until tomorrow.”

“I am not taking those.” Obi-Wan said immediately in a strict tone.

“You prefer injections then?” Toobee asked seemingly confused.

“No.” Agitated the Jedi pushed himself up and faced Toobee. It was ridiculous. He could not even stand without leaning heavily on the table. How was he supposed to stop someone from injecting him with drugs?

Silence spread out between them. Obi-Wans heart raced in his chest. His hands were trembling slightly. There was no chance he would take anything. He just started to be able to get a grip on himself again.

“I assure you, Obi-Wan, you still need medication. You are nowhere near healed.” The droid tried again.

“Get out!” He ordered.

“I don’t think Lord Vader would approve…” Toobee began.

“You are supposed to treat me like an honored guest, don’t you?” The Jedi snapped. “And I tell you to leave! Now! And don’t come back!”

Still unsure, the droid complied with the order, muttering to itself how stupid and emotional organic beings tend to behave. When it was out, Obi-Wan leaned with his back to the wall and slid down to the floor. His head filled with those hallucinations he had seen while being tortured. Balling his hands into fists he tried to stop them from trembling as he failed to prevent his mind to spiral out of control. The last thing he remembered was a voice full of loathing yelling at him, about how much it hated him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I was really inspired. Here is the next chapter.  
> Just for you Nightshade: The paragraphs are spaced out. I hope I didin´t overdo it ;)  
> And vermalreik: Thanks for the tip about the comic storyline. That sounds really interesting and I will check that out. But the mask itself kind of looks rirdiculous. I guess Ventress would be into that kind of stuff XD And also that thing about your childhood experience. I see, you understand me.

“And you did?!” A roaring voice full of anger cut through Obi-Wans clouded mind.

“Make up your mind!” A mechanical voice answered sounding annoyed and not at all concerned. “What is he? A prisoner or an honored guest? You may remember, there are also several categories in between.”

“A stubborn, mindless, infuriating idiot!” The vice roared again, now directly in front of him. But no matter how unnerving it was to have this furious person right beside him, he had difficulties to open his eyes. His senses were overloaded with rage and hatred and pain… and concern, fear? Something was weird.

“I don’t know how to categorize his social status with that kind of description.” The other voice retorted.

Someone grabbed Obi-Wan by the arm and dragged him upright, leaning him against a hard surface behind him. Everything hurt. His thorax was screaming with pain. Adrenalin shot through his body and cut down the haze in his mind. His eyes snapped open, as he remembered what had happened. 

Darth Vader was right in front of him. The ugly, huge helmet mere inches away as he was staring right at him. His hand still holding him in place at his upper arm. The other hand came up and Obi-Wan jerked away instinctively. His heart racing.

“You are scaring him!” The other voice complained. A droid crouched down and pushed the Sith to the side. “No wonder after what you did to him.” It kept going in a condemning tone. But weirdly enough the Sith let it do so. Obi-Wans gaze followed the dark clad figure as it stood up, not caring for the droid right in front of him.

Darth Vader took a step back, looking right directly him. The Jedi was not able to see his eyes, but he felt his gaze at him. The hatred and anger radiating from him died down a little, the pain intensified.

“He is feverish. Again.” The droid complained. “I will redress and clean the wounds. If you would be so kind, please put him on the bed, Lord Vader.” With these words it stood up and hurried out of the room, leaving the two Force users alone.

For a moment the Sith seemed to hesitate. The uncertainty was palpable in the Force. But then he stepped up and crouched down in front of Obi-Wan, grabbed him, not even acknowledging the resistance he put up. With ease he pulled the Jedi up and on his feet, where he was only able to remain because of the arm that was wrapped around his torso and the fortress like body he was pressed against. His vision blacked out for a moment as pain took over every inch of his perception. He was unsure whether he had screamed out. But when his brain started working again his throat felt rough and strained. This close to the Sith Lord, the darkness washed over him like a swarm of hornets, stinging aggressively everywhere, sticking to his skin, his soul, forcing its way in through every weak spot it could find. Building up and clawing at him, tying to tear into him violently.

The next thing he was aware of, he was down on his knees again, throwing up whatever was left in his stomach. Everything started spinning.

“What have you done now?” The droid voice sounded weary. Apparently, it was back. “You should have listened to me. He should have stayed longer in your Bacta Tank.”

“He was fine until you neglected your duty to take care of him!” Vader shot back angrily.

“He was also fine until you started cutting him up in the first place.” The droid shot back. The whole room started vibrating. At least Obi-Wan thought so. Maybe it was just him. But then he felt the Force whirling angrily around him. And the next moment something crashed against the wall and fell to the ground, making the whole room shake. Obi-Wan flinched as the floor seemed to be flooded by Darkness. Surrounding his hands and legs. Biting. Piercing. Clawing.

“Throwing a temper tantrum in the presence of your victim will not help.” The droid exclaimed. “Perfect. Now he is hyperventilating again.”

Was he? Obi-Wan was trying hard to calm himself down again. Not being squeezed against Vader made it at least possible. He still felt him standing only one step away. Now that he focused on himself, he felt his hands shaking, his breathing was heavy and his chest felt compressed. Sweat covered his skin. And his heart was beating so hard he feared it would rip through his chest. He needed to strengthen his mental shields! Why were they shattered so much in the first place?

“Do shut up, Toobee.”, Vader ordered.

The droid came nearer. “It is all right, Obi-Wan.” It mused as it hunkered down at his side. Something pierced the skin in his neck. Even in this situation the Jedi knew exactly what had just happened. And right on cue, the trembling died down. His breathing slowed as well as his heartrate. He fell to the side where the droid caught him. Seemingly without any problems it picked him up and half dragged, half carried him to the bed. Lying him down on top of it Toobee started to explain what he would do. He described how he would administer the medication, listing down the active agents and explaining what they were for. As well as describing the process of redressing his wounds. After a few more minutes Obi-Wans mind was completely out. He heard the voice but whatever words were pronounced, they didn’t make any sense. The looming darkness of Vader stayed as well. And when he at last lost his consciousness, he spiraled down into a nightmarish dream about the worst day of his life. The day everything, he had known and loved crashed and almost all his friends had been slaughtered. The day that one of his closest friends had died in front of him directly after giving birth to her children. While also on the same day he had left the most important person in his life to burn alive. 

His vision was blurry when Obi-Wan opened his eyes. Blinking repeatedly helped. Something wet slid down the corner of his eyes. Was he crying? Or were his eyes just wet from sleep? It took him a few moments to remember what had transpired. He felt a lot better. The pain had subsided again to a bearable level and his mind felt not sharp, but functioning. Slowly he turned his head to the side. As his senses had already informed him, Vader was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at him.

Obi-Wan sighed. “What do you want?” He asked quietly. “I will never give you any information.” Confused he looked at the dark clad figure. The cloak was missing. It was hard to see, because the black curtains were drawn again to shield the bed area from the red light and the Sith kind of blend into all those dark colors. 

“I know.” The rasping voice answered. And it was odd how the Force behaved around them. The menacing tendrils around the Sith were calm, not trying to infiltrate and taint everything around them. His Force signature less intimidating and revolting. Now Ahsoka surely would have recognized him as her former master.

“Then, what is it, that you want from me?” Obi-Wan repeated his question. But the Sith Lord remained silent. Instead, he lifted his right hand and reached for his head. The Jedi braced himself. Waiting for the pain. But the touch was almost… gentle. His fingers ran carefully through his hair. Then Vader retracted his hand.

“Do not refuse to take your medication again. I ordered Toobee to not accept this. And he is very much able to force it upon you.” Vader warned ignoring his question completely. Without another word he stood up and left the room. The light on the panel beside the door stayed green. So, he really was allowed to leave and wander around now?

Before he started anything, the Jedi concentrated on himself. He tested his grip on the force and was able to use it to scan his body. There was nothing, he didn’t already know. Slowly he pushed himself up into a sitting position. The room looked almost the same as he remembered. Only on the wall opposite the windows was a very good visible dent. Metal was bend and stone chipped. But he wasn’t able to identify the object that had been thrown. Presumably it was already gone and replaced.

He resisted the urge to try the door. There was no chance he would even get to it. So, he closed his eyes and began a breathing exercise. It functioned well and he was able after some time to put himself in a meditative state, tending to his overwhelmed mind, strengthening his metal shields. He dived into it and searched his feelings. After some time, he felt Ahsoka. He felt that she was alive and didn’t feel her presence anywhere near him. Which probably just meant that she wasn’t on this floor. But there were still the dungeons. Way down. So, he focused his attention there. There was something very dark looming there. But it wasn’t Vader. It felt different. Very old. And not alive. Was this an artifact? It had to be immensely powerful to emanate this much Darkness. Anyway, if Ahsoka was in this building and in pain, it would be close enough to feel her distress.

When he felt something outside the door, he resurfaced from his meditation. Only seconds later Toobee entered. “I do very much hope, you feel better, Obi-Wan.” He greeted cheerfully and walked to the desk where he sat down a plate and water.

“I do. Thank you.” The Jedi answered. He eyed the droid. It did behave very uncharacteristically. And although Vader didn’t show any regrets destroying so much 1-2B units back in the dungeons when he had been frustrated, he tolerated the snarky behavior of this one. “Did Vader build you?” He asked bluntly.

“He did.” It answered proudly. “From what he told me; he took several droids apart to acquire the needed components to create me.”

“He always had been talented with these things.” But what did this mean? Did Vader build himself a friend? Or did he build a droid he needed for something and it turned out to be useful enough that he decided to put up with the attitude? Maybe one merged with the other? Did he ever wipe the memory of this droid? Or did he refuse to like he had with Artoo?

When Toobee approached the bed, Obi-Wan skidded to the edge and took the offered hands. With the help of the droid, he got to the chair and sat down.

“Please don’t have another nervous breakdown.” It stated and placed again a small glass container beside the plate. “I have to make sure you take your medication.”

Weary Obi-Wan looked at the small pills inside the container. What were his options here? Did he even have any? If he refused to take them, Toobee would force him. And at least in his state now he really didn’t want to pick a fight with it. Plus, there was the fact, that he really had felt miserable. Did he actually want to risk drowning in fever again?

Disgruntled he reached for the container. Whatever was in there, at least it didn’t seem to have any negative effects on him. With a sceptic look at the droid, he took out the pills, scooped them into his mouth and washed them down with the water. “Satisfied?” He asked.

“Very.” Toobee confirmed happily.

Rolling his eyes Obi-Wan returned his attention to the mushed cardboard on his plate, while the droid started to explain the dangers of disrupting anti-inflammatory medication.

The days dragged on like that. Toobee would help him with almost everything over the day. In fact, one of the buttons on the panel at his bedside was just to summon him. He learned that another button was to actually lower blinds over the large windows that shut out any light from outside. He pushed it immediately and never touched it again.

Soon he was able to walk good enough that he didn’t have to call the droid when he needed to use the bathroom. He discovered that the wardrobe in his room was actually filled with clothes. But not one piece was out of simple linen or cotton. Everything in there was silk, leather or velvet and adorned with elaborate embroidery or the style was completely over the top. Sometimes both. Everything was obviously very valuable and expensive. He hated it. But Toobee was happy to help him out and brought him some plain clothing made of cotton and simple fitting brown leather boots. And they stuffed more things like that into the wardrobe after pushing aside the expensive junk. Together they went through the stuff in the bathroom, too, sorting out the luxurious crap it was filled up with. And Obi-Wan was provided with regular soap and shampoo. Something he at least knew how to apply.

They chatted amiably and Obi-Wan seriously enjoyed the droid’s company. Sometimes he even saw other droids. Mostly doing the cleaning and Toobee seemed to be authorized to command them around. None of them was even remotely interested in chatting with Obi-Wan.

His physiotherapy was hard. But the Jedi was happy when he was able to at last raise both of his arms over his head without crying out in pain. And soon the pills he needed to take were reduced to one by one until there was nothing left. His cardboard food turned into solid food with some taste to it. Even using the force became easier. His meditation went without problems. His shields grew stronger again. He succeeded in letting the nightstand hover in place and in ripping out the hideous imperial flag on the opposite wall of the bed. At least now this ugly thing wouldn’t be the first thing he saw when he woke up. The Force healing together with Toobees great caretaking closed most of his wounds within a weak. There were only two left, to which Bacta patches were applied. One on his lower abdomen and the other on one side of his thorax. The rest of his skin was scarred, but intact. To Obi-Wans astonishment the droid even brought him some reading material to pass the time. It was not the imperial propaganda he had expected but Jedi history and legends. He recognized some of it. This was content from the Jedi library on Coruscant. Clearly happy Toobee explained that it had been Lord Vader who send him these.

And not long after that Toobee even went out into the hallway with him. Using the droid as a crutch, he was able to wander around a little. It turned out, that there were three more rooms, just like the one he was accommodated in. Further down the hall, right before the elevator, there was a huge communal room filled with comfortable couches. The imperial propaganda lay around her on the coffee tables. The droid explained that was where Vader usually received the not military guests. On the other side was an equally spacious dining room. Everything was colored in black and red and packed with imperial flags. The red light falling through the windows tinted everything in reddish light. But otherwise, it was almost sterile. No decorations, no plants. Nothing. And as Obi-Wan stood in the communal room, staring out the window into the distance, he saw a construction site. His mouth felt dry all of the sudden. His eyes fixated on the metal protruding into the lava sea. He felt his hands tremble slightly and heard his blood rushing in his ears.

“Are we on Mustafar?” He asked not being able to avert his gaze.

“Oh yes.” Toobee affirmed enthusiastically and started to elaborate on the materials that were exported from this planet. But Obi-Wan didn’t even hear it. His mind was focused on the lava stream and he could swear he saw pieces of metal floating in it. Were those droids at work? The smell of burnt flesh rose in his nose. He made a hesitant step back, let go of the droid’s shoulder and grabbed the backrest of the couch behind him.

“Are you not well, Obi-Wan?” Toobee stepped into his focus. The Jedi flinched. “Obi-Wan?” The droid sounded concerned.

He was on Mustafar. He was on Mustafar. He was on Mustafar! Mustafar! Mustafar!

“Obi-Wan!”

Someone shook him slightly and the sound of clashing lightsabers subsided. Wide-eyed he stared at the droid face in front of him. And he remembered where he actually was. Then he turned around and covered his mouth with his hand as he felt his lunch trying to come back up. Closing his eyes, he focused on his breathing, willing it to slow down. After some minutes the nausea died down again.

“I need to go back.” He spoke. Toobee complied and helped him. However, no matter how often the droid asked, Obi-Wan refused to tell him, what had just happened. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted it gone.

A few days later he felt Vader long before he entered his room. It was the first time he came to him after the incident with the refused pills. He stopped right in his tracks, when he stepped in. Again, there was no cloak attached to his armor. For a moment he stared at Obi-Wan, who was sitting cross-legged on his bed. The Jedi felt calm. Even with that pile of black armor emanating tendrils of Dark Side feelings. He was steeled. With the Force back at his side, even when he knew, that he had no chance, it calmed him. There was a reason why he spent almost all the time Toobee wasn’t with him in meditation. Otherwise, he would probably be losing his mind now that he knew where he was.

Vader didn’t say anything at first. His head turned to the still shut windows, then to the wall where the imperial flag used to be and eventually to the pile of fabric on the floor just right below that spot.

“What are you wearing? Where did you even get that?” He demanded, stepping further into the room.

“Don’t you like it?” The Jedi replied. “I thought you were fond of my style during the Clone Wars.” To drive the point home, he ran his fingers through his hair.

He felt Vader’s anger explode like a bomb. For one second his calm demeanor left him as Vader took a step towards him. He felt the Sith reaching for the force and braced himself for the blow. But it never came. Instead, he turned around and left the room. Something outside crashed into something else. Then again. And again, before silence returned.

When Toobee entered his room sometime later, Obi-Wan was relived to see the droid unharmed. And even in a good mood, as he cracked a joke about how his master apparently had wanted to play dress up with the Jedi and was throwing temper tantrums as it didn’t go the way he had planned. Toobee didn’t seem to be concerned about it. So, the Jedi wasn’t either. Until the droid revealed to him, that Vader expected him for dinner in the dining room. His stomach turned and he was glad that the droid left him again so he could spend some time before that encounter with meditating and calming his mind.

When Toobee came for him, he was as ready as he would ever get. Vader was already present, sitting at the head of the table, again without his cloak. The seat on his right was already laid and Obi-Wan recognized his food. To his surprise a steaming cup stood beside a glass of water at his place. He tried to ignore the lava outside the large windows and sat down thanking the stars that it was with his back to those windows. As he looked down, he recognized the steaming contents of the cup as tea. This was new. He hadn’t received anything other than water to drink until now.

Then he waited. Nothing happened. Vader didn’t take his helmet off. No food arrived for him. What was this supposed to be?

“Eat.” The Sith commanded staring at him.

This was really awkward. Obi-Wan hesitated. Was there something in his food now? He eyed the pile of boiled vegetables on the side of his mushed cardboard and especially the tea that smelled so good, it had to be some kind of trap. He looked up again and exchanged a look with Toobee who stood right behind Vader. It just nodded reassuringly.

But when nothing happened and nothing was said, he started. Slowly and carefully. Vader didn’t say anything. He was just looking at him. It made Obi-Wan nervous. If he hadn’t meditated earlier, his nerves would have been wrecked by now. The only sound was that damn respirator. Why did he even wear the helmet inside his own fortress? There was no one around but Obi-Wan and Toobee. At first the Jedi had thought he tried to keep up appearances to keep him intimidated. But sitting like that at the table was just absurd.

Obi-Wan didn’t touch the cup until he was finished. It wasn’t steaming hot anymore but it still radiated enough heat, that it would be pleasurable. His fingers curled around the cup almost tenderly. The warmth it spread to his fingertips was feeling nice. The smell filled up his nostrils and he almost sighed in delight. The color was of a clear and light brown shade. Together with the smell Obi-Wan recognized it as Tarine Tea. A beverage he had always enjoyed. Cautiously he took a small sip. Rich flavor unfolded on his tongue and his taste buds went into overdrive. He couldn’t remember when he had ever had such good tea. His eyes closed for a moment and a quiet approving sound escaped his throat before he was able to suppress it. The next moment he jumped to attention as Vader rose without a word and left the room. The Jedi just stared after him, happy he hadn’t spilled his tea as he had flinched because of the sudden movement.

“What was that?” He asked Toobee. It just shrugged his shoulders.

“Stage fright?” It quipped.

“What?” Confused he now stared at the droid.

“Why don’t you enjoy your tea. Then I will escort you back.” It overlooked his irritation and waited patiently for the Jedi to finish. Obi-Wan took his time. Now that the creepy stares were gone, he relaxed a bit and cherished every sip of the now only mildly warm beverage. Before letting Toobee help him back to his room, where it wished him a good night and left immediately again. As weird as that had been, it repeated itself. Vader requested his attendance in the next evening again and every evening after that. And it went down the same way as before. The Sith waited for him in the dining room, not wearing his cloak at any point. That alone shouldn’t have had been as confusing, as it was. Without that billowing black fabric falling from his shoulders that obscured his shape, he looked more like a human. And less like the embodiment of pure hatred that was too humongous to fit into the body of a living being.

Every time Vader would just watch him eat without saying a word, leaving the sound of his breaths being the only noise in the room. The Jedi had always his shield up. Scanning for any shift in the Force that might occur. Waiting for the moment when something happened and Vader would lash out at him. Surrounding himself with the Force, setting it up like a shield to negate any attacks that might be thrown at him. So close to each other, this must have had been apparent to the Sith. But he never said even one word. The only difference from that first encounter was, that he stayed for the tea. Every evening a cup of tea waited for the Jedi. It wasn’t always Tarine Tea. Some of the flavors Obi-Wan knew, other he didn’t.

After a week, Obi-Wan was as annoyed by this as he was nervous. He pondered what his chances were to survive if he refused to turn up for this ridiculous and creepy dinners. And when he asked the droid, what Vader wanted to achieve by just sitting there and watching him, it proposed Obi-Wan should just ask him.

He didn’t need Toobee anymore to walk. At least not really. He wasn’t anywhere near to what could be called sure-footed, but it was good enough to walk down an even surface without falling on his face. Nevertheless, the droid accompanied him as always and stood behind Vader all the time, while Obi-Wan ate. He assessed the situation in the most careful way. Vader seemed calm. Or at least clam for a Sith Lord. The Dark Side didn’t rage around him like it used to whenever Obi-Wan had encountered him before. Not since these weird dinners had started at least. Well, not much. The Darkness seemed to coil around the Sith, without any intention to invade the space around it.

“Why Mustafar?”, the Jedi broke the silence. Not really the topic he aimed at, but at least he said something. Turning his head to the Sith he leaned back in his chair, strengthening his Force shields to be ready for any emotional outburst.

“I take it you don’t like being here.” Vader answered. A hint of gleeful amusement hid in that modulated voice.

“No.” He confirmed. He didn’t even have the words to describe how much he was disgusted by the very thought of being on this planet. How much it was pushing his boundaries and mental capacity to not end up a weeping mess on the floor in one corner of his room. “You?”

“That is the point why I built my fortress here.”

“You actually build this pile of black crap here on purpose?” What in the Force was this supposed to mean?

“It is built upon an ancient Sith cave. I am sure you already felt it.”

So that was the Dark Side presence he had felt way down. A cave filled with dark energy. “You are trying to harness its powers.” Obi-Wan concluded.

“I was promised it could bring back the dead.” He explained.

Obi-Wans blood turned to ice. Staring at the black mask his mouth slightly opened. But he didn’t even know what to say.

“Spare me your hypocritical Jedi lectures. It didn’t work anyway.” He warned sharply. And like they wanted to emphasize the statement the tendrils lashed out in Obi-Wans direction maliciously, hitting his own erected protective shield and sending ripples of disturbance through it. But it hadn’t been a serious assault. Just a reminder.

“You would have done that to her!?” The Jedi found his voice again. His shock about this revelation turned fast into anger. Memories flashed before his inner eye of the purely good woman that had been once his friend. Of the honest smile with which she always had greeted him. Her dedication to justice. And her hard work for it.

“I would have given her her life back!” Vader spat at him. His dark aura all of the sudden thriving with aggression.

“You would have disgraced her!” Obi-Wan corrected. Standing up, he took a step back. This would not end well for him, if he didn’t shut up. “You think the Dark Side could give you back what she was? You think the Dark Side could give you anything that is as pure, compassionate and uncorrupted as she had been? Are you this mad, Anakin!?” He screamed at him against his better judgment. The use of his former Padawans name left a bitter taste on his tongue. It had slipped out. Rapidly festering in his mind, that Vader and that adorable boy he had raised, were indeed one and the same person.

“Gentlemen, please, maybe…” Toobee piped in but was silenced with a mere gesture from Vader and stepped immediately out into the hall. The Sith Lord rose to his feet. Hatred and anger falling from him in waves and spreading across the whole room, building up on the floor like mist. Soon Obi-Wan had the feeling the Darkness was biting at his ankles, trying to climb up his pants or pull him down into endless oblivion. But he didn’t care! He would not back down! Not about this!

“I saw your memories!” Vader roared. “The shame, self-hatred, despair. You loathe yourself for letting her die. How could you not take any chance to right that wrong!?”

“How can you be this selfish about her!?” The Jedi shot back. He would give anything to turn back time. To have another chance at this. But something like that wouldn’t be turning back time. It would just exacerbate things. “You are only thinking about your own pain! How you feel! But what about her!?” He challenged. “Have you already forgotten how appalled she was by what you had become!? Because I remember perfectly! How do you think she would feel about all that you have done by now!” He knew exactly how he had felt, when he had seen the holo recordings. When he had seen his former Padawan slaughtering Youngling. Striking Windu. Bowing to a Sith. 

The attack came suddenly, but Obi-Wan had expected it. The Force grip aimed for his throat but he was able to counter it with a well-placed Force push, that negated both attacks. As a precaution, he took three steps back. Certainly, it was wise to be out of reach for the lightsaber.

“Anakin.” He tried again. And he almost couldn’t believe himself, that he used this name for that monstrous thing again. But how could his Padawan truly be gone, if he still cared this much about his late wife? Vader wouldn’t care about Padmé. Anakin still was somewhere in there. Master Yoda had been wrong. “If you force her back into this realm, it would only be a shadow. An abomination of the person you loved. Twisted into something she never was.”

The next attack hit him right in the chest, crashing through his defenses like a hungry Rancor on his way to its prey and slammed him against the window. Pain spread once again through Obi-Wans back. Vader took a step in his direction.

Drawing in the remains of his shield, the Jedi succeeded in breaking the power that pinned him to the windows. As it loosened around him, he fell to the ground and right into that mist full of malice that swarmed over him like parasites. Biting down, digging, plunging, gnawing at him. Robbing him of any air for a moment.

“You don’t have any idea how this would work!” Furious the Sith crossed the distance between them. Vader seized him by his collar and slammed him back against the window. The sickening breathing was roaring in Obi-Wans ears. The tendrils now tearing at him. It made the Jedi feel like he was breathing rage. Filling his lungs up with a slow but deadly poison.

“And neither you have!” He still managed to retort. “Tell me, how sure are you something like that would bring her back the way she was? You know the Dark Side. How much of her could you drag back into this world? And if you succeeded, how would she feel about it? How would she feel about you?” For a moment nothing happened and the Jedi brought his hands up and lay them gently on the gloved ones that were tearing at his tunic. “You need to let go, Anakin.”

Screaming in rage the Sith Lord hurled Obi-Wan away from the window and onto the table, where he slid across its surface until he fell down on the other side, yanking several chairs with him. The impact on the floor was painful. His vision blacked out for a moment. Desperately he blinked and tried to get back on his feet, out of this menacing darkness that covered the floor. His heart raced as he felt his opponent approaching him. A buzzing sound blend into the rasping breathing one of Vaders respirator. And before his mind even caught up on the meaning, he was grabbed again and found himself on his back, pressed down on the table. One gloved hand holding him firmly in place, the other swinging a red glowing lightsaber. Vader stood above his victim. Again, so close, that Obi-Wan felt like drowning in all that anger, pain and hatred. The blade came down at his throat, searing his skin. His nose filled with the smell of burned flesh. The sound of the lightsaber seemed to grow louder and louder, while the red light around them intensified. All of the sudden he felt hot, like standing right back on a piece of metal floating in the lava. Surrounded by the deadly liquid. Fighting his most important person to the death. Exchanging forceful blows. Failing in finding any way to make his Padawan stop. Failing his Padawan so utterly.

“I am so sorry.” He muttered almost inaudible only half aware of his situation. Looking up at that huge black mask, he wondered how Anakin looked right now. He wouldn’t even let him see his face. Always hiding behind that piece of junk. Instinctively he again laid a hand on top of the gloved one that held him down. The other reached up. His fingers came in contact with the cold metal, where Anakin’s cheek would be. A sob built up in his throat. And his vision became blurry. “I would have left with you. I would have left everything behind for you.” He completely forgot how the Dark Side engulfed him. How the Sith bend over him bled those menacing feelings upon him. It was not important. He wasn’t even aware of it anymore. Barely felt the attack on his mind and body.

Motionless Anakin stared down at him. The humming weapon and the rasping breathing the only noises. With a hissing sound the lightsaber shut off. Anakin straightened himself and Obi-Wans fingers lost contact to the mask. The grip at his collar loosened and for a brief moment it seemed like he wanted to grab Obi-Wans hand, that laid above it. But then he retracted himself completely from him. Stepped back. Without a word he turned around and left, leaving the Jedi lying on the table with an angry scorched gash at the side of his throat.

Obi-Wan just couldn’t muster up enough motivation to get up. With open eyes he laid on his bed, staring motionless at the black ceiling. He barely slept the night. Every time he had closed his eyes nightmares had rushed in and made him want to vomit. He wasn’t sure if he didn’t at some point actually throw up over the edge of his bed. His mind felt numb. The Force whirls around him didn’t make any sense, like soundwaves falling on deaf ears. There was just nothing.

When something pushed itself into his vision, he actually flinched. Toobee looked down at him. “You are awake.” It assessed. It leaned back again so the Jedi was able to sit up. The room was unchanged. The blinds were down, the flag lay uselessly on the ground, the panel on the door was green. Vader didn’t take any privileges away as it seemed. It was surprising. Obi-Wan had expected to be shoved back into the tiny room in the dungeons again to be tortured into insanity. But a few minutes after Vader had left, Toobee had rushed into the room, tending to his burned throat and bringing him back to his room after that, where the Jedi had curled up into a ball of sobbing mess on the bed. 

The Bacta patches covering his neck and part of his shoulder where the red blade had seared him, reminded him instantly of how close he came to be killed yesterday. As Obi-Wan sat on the edge of the bed, Toobee stopped him, declaring he would like to look at his wounds first. It only took a couple of minutes bevor the patches were renewed. The droid filled the silence with facts about lightsaber wounds and how to treat them, while at the same time kind of praising him for his Force healing abilities and how seamlessly they bolstered his medical treatments.

Obi-Wan didn’t say anything and let the droid blabber on. Every Jedi learned how to use the Force to heal himself. Qui-Gon had back then almost tortured him with these lessons. Later on, Obi-Wan had been extremely grateful for it, as it came in handy quite more often, than he had ever thought it would. For this mastery of the technic, he had been able to treat even others like that. Especially Anakin, as they had shared a Force bond, that had allowed them to merge their Force signatures to some extent and thus allowing the Force to flow between them more freely. But that had been long ago. Their bond had been barred by Anakin somewhen in his teenage years, when he had started to defy the Jedi teachings and had been prone to angry and violent lash outs at everything in his vicinity and especially his Master. Back then Obi-Wan hadn’t known how to deal with that and spoken to his fellow Jedi Knights as well as the Masters. While the violent outbursts where something the other Jedi were concerned about, all of them told him, that it was a natural transition for Padawans to close the bond to their master at that age and reminded him, that he surely had done the same. He had had to admit, that they had been right. No growing up hormonal boy wanted his Jedi master to be able to read their thoughts and sense their feelings without any restriction.

As a child Anakin had loved meditations with his master where they let the Force just flow freely between them, completely opening up to each other. It had made the insecure child confident. In the beginning it had seemed like Anakin had just waited for Obi-Wan to drop him at some spaceport. Or sell him to someone. He hadn’t learned it any other way. And when he didn’t understand something immediately or had made a mistake he would always be on the brim of panicking, while begging Obi-Wan not to leave him and promising that he would do better.

This open bond, where he actually had felt how his master was tied to him, and how much he loved him, convinced him, that he wouldn’t just leave him behind at the first sign of trouble. Obi-Wan had left the bond open at any time, so that his Padawan could always reach out for comfort, whenever he had been in need of it. In need of the presence of someone who unconditionally loved him. Someone he could trust to not turn his back on him no matter the situation. At that time, he had been very keen on physical contact, too. He knew not to cling to him, when others were present, but once they were alone, he was practically glued to him in some way.

This had changed when Anakin grew older. He had been sure of Obi-Wans loyalty to him by then but he never really formed deeper friendships to the other Padawans and he was distrustful of the other Jedi, knowing that many of them hadn’t wanted him to become one himself. Nevertheless, his abundant skill made him cocky and arrogant at the same time. Somewhen then he started to block the bond between them. At the age of fourteen, he had closed it completely and had grown to despise meditating sessions on which Obi-Wan had insisted and while Obi-Wan still let Anakin into his mind, Anakin blocked the way into his own for him. He had started to lash out at almost anything Obi-Wan had said. Sometimes it seemed as if he had barely been able to endure his presence and when he exploded at some point, yelling at him to shut that stupid bond up, since it was embracing and disgusting how he clung to him, Obi-Wan had done so. He had tried very much not to be offended by that. Luckily Anakin had calmed down after that. Somewhat. He still had avoided him. Hadn’t talked to him more than the bare minimum. Or to anyone for that matter, but they had been able to coexist without Anakin’s sudden violent outbursts.

His behavior had improved again after some time. When he had been seventeen, they had started to treat each other nearly normal again. His Padawan wasn’t acting like a bomb anymore where every word and every glance could make him go off out of reasons Obi-Wan had never understood.

Later, when they had spoken as equals, after Anakin had become a Jedi Knight, he had told Obi-Wan that he was actually sorry for his stupid behavior and had assured him, that it hadn’t been his fault. But he never elaborated on that and had shrugged it off as teenage idiocy. They had started to meditate again together. But Anakin didn’t take it very seriously and although they had merged their Force signatures together to some extent, he never had opened the bond between them.

He had tried to take meditations more seriously, when Ahsoka had joined their team and had asked Obi-Wan for help with that, as he really had wanted to be a good Master to his Padawan. But there had never been a free open bond between them again in those sessions either. And by then at least Obi-Wan had his suspicions about that. Had he had a secret relationship with Padmé he wouldn’t let anyone uncontrolled into his mind as well. There had of course never been any proof, but to Obi-Wan it had been obvious. Anakin had been falling for her ever since they had met again. After some time, Obi-Wan had seen that she had reciprocated those feelings. Sometimes they had smiled so openly in love at each other, that Obi-Wan had feared everyone around them would see it. The Council would have never shut up about it. It just had hurt, that Anakin apparently hadn’t trusted him enough to talk to him about that. It had hurt so much more, when he had seen Padmé being pregnant and Anakin still not saying anything. Not trusting him with it. Shutting him out like this. But by then Palpatine probably had poisoned his mind so much, that he didn’t even think about including him. But Obi-Wan had played into the Emperors hands as well with his behavior. The Rako Hardeen incident had driven a wedge between them so deep, that their relationship never had recovered completely again. Of course, Obi-Wan still had planned to address the pregnancy at some point, but he had delayed the topic, hoping that his former Padawan would still decide to trust him on his own. And then Order 66 had happened and it had been too late.

Obi-Wan was pulled out of his memories, by Toobee when he explained obviously pleased with himself, that he had finished to redress the wounds. The Jedi ate his breakfast and engaged in his physiotherapy, before he was left alone again. At some point he caught his reflection in the mirror above the sink in his bathroom. He still wore the cotton tunic that was half burned and half torn apart in yesterday’s quarrel. His left shoulder wasn’t even covered by the fabric anymore. But what difference did that make? It wasn’t like he needed to look presentable. So, he just crawled back into bed, not even interested in the reading material on his nightstand and fully aware that he wouldn’t succeed to drown himself in meditation. His mind was too mushy to concentrate on anything.

“I HATE YOU!!!” The well-known voice of his Padawan echoed in his head, when Obi-Wan came to again. He was caught between horrifying grieve and sickening nausea. Tears obscured his vision and he tried to collect what was left of his resolve to stop himself from breaking down and crying like a Youngling.

The alarming sensation of someone approaching forced itself to the front of his attention. There was no question about who it was. Just a moment later the doors slid open and Darth Vader entered, his cloak obscuring his body again and making him look like a horrid manifestation of Darkness without any distinct differentiation where his body started and where it ended. With him, again the anger, pain and hatred poured into the room. It didn’t stick to the Sith Lord anymore, but spread out to seize the surroundings and claim it as its own. When it washed over Obi-Wans body a shudder ran down his spine.

Housekeeping droids scurried in behind him. Some of them vanished into the bathroom, others opened the wardrobe and started digging through it.

“Get up!” The Sith ordered as he crossed the space to the bed. Reflexively Obi-Wan jerked back, drawing up as much Force to surround him as he could muster to protect himself form this invasive Darkness.

“I said, get up!!” Vader repeated and threw him out of the bed with a gesture of his hand. Painfully the Jedi collided with the floor and was pulled up onto his feet in the next second, just to be pushed forcefully against the window. Fear surged through him. Obi-Wan observed the droids as they picked up the clothes and carried them out.

“Strip.” Vader commanded him. Completely confused Obi-Wan looked at him. Just staring, he tried to understand what was going on. Did he want to force him to wear that overexpensive junk? It didn’t seem so. As much as he could see, the droids were taking everything.

With an angry hiss the red lightsaber came to life. “Or I will make you.” Vader threatened, taking a step closer.

Protectively the Jedi raised his hands. “Okay!” He said not wanting that thing any closer to himself. The Darkness the Sith was radiating was enormous and Obi-Wan feared the tendrils would drag him into it, if they came any closer. The malice biting at his feet was more than enough.

Slowly he pulled the half-shredded tunic over his head and threw it to the ground. The pants followed. A droid collected it immediately.

“Everything.” the Sith insisted.

Hesitantly Obi-Wan removed his boxers as well. The second they touched the floor, a droid collected them. Completely naked he stood in front of the window. Only the two Bacta patches at his neck and shoulder from the newest wounds were covering any skin. He was still way to skinny for what he was accustomed to. But in the last weeks he had put enough weight on to not look completely famished anymore. It just looked only a little unhealthy by now. The scars on his skin were healing. Most of the minor ones already blend into his light natural skin color, while some would require more Force healing to do so. At least three deep gashes would stay for the rest of his life. Two of them he received down in the dungeons here on Mustafar.

The red lightsaber retracted with a hissing sound as Vader stood there and stared at him wordlessly. The droids had cleared out by now, leaving no clothes whatsoever behind. For a moment Obi-Wan wondered what they had done in the bathroom. And then something new pushed itself into his mind, demanding his attention. Now the tendrils of dark force surrounding Vader didn’t just lash out in any direction. They seemed to align themselves, reaching for him. Trying to get closer.

Scared Obi-Wan pressed himself now against the window. He didn’t understand what was going on. Vader approached him again, stepping right into his personal space. As soon as he was near enough, his whole dark aura engulfed him. Drowning him again in all the hatred and anger and pain. But now there was something else. Greed. Craving. Desire. Yearning. It was so strong; it was threatening to overload his senses and he desperately tried to strengthen his mental shields.

But his concerns about that were completely wiped, when Obi-Wan saw the device the Sith Lord held in his left hand, that had been hidden by the cloak up to now. It was a metallic ring with some buttons on it and green lights flashing. He had seen this on the holonet. Always tied around a Force users’ neck. He himself had saved Jedi with that thing around their neck.

His eyes widened and he tried immediately to get away. He would rather die, than be submitted to this! With everything he had he stemmed himself against the Sith. The rage grew, but Vader managed to press him against the window, rendering him immobile almost instantly.

With a quiet click, the devise closed around Obi-Wans neck, beeping as it came to live. And everything was gone. His connection to everything was cleanly cut. The Darkness around him vanished, but so did the remaining Light. His balance was thrown off, he was blind and deaf, even his tactile sense seemed to abandon him. The air smelled like nothing and his mind skidded to a halt. Narrowing down on the dread that drenched him entirely.

Vader grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head violently back, to force his view at him as everything was falling apart. Screaming Obi-Wans hands shot out to clutch at something as he lost his footing finally. One hand found support on the window, the other one was clutching at Vaders forearm.

“From now on, you will do exactly as I say, old man.” The Sith threatened. “You will turn up for dinner when I request your attendance. You will shut up, unless you are spoken to and behave like the pet, that you are.”

With those words, he let go of him, turned around and marched out of the room, while the Jedi fell to the ground, trying to make sense of the world as it was now. Still. Dark. Silent. Dead.

It didn’t take long until Toobee turned up. When the doors opened Obi-Wan flinched violently.

“It’s okay, Obi-Wan.” It tried to calm him with a somewhat soothing voice, when it crouched down in front of him. “Maybe it would be more comfortable to lie on the bed rather than the floor.” When the droid touched him, it felt odd. The only thing he felt was the metal on his skin, not the driving circuits and flowing electricity beneath it. It was barely different to the smooth stone he lay on.

Carefully Toobee pulled him to his feet. Now Obi-Wan needed the support again. Somehow, he couldn’t balance his weight correctly on his own. There was much less information for him to make sense out of his movements. He staggered like a drunk. It didn’t help either, that he could barely see anything. The droid started again to fill the silence with chatter but the Jedi was so confused about everything, that he didn’t even get what the topic was. He barely sensed when they were close enough to the bed that he stepped onto the carpet and when he lay down on the bed, his hands didn’t even give him enough information about the material to discern between silk and satin. It could have been either. Ultimately it was irrelevant anyway. Like everything.

He opened his eyes to a barely lit room. He knew the lighting hadn’t changed. His perception had. Now it was barely enough to move without bumping into everything. But even that wouldn’t have had been a problem. He would have sensed any objects in his way even with his eyes closed. Now he hardly was aware of the bed he lay upon.

“Please get up, Obi-Wan.” Toobees voice piped up and made him almost jump out of his skin. Heavily breathing he turned to the droid. “It wasn’t my intention to scare you. I am sorry.” It apologized.

His heart calmed down after a few seconds and he lay down again, covering his face with one palm. “Please, Obi-Wan?” The droid urged him.

“What for?”

“Lord Vader has requested your presence for dinner.” He explained. A bitter laugh escaped Obi-Wans throat. So, Vader wanted to see him for dinner. Would he be seated at the table? Or was there a bowl for him at his feet as he was his pet now? 

“Tell him to go and kiss a Hutt.” He answered turning around and pulling the blanket over his head.

“I´d rather not.” The droid answered nervously. For a moment Obi-Wans conscience was debating whether he should oblige to spare Toobee a potential dismantling if Vader lost his grip. But then he convinced himself that the Sith wouldn’t destroy Toobee and more likely turn up here to again threaten Obi-Wan. But what in the galaxy could he do to him? There was nothing. He could start torturing him again, but in that case, he would at least be preoccupied with pain rather than this nothingness he felt all around him. And death would be by now a mercy anyway. He didn’t react to Toobees pleading and assumed that it had left again to inform its master when silence engulfed him again.

As he had expected Vader turned up mere minutes later. He didn’t feel him approach. But Toobee sounded different on the stone floor than the steps that entered his room. And by logic it had to be Vader, since no one else was on this stupid floor. Without any warning, the blanket was gone and something yanked him out of bed. He collided with the floor, hitting his head. He groaned, but was immediately grabbed again by the Force. Vader left the room, and dragged the Jedi with him to the dining room. They passed Toobee in the hall, who commented on inappropriate treatment of guests but was ultimately ignored by its owner.

Arrived at the dining room, everything was laid as it always had been. Even the tea was still there. Vader pulled him up again and practically threw him at his place, where Obi-Wan knocked over his glass of water, trying to hold on to something that would stop him from falling.

“Sit down.” The Sith ordered threateningly. His hands trembled lightly, as the Jedi obeyed, more because his legs were about to give out. He didn’t need to feel how wild the Force was swirling around them to know that his tormentor was furious. “I thought, I made myself clear, when I told you, that I expect you to do as I say.” He spat at him.

Obi-Wan observed the spilled water, that spread across the table. Some of it ran over the edge, falling on his naked thighs. The fear in his mind kept him from looking up and at hat mask. He tried to calm his breaths.

“I refuse.” He said with a more shaking voice than he had hoped. Still, he managed to ignore the rising panic, looked up and at that horrid mask. “I will not be your pet.” This came out with as much vigor as he felt about it. He would not play this sick game. For a moment nothing happened. They just stared at each other. But Obi-Wan didn’t back down.

“As you wish.” With these words, Vader seized him by his neck and pulled him up again, squeezing so hard the Jedi expected his spine to break any moment. Holding him like that, he pulled him along and back into the hall, while Obi-Wan had no other choice but to cling to the Sith out of lack of any balance in his position. When he was dragged into the elevator, he knew exactly where they were headed. Just a few moments later Vader threw him into a small room and locked the door behind him, leaving Obi-Wan in complete darkness.

He didn’t stand up again. What for? Instead, he just leaned with his back against the wall and stared into the dark. It was just a question of time until Vader would return to shackle him up to the ceiling again and resume his torture. Maybe he would even remove the Force blocking collar, so he would survive longer as his body would automatically use the Force to try to keep him alive as long as possible.

But nothing happened. When the door opened finally it was just a droid. It put a plate with food on the ground and left again. Obi- Wan ignored it. And when another droid replaced that plate with a new one hours later, he ignored that as well. His stomach was rumbling by then. After the plate was replaced once again, he reached for it. He gave in and hated himself for his weakness. At first, he counted how often he was receiving food as some measurement of time but he lost count at some point. The darkness around him seemed to close in and he waved around with his arms in front of him just to make sure, that the walls didn’t came any closer, no matter what his brain was telling him. The silence was deafening for a while until his mind started to spiral out of control. There was no way how he would hear clashing lightsabers otherwise. He saw movements in the corner of his eyes, but when he turned his head, there was nothing but the endless darkness.

He was in tears, when the door slid open again and a figure, he needed a moment to recognize as Vader, stepped inside. But he looked harmed. Part of his cloak was ripped off. The helmet showed clear signs of damage and was dented, the electronic plate on his chest was sparking lightly.

He kicked the plate aside, bent down, grabbed Obi-Wan by his upper arm and shoved him out of the small prison into the corridor, that led to the elevator. The Jedi fell. His feet weren’t able to keep up with this. He was just again pulled up. Vader was obviously impatient and dragged him along. When they were in the elevator, he let go of him.

“What do you want?” Obi-Wan asked, clutching at the wall for support and trying to get as much distance between them as possible.

“I have a proposal for you, Jedi.” He answered clearly self-satisfied.

“No.” Obi-Wan said. The elevator stopped, the doors slid open to reveal the hall he already knew. He was back at the floor for important visitors. Toobee stood at the side.

“I am so happy to see you again, Obi-Wan.” It greeted him anxiously. “I wasn’t allowed to check on you. I feared the worst.” It continued entering the elevator to offer help. But Obi-Wan refused and stared at Vader.

“No.” He repeated not moving.

Growling the Sith grabbed him again and dragged him into the hall. Meanwhile Toobee commented again how inappropriate Vaders behavior was as they approached the room, Obi-Wan had been held in. The doors slid open and Vader shoved him inside. Of course, the Jedi lost balance and fell to the floor, hurting his knees. But he was able to catch himself with his hands. Only then he noticed the other figure in the room.

Lying on the floor practically right beside him, was a young, unmoving woman. Her orange skin and white pattern on it, together with the blue and white Montrals and Lekku distinguished her as a Togruta.

“Ahsoka.” Obi-Wan whispered horrified and skidded to her. In horror he looked at her. She was heavily beaten up. Bruises were forming everywhere, half her skin was scorched and grazed, her clothes torn to shreds, a wound on her head already had stopped bleeding. Her right Lek was severed cleanly. This wound was cauterized. A force blocking collar was closed around her neck. But he felt her heart beating under his fingers.

“I assume, we have a deal.” Vader said.

Terrified Obi-Wan turned around, looking up at that nightmarish shape of the Sith Lord.

“Clean yourself up. You are filthy. I am awaiting you for dinner in half an hour.” Then he turned around and left.

As soon as the doors were shut, Obi-Wan turned back to Ahsoka, starting to examine her. Blood covered her face and nasty gashes tore open her skin. The gashes extended mainly over her left side, one seemed to have damaged her eye. He hoped it wasn’t deep enough to interfere with her sight. Her cheekbone was visible within all that mess, protruding weirdly within all that red chaos. The headwound looked like it had stopped bleeding some time ago. And he didn’t want to accidently reopen it without being prepared to deal with that.

His eyes moved down to the Lek on her right side. This would be still the most traumatic wound. It was cut just below her chin and Obi-Wan send a prayer to the Force that it was low enough to not have caused any brain damage. But even if it didn’t, it would be a very tender and painful process to adapt to this missing part of her nervous system. He didn’t even dare to touch that wound and turned his attention to her left shoulder and arm They were as ripped open as her face. Her arm was fractured in several places as was her left leg even though the skin there seemed mainly intact. No wound was bleeding. Not anymore. Her body probably had used the Force to stop it before Vader had put that collar around her neck. How would she even heal without access to the Force?

“Obi-Wan!?” Toobees voice cut through the horror in his thoughts. He had assumed it had left with its master. But it was crouching down on Ahsokas other side, looking at him. “I will take care of your friend, Obi-Wan. You need to take a shower.” It spoke.

The Jedi looked at it like it was having a short circuit. Its words made no sense.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” It urged. “Lord Vader won’t kill you, but your friend does not have this security.” It explained. It reached out and placed a metallic hand on his shoulder. “She is in good hands with me. I know how to take care of her species.”

Still not really understanding what was going on around him, the Jedi obeyed. With shaky legs he stumbled into the bathroom, holding himself upright only because he was able to support himself on the walls. His mind was a mess, his thoughts changing between horror and complete blankness. Vader wanted him cleaned and ready for dinner within half an hour. How much time did he have left?

Heavily breathing he stepped into the shower and turned it on. When he reached for the soap, there was none. Instead, he had something else in his hand, that he didn’t remember to have seen before. Confused he looked around, but there was no soap. Without further thinking he poured some of the content of that weird bottle into his hand. The characters on the bottle started dancing around every time he tried to read them. But it foamed. So, he used that. He reached out for support on the shower walls when his vision blurred. He didn’t get enough oxygen. Was the ventilation system broken?

No! No, he couldn’t just let his brain crash. Not now! He didn’t have any time for that. Closing his eyes, he forced his breathing to slow. Toobee would take good care of Ahsoka. Certainly, better than Obi-Wan would be able to. At least now that he hadn’t the Force to help her with the healing process. He just needed to compartmentalize. He had learned how to do that and that was no technic he needed the Force for. Well, not necessarily. For now, it was important to not give Vader any reason to harm Ahsoka further. That was the only thing that mattered now. Ahsoka’s safety was the most important right now!

When he opened his eyes again, his vision had cleared to some extent. Enough to shut off the shower and step out of it. Quickly he toweled himself down, before he left the bathroom again.

Toobee had placed Ahsoka on the bed and was tending to her wounds. “A droid came and brought you some clothes.” It said without looking up from its work. But his voice betrayed how much disdain he apparently felt about that. Said cloths were laid out on his bed, far enough away from his unconscious friend that it wouldn’t interfere. With one look at them, he realized how much Vader apparently used this situation to force him to play dress up. The fabric of his pants and tunic looked like silk. Both were dark colored, the tunic in deep blue, the pants in black. Black patterns on the sides of the shirt made it look elegant. Golden embroidery on the collar, hem and the sleeves made it look over the top. Too make it even better, there was a broad and elaborate belt, that could as well be out of pure gold the way it looked and felt in his hands. To flip the whole outfit completely over to being ridiculous, there was as heavy cloak as well. It was made out of velvet and colored the same deep blue as the tunic, covering his shoulders and reaching down to his shins. A stupid golden prominent brooch held it in place so it wouldn’t slip off his shoulders. And because there was not enough gold already plastered everywhere, a deep golden border decorated it. Black boots stood on the ground before the bed. At least those weren’t sparked up with gold. Still, they were probably worth more than any piece of clothing he had ever owned taken together.

When Obi-Wan had dressed, he felt like Naboo aristocracy had emptied their closets on top of him. He absolutely hated that crap. It felt wrong and uncomfortable. This wasn’t him. He would rather stay naked.

“You look stunning.” Toobees voice piped up. Obi-Wan looked at it dissatisfied. He felt like a dressed-up doll. Dressed up by a five-year-old who had lost any grip on reality. Or never even had come in contact with it.

“I hope he can hold himself back.” The droid mused and turned his attention back to his still unconscious patient. The Jedi didn’t comment on that. It was irrelevant, since Obi-Wan wouldn’t put up any fight over anything as long as Ahsoka would pay for his resistance. He rounded the bed to take a closer look at her, using the bedframe for support to steady his steps.

“How is she?” He asked. By now her face was obscured by Bacta patches and bandages. And the droid was cleaning the wounds on her shoulder.

“She should be in a Bacta tank.” he answered. “But she will survive. I think. I’m just not sure in what condition she will be.” He stretched out an arm to stop Obi-Wan from approaching. “You don’t want to stain your clothes. Lord Vader will be on edge as it is. Don’t do anything to make him lose control. You wouldn’t like it.” It warned.

Confused he stared down at the working droid. Why would Vader be on edge? He just got what he wanted. Obi-Wan wouldn’t put up a fight. The Sith should feel good about himself. But before he could ask, another droid entered the room. It was one of the housekeeping units. It bowed respectfully and announced that Lord Vader awaited his guest before it turned around again and vanished.

Obi-Wans chest seemed to constrict for a moment. Then he breathed deeply in and out, shoving any fear out of his mind as far as possible. This would be way easier, if he had meditated before. But compartmentalizing was all he had left. It had to be enough. Supporting his weight again on the bedframe, the walls and everything else he passed on his way, he was able to get to the dining room.

To his surprise the blinds were closed and no reddish light was drenching everything. Instead, lamps were bathing the room in warm light. Irritated he looked at Vader. The armor looked undamaged. The cloak was gone again. To his right Obi-Wans place was laid out as always. Steam rose from a cup sitting next to a glass of water. For a moment the Jedi felt like rooted to the spot at the entrance. Something was definitely wrong. What would he feel in the Force without that damn collar?

When Vader turned to him, he didn’t say anything, just stared back at him, while he was clutching the doorframe. After some time, Obi-Wan looked further around. There was nothing he could use as support to get to his seat. Would he be able to cross that distance on his own? Or would he fall right in front of the Sith Lord directly on his face? Before he could decide on his plan of action, Vader rose to his feet. With a few swift strides he was in front of him and Obi-Wan had to will himself not to flee.

“Let me help you, to your seat.” Vader said offering him his arm. This was just grotesque. Obi-Wan would rather cut of his hands than actually reach for him. But he swallowed his pride and kicked his screaming thoughts into oblivion as he accepted and wrapped an arm around his. When they were seated everything was back to normal and Vader resumed in staring at him, while he ate quietly.

The need to take his plate and smash it across Vaders stupid mask grew exponentially with every second. But he feared that would be interpreted as a revolt and taken out on Ahsoka. So, he pressed his hands onto the table to stop them from trembling as he chewed on a piece of vegetable. He looked back at Vader. Last time they sat here, Obi-Wan thought to have found proof of Anakin still being in there somewhere. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Anakin would have never done to his beloved Padawan what Vader had done to Ahsoka. As much as Anakin had refused to take on a Padawan, he almost instantly had loved Ahsoka and over time formed a deep bond with her. He had latched on to her far deeper than a Master should to his Padawan. Something not only Obi-Wan had noticed.

But then again, who was Obi-Wan to talk? He had left their bond completely open to Anakin until he had screamed at him to close it. He had never severed it, like he should have after Anakins Knighting. As their training bond would no longer be necessary. And Obi-Wan had felt so proud when he had cut his Padawan braid, that he had feared it would shine through and push itself into Anakins mind even through their closed doors. Anakin himself never had said anything, although he had known. Probably just indulging the old man, that had raised him. They had kept the doors closed and used only the usual ways of the Force to feel each other, like every Jedi did. When he had officially died for the Rako Hardeen mission, Anakin had tried to use that bond for the first time again. He had slammed himself at that closed door, trying to find something that would explain, why he felt his dead Master so clearly. Throwing everything at it to pry the seal open. But Obi-Wan had always been outstanding in his abilities to shield his mind from anything that might try to invade it. With and without using the Force. He hadn’t been called The Negotiator for nothing. Not even the Chosen One had been able to force himself in. But from this, Obi-Wan had known instantly how wrong it had been to not sever that bond. Differently to the other Jedi Anakin would feel his presence because of that bond even when Obi-Wan obscured his Force signature from anyone. But Anakin had felt, that his Master had not been dead. It must have had driven him mad. He must have had felt like going insane. Obi-Wan had not seen that coming.

Afterwards their fallout was so disastrous that their relationship never had fully recovered. Obi-Wan had tried to cut the bond after some time to give him piece, but it had grown so huge, thick and strong, even though they hadn’t used it, that Anakin would have had to help with the procedure. And he had told him to go kriff himself, when Obi-Wan had mentioned it and refused to talk about it further. Their bond would be going nowhere. Obi-Wan had felt it wither and scar over, deform and change slowly into something like an inflamed wound on his mind. Which had been worse than any torture he had ever endured. And still Anakin had refused to sever it. Like he wanted to punish him with it. Maybe that actually was the purpose of it. He had wanted Obi-Wan to feel how much he had grown to despise him. How much their relationship was rotten.

In the end, when they had stood within that lava, ready to kill, Obi-Wan still would have had left anything behind for him, if Anakin had only decided to trust him again. If Anakin had but asked for help, Obi-Wan would have had come running no matter the cost. He would have hidden him and Padmé somewhere until everything was back in order. Would have kept them from the consequences of his wrongdoings. Would have had shielded them with everything he´d had.

Obi-Wan was the poster model of too deep attachments to a Padawan.

It probably had been stupid to take Anakin as his own Padawan in the first place. He had been too old. Someone with more experience would have had been a better choice. He had just fucked up everything and turned a bright, loveable and compassionate child into a malice bleeding monster. Maybe he should compliment himself for that. Certainly not many people would have had been able to pull that off.

After he was finished, Vader accompanied him back to his room. Again, offering his arm and Obi-Wan didn’t dare to refuse. In his room, the Jedi used the first possibility to let go of the Sith Lord and went straight for Ahsoka, whose whole left side seemed to be covered up by bandages and patches.

“Lord Vader.” Toobee piped up and hurried to him, while Obi-Wan knelt down at the bed and took Ahsokas right hand in his, watching her motionless face. The contact should provide him with some information about her status. Anything. He should feel her lifeforce, her state of mind, the severity of her wounds. And he should be able to help her with her healing, nudging the Force to all the right places and concentrating it there, as well as calm her mind, give her the assurance that he was at her side. After all, they had formed a bond, too, during the Clone Wars. Nothing like the bond he had had with Anakin, but more something like a usual Padawan-Master bond. Like between him and Qui-Gon. The Togruta always had joked about how she had two masters instead of one and how envious some of the other Padawans were, that those two of all people were The Negotiator and the Hero With No Fear.

But now there was nothing. He felt only the warmth of her hand in his and even that was kind of dulled. He was useless.

“Step aside.” Vader commanded all of the sudden right beside him, startling him.

“We are going to put her in the Bacta tank.” Toobee supplemented before Obi-Wan could make any sense of the situation on his own. But he didn’t move. Instead, he looked up at the Sith Lord. He didn’t want him to touch her.

“You can’t carry her yourself.” Vader snarled. Which was very true. He wouldn’t be able to carry her for some time to come.

“And I could only drag her along. In her condition, I wouldn’t recommend that. And the Force… well let’s say I wouldn’t let Lord Vader levitate anyone I care about, who was in this delicate state.” Toobee said, earning an annoyed huff from said Sith.

Against his screaming mind, Obi-Wan moved over and let the Sith scoop the young woman up into his arms. It was irritating how careful he was as he slid his arms under her knees and her back, adjusted her to fit against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, before standing up again. Without another word he marched towards the exit and Obi-Wan was about to panic, when Toobee offered him his help. Grateful he grabbed on to him and they followed.

Back in the elevator it went up. When the doors opened, they stepped into some kind of huge round shaped hall. It was as black and sterile as the floor below. Some kind of bridge, more like a broad plank, led to a circular platform and from there another bridge to a massive door. Reddish light shone up from below, and Obi-Wan tried not to think about its origin. He looked down to the floor, trying to shut it out, and followed Toobees lead. The huge doors opened as they approached leading them into a smaller hall with several doors. Vader turned right and they ended up in a room with a Bacta tank at its center. A huge black table stood on one side. Other furniture was stuffed with repair parts and medical stuff.

The Sith laid Ahsoka down on the table. Also, very carefully, minding to set her head down slowly. Toobee left Obi-Wans side as soon as they reached her and started to remove all the bandages and patches, murmuring how much of a waste of time it had been to wrap her up, while Vader went over to the tanks console to prepare it.

A little lost Obi-Wan looked around. After a few minutes, he recognized some of the spare parts. Those were obviously belonging to the hideous black suite. Was this Vader’s personal medical chamber? Like Toobee was his personal medical unit? He had heard the droid and its master bickering about his time in the tank. Had that been here too? Had he been here? Was there no medical station in this ugly piece of a fortress? There had to be more people. As Toobee already told him there had been guests. Surely there were guards here somewhere. Caretakers? Servants? But Obi-Wan had never seen anyone. Not even, when Vader had dragged him down and thrown him back into his cell. Just droids that hadn’t seemed more than cleaners with the bare minimum of computing capacity to do their assigned jobs.

With great care Toobee and Vader strapped Ahsoka into the tank, before they filled it with Bacta. The liquid was so murky, he could barley see her form anymore. “The concentration is too high.” Obi-Wan remarked. He should be able to see her.

“No.” Toobee retorted turning around to face him. “The wound on her Lek is very disquieting. She should have been allowed to a Bacta tank immediately.” It looked accusingly on its master, before its attention returned to the Jedi. “I assure you, Obi-Wan the effects from Bacta overdose are nothing in comparison to what damage might manifest, if we treat her within only the recommended guidelines.”

Staring at Toobee the Jedi leaned back against the table. So that meant she actually suffered from brain damage? What would she be like, when she came to? He had seen Twi´lek and Togruta with damaged Lekku often enough during the Clone Wars. He had seen how some of them had ended up as whimpering messes not able to deal with the constant anguish and no medication strong enough to ease their pain without killing them outright. Cases, that had lost the ability to process information coming in through their senses correctly, memory loss, sleeping disorders, seizures, coma, personality disorders and changes, emotional instability, constant disorientation, aggravating depression.

Anakin had seen it, too. He had known exactly what consequences could arise if he cut off Ahsoka’s Lek. He had known exactly what he would possibly reduce her to, if he injured her like that.

He stared at Vader who was bickering with his droid again. But although they stood just two meters away, Obi-Wan wasn’t able to hear anything. Blood rushed so loudly in his ears, that it shut everything else out. His hands gripped painfully the tables edge. His teeth grinding together.

“Remove our collars.” He almost ordered, disrupting the quarrel in front of him. It shut both of them up. He sounded calm but determined. His voice way steadier and more confident than he thought he would be able to muster.

“What did you just say?” Vader turned towards him. 

“She needs Force healing. And I can treat her. Remove her collar so her body will use the Force automatically. After she will be removed from the tank, I will resume with the healing. She will not pose any threat to you for some time to come and I will not endanger her in any way, by trying to flee or oppose you, as you well know.” He explained in the very same way, not letting Vader’s sharp tone interfere with his resolve.

The Sith Lord stared at him, while his droid seemed to look kind of nervously back and forth between both of them. Obviously not liking what was happening.

“Lord Vader, I beg you…” It started when its master stepped forward and was shut up again by a barely noticeable gesture. Like it didn’t want to witness what was about to happen, it turned back around and occupied itself again with the tank console.

The Sith invaded Obi-Wans personal space again. But the Jedi lifted his head and held the eye contact. Or at least he thought he did, since he couldn’t look through the tinted material where the eyes would be behind. It was quite much easier to keep a cool head without feeling the suffocating Darkness that was undoubtedly swarming around him right now.

“I hardly think you have anything to bargain with, Negotiator.” Vader said. Pure Venom dripping from his lips with every word.

“Don’t I?” Obi-Wan retorted defiantly. “You went through the trouble to hunt her down just to have something that would give you control over me. How much control do you think will remain, if she turns up braindead?” It started to be very hard to not fall over the table, as Vader by now stood so close, he practically pressed himself against him. But the Jedi managed to prop himself up with his hands on the table and push against the weight. “As long as Ahsoka will be fine, you can essentially do to me whatever you want, with little chance of encountering any resistance. If she dies… well, you should know better than to underestimate me. Even with that collar around my neck.” 

For seconds there was only Vader’s rasping breathing. Suddenly he grabbed Obi-Wans throat, pressed it hard enough that pain shot through his spine, then he shoved him back and slammed him into the table. A painful wince escaped Obi-Wans lips and his face contorted in agony as his vision blurred. Faintly he heard a ripping sound and felt some tugging at his tunic. That overprized crap didn’t even survive a small scuffle.

“You think it wise to provoke me, old man?” Vader’s voice was little more than a hateful hiss. But Obi-Wan was very certain with his situation. The choking hand on his throat was still there, but it was little more pressure than just the weight of it would put on it. There was no trouble to breath. He would not kill him. Something kept him from it. He nearly did down in the dungeons and something must have happened there. Somehow, he must have realized at that point, that he didn’t want him dead. Apparently, he even didn’t want him staying in his cell being tortured. Obi-Wan had no idea why that was. Anakin had mostly resented him even before his Fall. Maybe he really just wanted to show his superiority and humiliate him. But if that was a strong enough motivation, Obi-Wan would use it to his advantage. His head was still spinning from the impact on the metal surface and he didn’t trust his tongue to pronounce any words correctly right now. So, he just put a confident grin on his lips. He knew, he had the upper hand here. Vader was just throwing temper tantrums because he realized it, too.

When his vision cleared again, he saw the ugly helmet looming over him. Obi-Wan still lay on the table. His legs were spread and Vader stood between them, as he was bend over him. The table was high enough, so the Jedis feet didn’t have any contact to the floor in this position. Slowly the gloved hand let go of his throat and trailed down, lingering at his chest, where he could feel the black leather directly on his skin, as the shirt was apparently ripped there.

A loud and unnerving sound pierced through the silence. Obi-Wan flinched. And so did Vader, who retracted his hand like he had burned himself on Obi-Wans skin, then turned around and marched over to Toobee, who shut off the noise even before its master had arrived. It looked back at Obi-Wan. The Jedi was pushing himself up again.

“What’s with the tank!?” He asked staring worried at the fuzzy figure floating in it.

“It´s fine.” The droid assured him. “I just pushed a button with my elbow accidentally.” It explained which seemed very much like a feeble excuse. Then it turned back to its master, talking quietly with him. But everything did seem fine. What the hell was going on?

“I will escort you back to your room, Obi-Wan.” Toobee approached him.

“No!” He refused instantly. “I’m not leaving her here!” He tried to evade the droid’s hands, but it was far more agile than he had expected and closed one hand around his upper arm. Before Obi-Wan even realized he was standing on his feet again, he was dragged out of the room with a strength he hadn’t expected from Toobee. “Let got!” The Jedi demanded.

“Don’t fight me on this, Obi-Wan” Toobee warned as he by now half carried him since Obi-Wan was definitely putting up a fight. But it was to no avail. Soon they were back in the elevator.

“Why are you… he didn’t even order you to remove me!” The Jedi complained, still trying to get out of the unyielding grip.

“No. I am intelligent enough on my own to get you out of the danger zone.” Now the droid sounded indignant and exasperated at the same time. “Don’t be afraid for your friend. He has no interest in harming her.” It added.

“What are you talking about? He wouldn’t have killed me.”

“You are right. He wouldn’t have killed you.” Toobee confirmed.

Bewildered Obi-Wan looked at the droid. He had stopped to fight it. There was no chance to succeed. It released him when they entered his room, shoving him gently inside.

“I told you not to tempt him.” Toobee reminded him of his warning before he had left for dinner. “You were very lucky I was present. Don’t do that again!” Then the door slid shut and the green light on the panel turned red.

Frustrated Obi-Wan banged against the door. Toobee had actually locked him in here!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :)  
> I plan to upload the next chapter by sunday next week. But after that my Master course starts at uni and I don´t know how fast I will be able to write the last one. But I am sure it won´t take too long. I´m to absorbed in this ;)  
> I hope you like this one as I had much fun writing it. And most of the questions you had down in the comments are answered in it. So, have fun :)

It took hours before the light at the door turned green again. Obi-Wan had stared at it relentlessly from the bed. He had tried to meditate but it proofed difficult without the pull of the Force to shut his mind up. He hadn’t learned it any other way, although he knew meditation itself was nothing only Force users could engage in. He had never asked himself before, how meditation without it would feel like. Or if it was even comparable to each other.

“I hope you were able to sleep, Obi-Wan.” Toobee greeted him.

“How is Ahsoka?” He ignored the question. If he had any hope to be able to get to that tank, he would be out the door already.

“Better?” The droid said in a manner that sounded more like a question than an answer. However, before Obi-Wan could lose his mind over that, Vader walked into the room behind Toobee. He carried the undressed Togruta in his arms. Her left arm and leg were bandaged and splinted. A Bacta patch covered half her face as well as the spot on her head, that he had seen wounded. The stump of her lek was dressed with a Bacta patch, too.

When the Jedi tried to jump up, he found himself in an iron grip. His body didn’t move one bit. He glared at Vader, harsh words already on his tongue, but he wasn’t able to move even his mouth.

Ahsoka was carefully set down on the bed. Her head rolled to Obi-Wans side, as Vader arranged her injured leg and arm with seemingly great care. Her Force blocking collar was gone. Then Vader rounded the bed again, moved over to Obi-Wan and sat down on the edge on the bed, which was more or less in front of him. The Sith remained silent, staring at him. The Jedi still wore those ridiculous clothes. The only piece that Obi-Wan had tossed off was that velvet cape. He didn’t care about the rest. And as the shirt was ripped now, it actually wasn’t as uncomfortable anymore as in the beginning. Apparently, it had been just too tight. 

“The Bacta tank was applied quite late.” Toobee started. “After the intense exposure to Bacta, she healed quite a bit, but it would had been more effective, if it had happened earlier.” Again, it looked accusingly at its master. “And now we can’t keep her in there anymore, as the toxic effects would build up and negate the benefits.”

“If you cross me in any way, she will lose another of her lekku.” Vader threatened, reached up and removed the Force blocking collar.

Life itself poured back into Obi-Wan. Light, Dark, the pulse of the Galaxy, all back in his head, his chest, his hands and everywhere it was able to latch onto him. The swirls of the living Force around him so obvious and explicit as ever. His eyes seeing again, blinded by the light around him all of the sudden, his ears invaded by the rasping sound of Vaders respirator, the buzzing of the machinery on his chest, the distinct smell of Bacta forcing itself to his attention, the fine and soft fabric on his skin, he felt every rip in it now.

Instantly Obi-Wan threw up his shields, breaking the Force grip that was holding him in place with ease and protecting his mind at the same time, barely able holding himself back from throwing the looming Darkness off the bed. Vader’s aura was calm, his tendrils coiling around him again, not polluting the floor with malice. But still, Obi-Wan felt excitement. But not the bad kind. More like the Sith was… happy?

Without caring anymore, the Jedi moved over to Ahsoka, who lay on the other side of the huge bed. His body obeyed him without protest. No balance problems, no giving in joints, no tiered muscles. He wanted to pull the Togruta into his arms with as much body contact as possible, as this would make the whole process easier instead of channeling everything through just a small contact point. He wouldn’t have had to deform his own Force signature much more that way. But he didn’t dare to move her around until he had examined in what condition she really was in now.

So, he sat down beside her and took her right hand into his. Her warmth spread through his skin. It was colder than it should have been and he summoned the discarded cloak on the floor with a small gesture to his side, covering the young woman with it. He would wrap the blanket around her as soon as Vader got up from the bed. Then he closed his eyes, bend over her and pulled up her hand until her fingers touched his lips. Concentrating on the bond between them, he tried to ignore the withered and scarred but still present monstrosity that appeared too.

He shoved it aside and opened the door to the link between him and Ahsoka. When he gently stroked against her end of the link, he felt her confusion first, followed by overwhelming joy and relief and the next moment the barrier was gone and he felt her Force signature wrapping itself around his, welcoming him like a long-lost friend. Obi-Wan indulged himself for a moment. It felt good. Her mind seemed to be alright. He kept the contact to her mind, while spreading his own Force signature over her, examining her wounds. She seemed again confused and a bit riled, but he accomplished it to calm her again. The trust between them was very helpful here, since she knew he would never do anything to harm her and everything to help her, so she didn’t try to kick him out again, when he used the link to probe and prod at her.

Soon he had a good idea of what was going on with her. The wounds on her skin would likely leave faint scars, maybe not, if he continued to help her with the healing. But her bones should heal again without problems. Her eye was not damaged. Scraped, but the Bacta had taken care of that. He felt the new formed tissue was adjusting quite well. Her ribcage had been all but crushed, with a punctured lung on her left side. The ribs were still fractured, but in a healing process. More important was, that she still had problems breathing as two of the pulmonary lobes seemed to have quite a lot of scarred and destroyed alveoli. That was definitely something he would need to take care of. He went up with his examination and concentrated on her headwound. It seemed, whatever had hit her there, had caused a sever concussion that had seriously rattled her brain as well as fractured the bone. The tissue there was still sensitive and heavily contused. When he went on to the injured lek, he needed a moment, to even be able to grasp the extend of the damage. Uncoordinated firing patterns wreaked havoc, trying to adjust to the loss of part of their nervous system. But almost alleviated Obi-Wan realized Ahsokas brain hadn’t been damaged directly there. But it was close. Just an inch higher and Anakin would have had scraped her brain. This was going to be the source of excruciating pain for the Togruta when she would wake up again. Following that her injuries contain a lot of strained muscles and tendons, but those were healing well and would regain their functionality.

These results of his examination left Obi-Wan with the question, on which point he should concentrate. The lek would be extremely painful, but not life-threatening. Other than the concussion and the lungs, which were quite severe injuries.

When he tried to resurface, Ahsoka’s mind grabbed instinctively onto him, not wanting him to go. He soothed her as good as he was able to, unclenching her grip on him. She was in no condition for him to rip her out of unconsciousness. Not for days. He felt how she tried to follow him into his mind. But he blocked her way. His mind was nowhere he wanted someone in such a fragile state. She would not understand what exactly their situation was, but she would feel, that it was worrisome. And she had enough problems of her own.

Toobee stood right in front of him. Its head crooked to the side, watching intently. Obi-Wan started to list, what Ahsoka’s state was and the droid recommended for everything a list of substances that should help. When the droid hurried off to get whatever was requested, Obi-Wan turned around to find Vader still sitting on the other side of the bed. The Darkness still clinging to him, moving around his form in thick waves.

“Just an inch, and you would have injured her brain.” He said.

The dark waves quickened in their movements. For a moment it looked like they would spill onto the bed, but then they returned to the Sith. Obi-Wan intensified his perception. He still saw the rage, the hatred and pain, that always clung to him. But there was again more. Some kind of greed, it seemed. Longing. Want. Jealousy?

“I am expecting you for lunch.” Vader said standing up.

“Lunch?” Obi-Wan repeated. Since when did he want to see him for lunch?

“That is not up for discussion.” The Sith droned, stared a moment at him, as if daring him to contradict. But then he turned around and left the room. The panel beside the door stayed green.

The following days were full of exhausting Force healing Ahsoka and silent creepy lunches as well as dinners with Darth Vader. Which weren’t any less exhausting. Didn’t he have to do stuff? Like terrorizing the galaxy? Why was he constantly here? At least he stopped dressing Obi-Wan up like a doll. The next clothes he had receive for their first lunch, were made of light-colored cotton without heavy overuse of any embroidery. Just some patterns along the sleeves. An no gold at all. They still looked kind of expensive, but not by any means in the same category as the silken disaster. And they weren’t such a tight fitting. His wardrobe was filled again with clothes that resembled this style. Ahsoka received clothes as well. They were different from his, more elaborate, more fancy, but still, no dress weaved of pure gold. Which Obi-Wan had had half expected. But there were silken dresses.

Why did Vader even do that? He had severed one of her leks. And now he sent her overprized clothes? Obi-Wan knew, that Ahsoka, like Anakin, had liked sometimes to wear something nice. But what was going on in that head? Did he feel bad about all of this? At first Obi-Wan had tried to talk to the Sith, but he had reminded him, that part of their arrangement was, that he would shut up unless he was spoken to. And Vader never said anything.

More than a week later, when Ahsoka moaned Obi-Wan turned his full attention towards her. He had pulled her into an embrace, to surround her with his Force signature easier. She sat more or less between his legs, wrapped in the blanket, her back against his chest, her head on his shoulder, while he sat with crossed legs on the bed and leaned at the headrest. Yesterday he had stopped to inject her with sedatives. It was time to show her in what situation she was in. Holding her hand, he looked down at her face. Her eyes fluttered. Then big blue eyes shimmered through the eyelids and looked unfocused for a moment.

“Master?” She murmured confused. It was endearing how she still called him that so often. She had left the Jedi Order long ago out of reasons Obi-Wan had more than understood. He himself had failed her at that point. Utterly. And she had turned her back at them after that. It had crushed Anakin to lose her. It had crushed Obi-Wan too. But unlike his former Padawan, the Jedi Master had been used to keep a cool exterior and objectify everything. It had helped him to protect his sanity during the war, when people he had grown to care for had died left and right. Sometimes it had been difficult to differentiate between him actually not feeling anything and just pushing it automatically away to keep going. It had become some kind of reflex. Emotions had been a luxury he had not been able to afford. And he had always been good at shielding his mind, locking unpleasant things away to deal with them when he had the time. Alone.

“Welcome back, child.” He answered, a warm smile plastered on his face. Her eyes widened. She tried to sit up, but Obi-Wan held her down with gentle force. “You are hurt. Calm down. I will explain.”

Disoriented she looked around, but did not try to escape his grip. He felt the trust between them. When her eyes returned to him, tears were in them. “I searched everywhere for you.” She whispered, her hand returning the grip on her fingers. “You didn’t show up. I knew you were alive, but then the link died all of a sudden and…” Her voice trailed off and only her lips kept moving. She must have thought that he had died, when Vader had closed the collar around his neck and stopped any bonds. He remembered how it had felt like when Qui-Gon had died. The link had been gone instantly, but the side of his door had remained for some time, before it had slowly faded and disappeared into nothing. Obi-Wan had used to dive down into his mind and linger in its presence whenever he had needed to think about how to deal with Anakin in certain situations. Drawing inspiration and remembering how Qui-Gon had dealt with him.

Those doors always remained longer, the deeper the connection to the dead person had rooted. Qui-Gons door had disappeared a year after his death. Before Anakin and Ahsoka it had been the deepest link he had had to any person around him. A training bond usually reached deep into the minds of Master and apprentice. Which was the reason why it was expected to be cut after rising to knighthood. It would be just a source of attachment. A normal, light friendship bond would form in its place.

The disappearance had thrown Obi-Wan into desperation and forced him to shut the open bond to Anakin, as he had feared it would influence him. He had not been able to hide that devastating feeling behind one of his shields good enough to stop it from seeping into their link. It had been late at night, when he had discovered that the door was gone. His Padawan had been in tears when he had come to him just minutes after that, pleading for him to tell him what he had done wrong and how he could fix it. Apparently, the disconnection from his Master had ripped him out of his sleep. Insecure as he had been back then, the child had assumed it had been his fault, that Obi-Wan had closed his door. It had taken really long to make Anakin understand why he had disconnected himself. And the child had fallen asleep beside him, his tiny hands clenched into the fabric of his tunic and his flushed and from tears swollen face pressed against his chest, like he had been afraid that Obi-Wan would be gone, if he didn’t hold onto him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make it to the checkpoint.” He pressed a kiss onto Ahsoka’s fingers. “I am afraid, finding me, was a bad idea.”

“Vader… he threw a TIE-Fighter at me. Where…?”

“His fortress. We are prisoners.” He explained.

She looked around again. Her eyes lingered on the green lighted door panel. Her eyebrows furrowed. “Prisoners?” She repeated and moving her head slightly, her eyes darted back to his face, examining it thoroughly this time. “You look good.” The crease between her eyebrows deepened. She was right. In comparison to his state before, he did look good. Or at least, he looked like he would take care of himself, instead of ignoring his hair growth and the state of his clothes, which, as Ahsoka had stated often enough, had always made him look like a homeless beggar instead of a powerful Jedi Master.

“I don’t get it either.” He admitted. He gave her a quick summary about what had happened. Not very detailed, just the important points. That he had been tortured and then had woken up here without any explanation. The weird dinners in silence, and now using her to press him into behaving. He mentioned the force blocking collars and felt her heartrate picking up. She knew about those things as much as he had known before being subjected to one himself. It had been something knew. Usually, things like that just stopped Jedi from concentrating enough to call on the Force. But this thing cut them cleanly off. Like subduing the Midichlorians somehow, turning Force-users into regular people. Or at least he thought that’s how regular people felt like. Blind and deaf and disconnected. No wonder so many of them just saw their own needs and surroundings. They didn’t feel what was going on around them. What they caused with their actions.

“Maybe he missed you.” She mused and nuzzled back comfortably into his shoulder, drifting slowly back into sleep. But it made very clear, that she knew exactly who Darth Vader was. And it didn’t seem to be shocking. Her heartrate was dropping again. She had known for a while now. “He always felt strong about you.” She mumbled.

Yeah. Strong rejection. Resentment. Embarrassment. Annoyance. Anger. Disapproval. Frustration. That was nothing that would explain why Vader wouldn’t just torture him to death. There had to be something, Obi-Wan hadn’t jet thought of. And he needed to find it. Now that Ahsoka woke up, Vader might as well try to get information out of her. Would he try to invade her mind? Forcing out everything she knew? Would it be enough information to eradicate the resistance? Would he torture her as he had tortured him? Obi-Wan didn’t doubt that Ahsoka would rather die than give him any information. But was she strong enough to hold her own against someone as powerful as him? Maybe Obi-Wan just played into Vader’s hands by rescuing her. Had this been the whole purpose? To attract Ahsoka somehow, now that she had known he might be Vader’s prisoner? Someone important in the resistance, who might not be strong enough to resist him?

Obi-Wans grip around her tightened. Had that been his purpose? Would Vader kill him now, that he had a new Jedi? Would he do the same to her down in the dungeons? Did he make a huge mistake with this? Should he have not tried to heal her? Did he just play into Vader’s hands?

When Toobee entered the room it almost made him jump. It announced dinnertime and went over to Ahsoka, to watch over her, while he would be gone. Before Obi-Wan got up, he nudged his friend into deeper sleep, so she would not wake up. Calculating his chances, he took his time to get to the dining room. The blinds were closed and barred out any light from the outside, so the room was illuminated by the lamps and bathed in warm light. As always Vader sat at the head of the table, without his cloak and no food for himself, while the place to his right was laid with a now quite tasteful meal, a glass of water as well as a cup of tea. For breakfast Toobee had started some days ago to lay out some kind of buffet for him in here so he would be able to pick whatever he wanted. And over the course of the day there stood always different beverages on it for him to pick whenever he liked.

Quietly the Jedi sat down at his place. His food had improved largely in comparison to the mushed cardboard. Now it consisted of delicacies only wealthy nobles would be able to afford on a daily basis, rich with nutrition and taste. Even a dessert always stood beside his plate now. Mostly exotic fruit or sweet dishes he had only known from fancy parties he had been forced to attend within his duties as a Jedi or when Padmé had asked him and he hadn’t been able to refuse without feeling bad. Obi-Wan never had been someone to completely deny himself a tasty meal, when it had been offered. And there was a reason, why he had frequented Dex´s dinner instead of eating always at the Jedi temple. But as he looked at the food before him, he almost wrinkled his nose. This reeked of decadence, while he had seen almost every day people die from hunger after the republic had fallen. He himself had been part of that social class for approximately a year after the fall. His resolve to hold himself together had only lasted until he had delivered Luke to his aunt and uncle and ensured their safety. After that he had just fallen apart. Living on the streets, eating scrapes and bits and garbage, nearly starving himself to death when he hadn’t been motivated enough to search for any food. When Bail had found him, Obi-Wan had been reduced to a mumbling broken piece of insanity, barely remembering who he was and trying to force what he remembered to just leave. It had been a wonder the Senator had even recognized him below all that dirt that had clung to him.

“I noticed Ahsoka woke up.” Vader began to speak and almost startled Obi-Wan with this. He looked up. Vader never talked to him. Intensifying his shields, the Jedi tried to read his intentions. As always lately, the tendrils around him were calm. Almost peaceful.

So, the Sith had felt Ahsoka waking up. Did that mean he would take her away now?

Trying not to show his concern, Obi-Wan turned to the Sith Lord. His aura was still quiet. Tendrils of Darkness coiling around his form in a kind of tranquil way.

“She is still weak.” The Jedi answered. Something had to be the case here. Vader had never spoken a word at these creepy dinners. If he did now, here was definitely a point.

“She will be for some time to come.” Vader said and some of his tendrils moved agitated, before settling down again.

“I agree.” This was some kind of trap.

“Now that she is stable, you will heal me next.” The Sith commanded.

What was he even talking about? Had Ahsoka injured him more severely than it had looked like? He didn’t seem to feel any different. There was pain he radiated, but that was hardly new. Furrowing his eyebrows Obi-Wan stretched out his senses, reaching for the Sith beside him. But he felt the blockage and the anger that rose immediately as Obi-Wan dared to brush against Vader’s Focre signature.

“I am no healer, as you very well know.” Obi-Wan said cautiously, only waiting for the other man to lash out.

“You just proofed otherwise, old man.” The Sith retorted, anger rising still.

“I used the bond between her and me. My Force healing would have had been futile without it.”

“Then you will use ours to do the same.”

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together, willing the feeling of that huge inflamed wound in his mind to shut up, as it reared in agony the second it had been spoken of. Not because Vader prodded at it. Because the Jedis own attention snapped back to it, giving it ground to rear its ugly head. Why would the Sith even need healing. He seemed fine enough. And his droid would have had treated him, if he hadn’t been.

“It is dead. And I don’t suppose you are foolish enough to think there would be a way to form a new one.” Plus, it would take time to develop. Lots of time. Anakin had never been the patient type and Obi-Wan doubted Vader to behave differently in that matter.

“It is not dead.” Vader disagreed.

“It might as well be.” The Jedi snapped as the pain about that inflamed wound in his mind grew. But he knew how much of a lie that was. If it had been dead, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But its withered, scarred, inflamed condition was rendering it useless anyway. So, from that point of view, it actually might as well be dead.

“We can force it open again.”

A shudder ran down Obi-Wans spine. Even thinking of this abomination in his mind was turning his stomach. He had no doubt to be able to keep Vader out or shield certain information from him, even with a functioning link between them, but his presence would be a constant vibration in his head. One that would at all times remind him how much he had failed his Padawan. But the bigger problem at hand was, that he didn’t have any doubt about being able to tear open that inflamed wound, as well. If Anakin put his mind to it, and Obi-Wan would pound at his own side of the scarred link, reviving it would be possible. After all, apparently Vader had opened his door already down in the dungeons as he had tried to tear through Obi-Wans.

“I am not out for any of your precious Jedi secrets, Kenobi. Keep them. But you will heal me.” Vader ordered angry.

“Even if we would succeed to reestablish a link between us, you would need to let me into your mind.” The Jedi reminded him of how that ability of his was functioning. Of course, he would be able to heal some damage without a link, but that kind of damage would be no problem for a Bacta tank either. If Vader really had some kind of health problem his droid wasn’t able to resolve with the medical equipment they had at their disposal, Obi-Wan wouldn’t have a chance to deal with it without using a Force bond.

“I can deal with that.”

Kind of frustrated, and kind of scared Obi-Wan thought to himself, that he himself wasn’t able to deal with that. Not only he would have his former depraved Padawans Force signature radiating through his head constantly, no, the Force healing itself would force him into that mind. Into a mind full of Darkness and malice while still resembling enough that one of his former Padawan. Would Obi-Wan even be enough in control of himself to not go crazy about that?

“We will commence once you are finished.” The Sith Lord announced, causing the Jedi to tense up and stare wide eyed at him. “Toobee will remain at Ahsoka’s side. And don’t think he hasn’t any orders how to deal with her, should you decide to test my patience.”

Which Obi-Wan was instantly. His esophagus seemed to constrict as his stomach turned. He sat down the fork willing his heartbeat to slow before the food already eaten would resurface.

“I assure you the disgust is mutual.” Vader sneered and the Jedi leaned away as the thick black tendrils around him came to life and lashed out. He pushed himself out of reach.

“Fine.” Anger took over again and the Sith stood up. “In this case, we will start at once.” With the force he grabbed the Jedi and pulled him up to his feet, who staggered for a moment and then caught himself with a sidestep to prevent himself from falling over.

Vader walked to the exit, but the Jedi didn’t move. His mind was racing. How would he get out of this? He felt it would be crushing to join their minds again. Something would just blow up in his face when he did. Maybe that would be the last straw that would completely make him lose his mind.

He had a bad feeling about this.

Standing in the door, Vader turned around and looked at him. One gesture with his hand, and Obi-Wan felt the invisible pull. Without much effort he broke it before it had the chance to influence his body in any means. Sending a warning wave back at his attacker, he held Vader’s gaze defiantly. He wasn’t weak anymore. If they fought here, where Obi-Wan didn’t have to look out much for bystanders or people who were hiding or trapped, this would not necessarily end in his defeat. Vader was a powerful opponent. But Obi-Wan was powerful too, and he knew how to handle his former Padawan. But what would he achieve by starting a fight here? Would he be able to win it, gather Ahsoka and flee? Maybe two out of three. Something would go wrong. He knew it. It was a whispering in the back of his mind that warned him to rush into a decision he would regret later. There was no way he would abandon Ahsoka. Ever. And to consider an escape would be pointless before the young woman would be able to at least walk on her own.

“Are you sure, you want to do this?” Vader asked sounding half amused, half angry, turning completely around and facing him directly. And Obi-Wan wanted it so badly. He wanted to send that humane shaped Darkness flying into the hallway, crushing him against the opposite wall and burry it under masses of that hideous black stone of which this hideous building consisted. He wanted to get off this cursed planet and never even think of it again. He wanted to hide again in those nameless streets where no one knew him until he would fade into oblivion and die like the scum that he was without anyone paying attention to it. And he felt it. He just knew that he would succeed with this. He saw himself dying in the gutter of some broken planet. Alone and at last free from his torturing thoughts and memories and regrets. Giving up. Fading into nothing.

But he would have to leave Ahsoka. He would have to leave her to a fate of pain and despair. Here. Dying at the hands of her former Master who would slice her up in furious anger and reduce her to a whimpering lump hanging from the ceiling in one of the tiny prison cells for months before she would be able to become one with the Force.

Was he willing to submit his second Padawan to the mercy of his first one? Just to be allowed to die? To end his own misery?

Breathing deeply in and out again, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, forcing his mind to a halt, feeling the Force around himself. It was in a rage. The whirls of the Force were crushing against each other, agitated by the feelings and intentions of the two powerful Force users in the room. Ready to bring down the whole fortress in the process. He felt how the surface of the water and tea on the table were swirling in anticipation, influenced by the built-up tension. How the windows were vibrating lightly, ready to burst with the first forceful blow, that the Sith and the Jedi would exchange.

“Yes.”, he answered, but unclenched his fists of which he didn’t even remember clenching them in the first place. “But I won’t.” Opening his eyes again he looked at Vader, who still stood in the doorframe. Unmoved. “Lead the way.” Obi-Wan added and rounded the table to catch up to the other man. For a moment Vader stared at him, and the Jedi stared back, defiance sparking in his eyes. Then the Sith Lord turned around and moved to the elevator. Together they drove up again and back to that floor with the Bacta tank. But now, as they entered the circular room they walked straight and into another room, that Obi-Wan didn’t know until now. There was a weird round formation dominating the whole interior. And nothing more. A huge window was on the far end, but the blinds were down.

Without any hesitation Vader moved to that round shaped thing and punched something into a control panel there. All of the sudden it moved. The top of the round formation rose and revealed some kind of tiny room within. A chair stood in the middle with little space around it. The Sith sat down on it, gesturing Obi-Wan to get inside as well.

Incredulous the Jedi eyed that thing. What in the stars was that supposed to be? The inner space was barely enough for a second person. And the mere thought of being locked in there with the Sith, so close to each other made his chest constrict and his windpipe close up.

“Now, old man.” The Sith urged annoyed. The Jedi forced his feet to obey and enter, squeezing between the chair and the walls, as the upper part of the construction descended again. The sound of the locks latching back into their places echoed weirdly inside. Against his expectations this chamber was high enough for Obi-Wan to stand straight when closed. It consisted of black metal and a control panel was installed on one of the armrests of the chair. The air inside changed, filtered and clean of any natural pollution. The oxygen level rose drastically, and Obi-Wans head span for a moment before he adjusted his own body to it, by controlling the intake in his lungs, so it would not develop a toxic effect by applying his Breath Control.

Vader typed something into the controlling panel and in the next second there appeared a small droid, flying down from the ceiling. It latched onto the helmet. Obi-Wan moved out of the way, slowly realizing what was happening. His heartrate picked up again. His eyes glued to the helmet as he stood directly in front of the Sith

A quiet hissing sound almost made him jump, but then the droid detached the mask, encompassed it and flew up again, revealing the human under it from the top of his head, to the end of his neck, where his body armor began.

Wide-eyed Obi-Wan stared down at the greyish, pale skin. A deep scar stretched from just above his forehead to the back of his bald head on the left side. Another disfigured his face and ran under his left eye up to his left temple. But his features were still those of his beloved Padawan. Features he had seen develop from that round face of the scared child that had clung to him for dear life whenever they had been alone. The features of the young, fearless man that had saved Obi-Wans life countless times during the Clone Wars. Features that had contorted into pure disgust when he had screamed at him, how much he hated him.

Piercing yellow eyes observed him. The gaze made Obi-Wan step back. Or at least try to. But he was locked in. There was no room to escape. He couldn’t even get out of reach in this small thing. He wanted to avert his gaze, but was caught by those menacing eyes, while inhumane agonized screams echoed throughout his head.

“Like what you see, Master?” Vader spit angry. His voice was pained. Like it had taken much effort to even form enough strength to be loud enough for someone to hear him. The labored breathing just affirmed that thought and Obi-Wan was able to tore away his gaze finally and shut his screaming mind up to assess the situation. Vader seemed broken all of the sudden. Breathing seemed to be an awfully painful procedure and considering that rattling, rasping noise he created with every breath, it didn’t even work the way it should. The pain he radiated multiplied and took over most of his aura, while amplifying the anger and hate at the same time. Within seconds Obi-Wan was enclosed in this small chamber by a suffocating concentration of those emotions, stinging on his skin and making it itch like a rash, while his chest seemed to constrict, his heart being crushed.

“Don’t act like that. This is your doing. You left me burning alive!” The Sith reminded him. And it was. He had left him burning on Mustafar all those years ago. This pain was his doing. The labored breathing was his doing. The necessity of that hideous armor was his doing. Only now Obi-Wan realized that all those times he had asked himself why Vader never took off the helmet even within his own walls, the answer was so easy. He simply had not been able to do it. Not without dying because of the damaged lungs that wouldn’t provide him with enough oxygen.

Terrified Obi-Wan stared at Anakin. He had reduced his beloved Padawan to this. The constant pain was his fault. The ugly armor was not a choice. 

Without any warning his Padawan reached out and his hand got hold of Obi-Wans wrist. He pulled him forward, making him stumble. The Jedi caught himself by steadying his weight on Anakin’s shoulders. Then the Sith’s other arm was around his waist and he was pulled onto his lap.

Before Obi-Wan even realized his position, a hand was at the back of his head, forcing him down until their foreheads met. Skin to skin. Condemning, yellow eyes just in front of him. The labored breath brushing his lips. It cost Obi-Wan every ounce of self-restraint to not start hyperventilating. To not kick and thrash and hit whatever was around him. He just wanted to be not here. Not with this version of Anakin. Not seeing what he had done to him.

His vision blurred as he kept his trembling hands on the black leather covering Anakin’s shoulders. The dark tendrils curling around him, latching onto him, binding him in place in a way that seemed as if they would never let him go again, searing his skin with all the pain.

Anakin leaned back again, breaking the direct skin contact and just eyeing him. His hand trailed down his head then his neck, shoulder, arm and came to rest on his thigh, while his other arm stayed curled around his waist.

It took the Jedi quite some time until he was able to think straight again. Until he had his own feelings under control and his self-hatred and loathing shut up again. He was able to stop this. Or at least he would be able to alleviate Anakin’s breathing if he used his Force healing. And he would. Nodding at the Sith, he leaned down, initiating contact again, half leaning against him, his hands clawed into the black fabric. He closed his eyes and dove into his own mind, searching for the inflamed passage. It was no problem to find it as it always stood out in its monstrosity. He hadn’t examined it since Mustafar. Not really at least. It was always just a presence at the corner of his eyes. Lurking just out of sight.

As he stood now right in front of it, after years, it almost kicked him out of his concentration. The door was scared beyond recognition. Inflammation accompanying every one of those scars, festering and bleeding into his mind. The space around it was infected, too and it seemed like the sickness was spreading. Trying to invade the rest of his mind. Slowly crawling deeper into it.

His senses picked up another presence, which he recognized at once as that of Anakin. Dismissing his troubled thoughts, Obi-Wan moved closer to the door. As his hand came to rest upon one of the scars, it discharged pus, running down thickly over his fingers. Pressure from the other side made the scars move like tendrils and the bleeding intensified, pooling around Obi-Wans feet.

How did Anakin dissolve the problem on his side? It was obviously possible to reopen it, as the Sith had already done so down in the dungeons with his door. 

Obi-Wan put his other hand at the door as well, causing again the scar he touched to discharge thick pus. Maybe it would have had been wise to ask Anakin how he had resolved this issue. Concentrating on the presence on the other side, he tried to communicate that he indeed was trying to break down the barrier.

What did he do in the past, to open the door? There never had been a problem, he simply had thought about Qui-Gon, Anakin or Ahsoka and the barrier would vanish. This obviously wasn’t working here. Determined he started to push against it. Maybe he could rip it, force a hole into it. And then he felt a weak spot between two scars that hadn’t been there before. He moved over and examined it. Anakin’s presence was strong on the other side. A smile touched Obi-Wans lips, as he placed a hand on the weak point and the barrier melted away, giving way for the Darkness that lurked outside. Pain and rage bled into his mind, spreading fast. Almost amused the Jedi threw up his shields containing the liquid like thickly black substance. He would not tolerate the Sith’s presence in his mind. For a moment it thrashed around, searching for a weak spot, before it turned around and wrapped itself around the damaged door. Together they forced the little hole to open up. More and more until the rip was big enough for Obi-Wan to cross. The link in between was practically nonexistent as they were touching skin to skin.

The first moment he stepped into Anakin’s mind was overwhelming. All the pain raging in there brought him down to his knees, gasping for air. He felt Anakin’s presence beside him pushing back his own emotions so Obi-Wan would be able to breath. It took him some time. When the Jedi looked around again, he saw the shields the Sith had built up, hiding his own secrets and thoughts. Obi-Wan looked back at the entrance and was surprised how unchanged it looked. No scars, no festering wounds, no deformation. Apparently, it really was open for some time now. How long it would take for his own door to heal?

Almost smiling the Jedi started to work, prodding and pocking at Anakin’s body, finding his way to the lungs. They were full of scarred tissue, burned and useless. The heat had destroyed most of the alveoli. No wonder he needed elevated oxygen concentration all the time. This would take an immense part of his time. And he wasn’t even completely sure he would be able to repair all the damage. But this was just one problem. Obi-Wan moved on and examined the rest of his Padawans body. The scars on his head were deep and would stay where they were. Again, moving on Obi-Wan found multiple severe injuries. The whole torso was covered with open wounds and his stumps were all infected and in seriously inflamed conditions. Which was preposterous after all this time. They should be healed by now! How could this be?

With a mix of anger and bafflement he resurfaced out of Anakin’s mind, without closing the door in his mind. Opening his eyes, he looked directly into those sickening yellow ones of the Sith Lord that held him captive, that were part of the handsome face of his beloved Padawan. He wanted to stand up, but a hand at the back of his neck as well as that one still curling around his waist, didn’t allow him to move away. He tapped Anakin’s shoulder to signal him to let him go, but nothing happened. The gaze intensified even and Obi-Wan was trying to understand his situation. When the hand in his neck moved again it slid up to his cheek and brushed gently through his beard, which send a weird shudder down the Jedis spine that he didn’t understand. He wasn’t afraid of Anakin. Not now. Not anymore.

Then he let go and Obi-Wan needed a moment to realize that he was able to stand up now. The droid descended again, replacing the helmet on the Sith’s head. Obi-Wans fingers twitched as he felt the urge to throw that hideous thing to the ground and stomp at it, before it could consume his Padawan and turn him back into Vader.

The moment the droid was gone, the ceiling of the small chamber moved up again, flooding the interior with normal air so that Obi-Wan was able to drop his Breath Control.

“Why is your body such a mess?” It spilled out instantly. “Your stumps are in a seriously bad condition and your whole torso is ripped up and sore, covered with bruises and gashes and grazes. What in the stars are you doing on a daily basis to be such a mess?” He continued as he stepped outside into the larger room. And why wasn’t he floating in that personal Bacta tank of his right now?

“The suit and the protheses are badly fitting. They rip open my skin with every move.” Vader explained. But Obi-Wan felt confusion through their link. Apparently, he didn’t close his side as well. “That is not what I want you to fix.”

“I will fix it!” Obi-Wan contradicted. “I can treat that. But you will need new protheses. And anyway, when they are ill fitting, why do you still use them? This is ridiculous! The protheses from the Jedi Order didn’t do that to your arm! This is not normal!”

Vader just stared at him. Still standing inside the small chamber. And Obi-Wan whished so much he could see Anakin’s face below that. The feelings in his mind told him how irritated he was and then something warm spread through the link that Obi-Wan didn’t quite recognized, before it was gone all of the sudden. He flinched when the door was slammed shut to keep him out.

“They are supposed to.” Vader said, moving now out of the chamber as well.

“What do you mean by that?” Why would Vader keep using those? He had an Empire at his fingertips. Surely there was someone who knew how to build protheses that actually did their job!

“That is none of your concerns.” The Sith insisted.

“Of course, it is my concern!” How could he even say that!? He let him burn alive! Cut off his limbs! And left him to die in this state! Years later he still suffered from these wounds. Whose concern should it be, if not his!? “You will always be my concern.” He added just to drive home the point. He closed the distance between them. Tenderly he placed a hand on Vader’s upper arm, where he knew that there was skin below. “I won’t leave you again.” He promised and projected all those feelings of determination, loyalty, concern, love onto him. Anakin had closed his door, but at such a proximity some of those would probably still reach him. It was like the day he had cut his Padawan braid. The strength of his emotions had probably pierced both their closed doors. And now Obi-Wan had his still open.

Vader’s hands grabbed his upper arms with a crushing force. For a moment they stood like that, then he shoved him away and Obi-Wan stumbled backwards until he crashed against a wall behind him.

“Close your side.” The Sith ordered.

“I just succeeded in opening it.” Obi-Wan objected. With a few swift strides Vader was right in front of him. One of the gloved hands closed around his neck, squeezing. Obi-Wan slipped instantly back into his Breath Control technic but the pain was still real.

“You will do as I say, old man.” And the malice was back in that wrong sounding voice. Anakin was gone again and Vader had taken over. Since the Jedi didn’t want to start a fight he obliged and nudged his door gently shut. He hated it to do so. But obviously his adult Padawan wasn’t tolerating this open sharing of emotions any better than the teenage version of him.

“Now leave.” Vader shoved him once again. Now in the direction of the exit. And Obi-Wan obeyed. There was no way Anakin would listen to him now. Obviously, he needed to calm down first. And they would see each other at dinner anyway. Still, he turned around in the doorframe and looked at Vader for a moment, who was staring back at him. A glimmer of hope let him linger. But he wasn’t invited back into the room. So, he left.

Down on his floor he went back to his room, where Toobee was redressing Ahsoka’s wounds. There weren’t many left that needed any bandages anymore and Obi-Wan turned around to the wardrobe to get her some clothes. In the end he took some of his own as those would be wide enough to not press on any sensitive skin. He thanked Toobee for his care. It returned the compliment, telling him that the wounds looked so much better every time when he redressed them, that he was wondering why Obi-Wan wasn’t a healer since he obviously had a talent for it. But the Jedi knew that his capabilities were nothing in comparison to the real Jedi Healers. He had seen what Vokara had been capable of. She had worked nothing but wonders with anyone she had taken care of. Under her care Ahsoka would be up and running by now. She would have been able to put her into a Healing Trance. Obi-Wan would only accomplish to put himself in one, as long as his mind wasn’t to preoccupied with other stuff.

The droid left the room again and Obi-Wan returned to the young woman’s side, dressed her and then pulled her again into an embrace and wrapping her with his own Force signature. He dove down into his mind and examined the still inflamed wound in his head. The opening was sealed again, but it was obeying his will. He would be able to open it, when he wished to. But the rest didn’t change. Most of the door was still covered in scars that bled into his mind, festering and invading their surroundings. Would it ever heal? Did it even have a chance to do so? Vader’s door had healed. It would probably just take some time.

Shaking his head Obi-Wan turned away. Only time would tell. For now, he had someone else to take care of. And only seconds later he joined Ahsoka in her mind, continuing her healing and falling asleep at some point.

He woke up because of movements around him. Lazily he opened his eyes and was stared back at by big blue ones.

“Good morning.” He was greeted. “I think.” He could hear the smile on Ahsoka’s lips. By the stars, how much he had missed her! Blinking he tried to wake up completely. He yawned. All that healing made him feel wrecked.

“You need to let go of me, Master.” She said, reminding him of how he fell asleep with his arms around her, pulling her against his body in a very protective manner. Apparently, they remained like that and she hadn’t figured out how to wriggle out of his grasp without waking him up. A little hesitant he detached himself from her.

“How do you feel?” He asked, while she was sitting up and stretching her limbs, examining her body and testing her limitations.

“Way better than I should considering our situation.” She pushed herself to the edge of the bed. Her legs falling over it and her feet meeting the floor. “How did you manage to do that?” Her head turned back to him and she crooked it to one side, eyeing him. “Last time I fought him; he would have killed me without hesitation.” She tried to stand up, but sank down to the bed immediately again. Obi-Wan helped her and together they managed a way for her to stand. Her face contorted painfully and she reached reflexively up to touch her right lek.

“I am sorry.” He apologized. There was not much he had been able to do about the wracked nervous system there. Vokara maybe had had been able to help her with that. But he wasn’t good enough to heal something like that properly. Of course, he could try, but he doubted the benefits would justify the risk. No one should temper with the central nervous system, who didn’t know exactly what he was doing. “Do you need more analgesics?” He offered her. Toobee left some with them in case Obi-Wan saw reason to apply more.

“No.” She declined. “I can barely look straight. How much did you give me?” Her fingers slid tentatively over the severed lek. The stump was still covered by a Bacta patch.

“Enough.” Obi-Wan answered and caught her hand, stopping her from touching the still sensitive wound. “There is a mirror in the bathroom.” He offered. She shook her head slightly, apparently not ready to see how her former master had disfigured her.

“Your leg was broken not so long ago. Be careful.” He reminded her und she just smiled at him. She knew. Probably had sensed it just like he had taught her to so many years ago. It was a skill Anakin had asked him to teach her as he never had been very good at it himself. Obi-Wan had insisted on Anakin learning to utilize the Force even in an unconscious state to heal himself. To make it a reflex. Just as Qui-Gon had tortured him into this. But it had been one of the most important skills he ever had learned. Ahsoka had not taken nearly as long to learn this in comparison to Anakin. And she had even shown some interest in it, so that he had taught her to scan her own body accurately to search for damage and push the Force to those areas specifically to accelerate the healing. He had planned to instruct her on how to delve into a healing Force Trance and how to use her Force bonds to heal others, but it never came to that. She had been gone before he had that chance.

“Apparently you stitched me back together quite well.” She retracted her hands and tried to stand on her own. It worked until she tried to move and Obi-Wan caught her before she could really fall. “So, care to explain our situation? What did you do?”

And Obi-Wan did. He went more into details, as they moved around the room and she tried to find her balance, testing her joints and muscles, finding weak spots and memorizing where she needed to put her Force healing into. He caught he a few times restraining herself not to reach for her lek.

“You think it will steer him back into the Light.” She said not looking up, but staying focused on her feet that tangled up uncoordinated and she tugged at her friends arm for support.

“I think he will have the chance to see the Light, when his body stops being a prison of agony.” He affirmed. Letting her go again, but staying at her side.

“Or you will release a much more powerful horror on the galaxy.” She reminded him.

“I won’t leave him this time.” He said although he wasn’t sure how much that would help. Maybe it would make things worse. Anakin had rejected him since he had been a teenager. They had managed to form something like a friendship after his knighting but that had gone to hell after the Rako Hardeen incident. Maybe it would just rile him up more if his former Master would remain at his side.

“If someone can turn his head around, it’s you.” Ahsoka said. A sad smile appeared on her lips. Her attention snapped to the door as she sensed something outside the same way Obi-Wan did.

“Good morning.” Toobee greeted both Jedi. He bowed slightly before Ahsoka. “I am Toobee, Master Jedi. I am very happy to see you up and on your feet.”

Distrustful she eyed the droid. But Obi-Wan returned the greeting and she relaxed a bit.

“I have prepared a breakfast for both of you in the dining room. So, if you please, you can go whenever you like.” It turned to Obi-Wan. “Do you need anything for today?”

“No. Thank you, Toobee.” He declined.

“Then I won’t bother you anymore. Please let me know, should you find yourself in need of anything.” It said and was gone again.

“Really?” Ahsoka asked looking at Obi-Wan. “What in the Force did you do, Negotiator?”

He only laughed and led her out of the room, while explaining how he himself had no idea what had happened exactly.

“Maybe he realized how much he wanted to keep you when you almost died at his hands.” The Togruta clung to his arm while she looked around. He wouldn’t deny that notion. But Vader had made it very clear he wanted him just as his pet, taking obviously joy in seeing his former master humiliated.

“I rather believe he wanted me to heal him and realized I wouldn’t be able to, if I was dead.” Maybe he remembered this ability of his when he had been on the brink of death and decided to try this before he let him die. Or he had remembered when he saw him healing Ahsoka. Obi-Wan would find out. One way or the other.

When they entered the dining room Ahsoka again halted. The blinds were shut as always and the lamps illuminated the room. “Okay, seriously, you sure he is not wooing you?” She stared at the breakfast that looked more like a feast. Reeking of decadence once more. Or as always since Obi-Wan had been able to eat without any restrictions again. Now two places were laid out beautifully and the table around those was stuffed with different freshly made food. Carafes with water and different types of juice stood in between as well as a teapot that was steaming with its hot contents. By now Obi-Wan knew that was only hot water. A box with different tea packages would be somewhere on the table as well, so he could choose whatever flavor he would like.

Obi-Wan laughed again. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he is doing.” He said amused. But Ahsoka didn’t move and he looked at her inquiringly. With furrowed eyebrows and a stern expression in her big eyes she eyed him again.

“You look good.” She repeated herself. “Is that cotton?” She took the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. It was a light-colored tunic, finely designed and decorated with elaborate patterns. It felt like cotton. But it had been processed with great care and would fool someone who didn’t have experience with this or the heightened senses of a Jedi that it might be wool. This thing was the least fancy piece of clothing he had found in the wardrobe. And he would not bring that up with Anakin. He feared it would rile him up and he would stuff the closet again with nightmarish golden pieces made out of silk and velvet. And ridiculous capes.

“Yes?” He answered, waiting for her point. Was she really considering this? This was ludicrous.

“You said, you woke up like that.” She kept going and brushed with one hand through his beard, that was starting to grow out of proportion by now. “You always looked very handsome this way.”

Half surprised, half disturbed by that he furrowed his brows, now returning her intense gaze. He didn’t even want to hear something like that out of her mouth. She had been a child last time he had looked this way. Last time he had cared for his appearance.

“That’s what everyone said back then. You should have listened to what some of the clones were fantasizing about.” She winked at him. A small smile on her lips. And now Obi-Wan was feeling a little too self-aware. “I didn’t see it. You’re still not my type. But SkyGuy was constantly suppressing a blush when you entered the room. I felt that. It was pretty confusing, especially the first time. Before he strengthened his shields against me. He tried to explain to me, it was because he still had the feeling to be scrutinized by his former master, when I asked him why you riled him up every time so much. But I understood what was going on, when I grew older.”

Obi-Wan just stared at her blank faced.

“Oh please, don’t tell me you never even considered him having a crush on you. You did notice him behaving weird around you sometimes.” She insisted.

“I…”, Obi-Wan began. Of course, Anakin had been behaving weird around him sometimes. Their past was a weird one. Most of the time his Padawan had despised him. If he actually had riled him up by entering the room, then probably because Anakin had wanted to punch him in the face for something. 

“Wow!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “Really? You are always so perceptive, but that your own Padawan was in love with you escaped your attention? I always thought you didn’t bring it up because of that idiotic no attachments thing, so your missions wouldn’t be separated from one another. Or to not get him into trouble. Or, since you sat on the Council yourself, to be able to ignore it and turn a blind eye as long as you didn’t have any irrevocable evidence.”

Obi-Wan cringed when she spoke of love. He tried to remember how Anakin had behaved back then. How it had started that their Master-Padawan relationship became a problem and his young Padawan had started to lash out at him for seemingly no reason. For those little no reasons like keeping his bond open at any time, like touching his shoulder to correct his stance during training sessions, like forcing him to sit down and meditate together, laying a hand on his cheek to heal a scratch, lecturing him on the Jedi Code.

“This is preposterous.” He concluded. His blood was rushing in his ears and he reached for the doorframe himself as his vision started to spin, completely forgetting about the Togruta at his side, who now reached out for the doorframe on the other side to stabilize herself.

“Its preposterous that you didn’t notice.” She spoke. “I guess this explains how you were able to actually let him believe to have died. I never understood how you justified doing this to him.”

“He hated me since he was fourteen!” Obi-Wan turned to her, half yelling. “I was barely able to teach him anything for three years, as he always lashed out at me as soon as he saw me! He always kept his shields up around me. He didn’t even trust me with something as important as Padmé! He rather lied to me about where he had spent the night! Most of the time he despised me!”

“How can you even think he didn’t care about you!?” Ahsoka retorted vigorously. “He loved you!”

And Obi-Wan felt reminded of different conversations with Padmé. After some time into her relationship with Anakin, she had started to show up in the Jedi Temple to speak to him, or had invited him for tea, sent invitations for feasts and galas. She had often inquired him about Anakin, dropping hints that she had a feeling something was going on with him. And she had been always good in using her words, maybe she would have fooled him, if he hadn’t had his suspicions about them at that point. Later on, it had felt like an unspoken secret between them. She had known, that he was very aware of her boyfriend. It made them both more relaxed and more tensed at the same time. None of them wanted to cross the line and spell it out. But they had talked about the strained relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin. And every time Padmé had taken Obi-Wans hand and looked earnestly into his eyes, before she had told him, that Anakin loved him. That he should never doubt it. And one time she even added how a wife usually would feel jealous about such devotion that was not directed at her. That was the point at which Obi-Wan understood, that Anakin wasn’t just in a relationship with Padmé but had married her. At that point she had confessed it to him. And she had known it. He hadn’t commented on it, but his incredulous look probably had tipped her off about how new this information had been. She had smiled at him sadly, obviously feeling sorry at how much pain it had inflicted on him, that Anakin had not included him in something this important.

Back then Obi-Wan had thought she had talked about the commitment to the war and Anakin’s devotion to the fight. It had felt strangely placed at that time. But in context of what Ahsoka had just told him, it put the all those conversations in a completely different light. And they made more sense, too.

“I think, you misinterpreted things.” He said, forcing his breathing to calm down. His mind was racing. He didn’t even know what to think. Would both of these women, who had been so close to Anakin, be wrong about this?

“I think, you are blocking that possibility so you won’t have to deal with the implications.” She retorted.

“You are imagining things.” He replied. She returned his gaze, completely unmoved by his words, cracking an eyebrow before rolling her eyes.

“You know, there is no Jedi Order anymore you should feel obligated to.” She didn’t wait for a reaction, but stretched a hand towards him. “I need to sit down. Help?”

Without hesitation Obi-Wan jumped to her side and let her link her arm with his. “You should think about it.” She murmured but then dropped it and asked about Toobee and what he was doing around here. He saw how it just added fire to her theory, when he explained. But she didn’t say anything. She just looked at him with that knowing gaze, while she was eating. Obi-Wan had lost his appetite. Opening the tea box, he noticed his favorite tea occupying half of it. Other varieties were stuffed in the remaining space. For the first time Obi-Wan wondered why Anakin even remembered which tea he liked the most. Or that it was actually considered. He never had mentioned it to Toobee. Pressing his lips together he closed the lid again as his stomach started contorting uncomfortably and poured himself just plain water. His hand shook when he placed the carafe back onto the table. His eyes darted back to the young woman sitting opposite of him. She smiled. But it was a mixture of pity and sympathy that made him look back down at his unused plate.

Was she right? Had Anakin felt something like love, and not just a love between Master and Padawan, but the romantic type, towards him? Had that been the problem? Had he been afraid they would kick him out of the order, if someone ever discovered this? Obi-Wan had told him often enough by then that attachments were forbidden and could lead to an exclusion. It had been important for him to understand that, since he had started his education so late and had already formed a strong attachment to his mother. Did Anakin really think Obi-Wan would let someone kick him out because of an infantile crush towards him? Things like that sometimes had happened. When Obi-Wan had been a Padawan he had had friends, who had liked their masters a little too much. They had grown out of it and no master who had learned of such feelings ever had given up on them.

Would this explain Anakin’s behavior? It would certainly explain why his Padawan had barred his mind so unbelievably strict. Why he had started to despise their joined meditations. And since he never really had formed friendships to other Padawans, he may never had known how common something like that was.

But it got better. When he had been seventeen, he repeatedly had referred to him as some kind of father figure and stopped being so on edge in his presence. He never returned to his former self, where he had loved Obi-Wans company and opened up to him, chatted with him. He kept his distance physically as well as emotionally, but he had never let Obi-Wan down even once, when they had been on a mission. They always had worked seamlessly together in a fight, their Force signatures melting into each other, whispering about their movements, coordinating their defense and attack into as force to be reckoned with. Even Mace had commented once on how in sync both of them fought. Which was later on the reason why they had been paired so often for missions during the Clone Wars.

When Padmé had reentered their life, Anakin had grown even more distant. And then the Rako Hardeen debacle happened and Anakin’s disdain had blown up in his face. Even Padmé had looked at him unbelieving and condemning afterwards. So, Obi-Wan had withdrawn himself. Determined to stay away as much as he could, evading his former Padawan whenever possible and avoiding any contact with Padmé. Which was the reason he hadn’t spoken to them about the pregnancy, when he should have had done so. Ultimately playing into Palpatines hands.

How had he even been able to fail so miserably?

“Master?” Ahsokas anxious voice ripped him out of his inner turmoil. She had tried back then to get her two masters back together. And while Obi-Wan had still always made time for her, he had refused to squeeze himself back into Anakin’s attention. He had just waited. Hoping his former Padawan would forgive him in time. “Don’t torment yourself about the past. It is not the Jedi way anyway.” She smiled, apparently trying to cheer him up.

He was only able to hold her gaze for a few seconds. His chest was constricting, his windpipe seemed to close up, his stomach contorted in the weirdest way, while his hands just wouldn’t stop trembling, no matter how hard he clenched his fingers into fists.

“The Jedi are dead.” His voice was firm, unrelenting. “I personally saw to that.” Standing up, he shut out Ahsoka’s voice, closed their bond imperturbably. He didn’t want to hear her. He didn’t want to see her. And he certainly didn’t want to feel her!

Holding all his feelings barely in, he crossed the hall and into one of the unoccupied guest rooms, shut the door behind himself and let out all the pain and the rage, shame and self-loathing. Screaming and crying, and standing within that room while the furniture started to break and collapse as the invisible Force clenched its fingers mercilessly around them and squeezed relentlessly with overwhelming power, contorting everything into a pile of scraps as the Force around him reacted to all that uncontrolled anguish. The window shattered with a loud noise and splinters shot through the interior, as the wall caved in above the bed, burying the remains under a ton of stone and metal.

Heavily breathing, sobbing and shaking Obi-Wan fell to his knees. He felt the heat from outside invading the room. Probably the energy shield was malfunctioning now that part of the ceiling was broken. His ears picked up the searing noises of a lightsaber fight. And then again, a hateful voice screaming at him. Even Padmé was back, lying on the floor only inches away from him, staring with those dead eyes accusingly directly at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... it turns out I have no private life. Enjoy the next chapter :)
> 
> As many of you mentioned, Obi-Wan needs hugs. I listened to that. And yes, I know. He desperatley needs some love ;) I am really cruel to him.  
> Nightshade and pincopallino: As far as I know, hallucinations can be part of PTSD. Just to butt into that conversation.  
> Timewaster: As demanded, chapter one has now fixed formatting.  
> vermalreik: I chose a title fitting the content. And as the story is Obi-Wans POV, I think it fits quite well. And I do agree that Obi-Wan attracts bad guys. I just don´t think it is just the bad guys. More like: Obi-Wan attracts. Fullstop.

Someone touched his forehead. Fingers slid to the side and stroked at his temples before vanishing into his hair, where he could feel them on his skull. Careful. Tender. He leaned into that touch. For a moment the movement froze in place and Obi-Wan was almost disappointed but then it resumed. The fingers returned to his forehead, trailed down his temple, over his cheek to his chin and then lazily upwards again and just under his ear back into his hair. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine.

Confused he started blinking until his vision cleared. A black, hideous mask was looming above him. Violently flinching he jerked back.

“What…?” Escaped his mouth, as he looked around. He was in his room. Or was he? It felt wrong. Not like the space he had been inhabiting for the last weeks. The dent in the wall was gone and the stupid imperial flag was back just opposite hanging on the wall.

“You had once again a nervous breakdown.” Toobee explained. And Obi-Wan only now noticed its presence. “I was under the impression that Jedi exhibit an immeasurable amount of self-restraint and control over their feelings. I must have been misinformed.” Then it started to elaborate on old teachings and Codes it had been recently studying.

Obi-Wan just stared at it. And wanted to push it against the next wall, ripping the head off to shut it up. How did this thing dare to lecture him on Jedi teachings!? Instead, he reached for the flag, tore it out of its fastening at the ceiling with enough force that a chunk of black massive stone came off as well, and flung it at the droid.

Before it could collide with Toobee, something changed the trajectory and the lump of fabric and stone crashed noisily into the wall behind it. Dissatisfied Obi-Wan shot Vader a look, who returned his gaze.

“You are not damaging my droid.” He clarified. “Toobee, shut up.” He then addressed it as apparently it hadn’t understood what had just happened and blabbered on happily. Or it had chosen to ignore it. Who knew with this thing? It had never behaved like a normal droid. And now it looked back at its master, shrugged in a way too human manner and at last fell silent, crossing its arms in front of its chest, waiting.

Only then Obi-Wans brain caught up. His eyes widened and while he began to process what he had done; Vader grabbed his jaw and turned his head around to look at him. He leaned down a bit, staring directly into his eyes. The tendrils around him moved towards the Jedi, laying themselves around him in a caressing way.

It felt almost inviting. And way too little like the looming Darkness it had always felt like before. The contact didn’t feel painful and invasive anymore.

“What’s happening!?” A female voice rang through the closed door and made Obi-Wan jump. Vader let him go and, still unnerved, the Jedi looked at the door. Ahsoka. He felt her presence outside. Apparently not even trying to hide how nervous and worried she was as he felt those emotions lingering around her just outside the door in abundance.

For a moment Obi-Wan didn’t know what to do. Did he want to let Ahsoka see him in this state? What was his state anyway? Something in the back of his mind was prickling. And he shoved it aside reflexively, when he looked up and at the droid.

“I am sorry, Toobee.” He apologized, tankful that Vader had stopped him from damaging the droid that had become more something like a friend to him within the past weeks.

“That’s okay, Obi-Wan.” Toobee answered as happy as ever. “I am very used to weird projectiles. You would be too, if you’ve had lived with him as long as I have.” He supplied and nodded at Vader.

But it was not okay. Nothing of this was okay. What the hell had happened to him!? How had he actually been able to want to damage Toobee? Quickly he focused on his mind and back down to the inflamed door. Nothing there has changed. It was closed. Nothing came through it except for the vibration that he had expected to feel, as sign of Vader’s existence. Its state was still the same, too. Withered and deformed and bleeding into his mind. Nothing had healed even an inch. It gave him the creeps. So, he turned away, examining the rest. It felt out of place. Like everything was loose and rattled and slightly shifted. But not uncomfortable. More like a different point of view.

“Guys!!?” Ahsoka’s voice once again sounded through the room, now accompanied by pounding against the metal door.

“I didn’t let her in as apparently she had done something to prompt you to demolish a whole room.” Vader informed him.

The room! He remembered. He had failed to control himself and had left the young woman in the dining room so he would not harm her. Younglings sometime when in emotional turmoil had such breakdowns where the Force just lashed out uncontrolled in reaction to it. Usually, those children didn’t have the power to actually hurt someone with that. It resulted in pushing someone back a step or shattering a glass or equally little outcomes. What Obi-Wan had done was terrifying. He was too old and too powerful to let that happen! He had to keep himself under control!

Almost angry Obi-Wan looked at the Sith. Even though he didn’t really know why he felt angry. He himself was unsure about seeing the young woman. Then he opened up his shut down senses more, reaching out and loosening the blockage on his bond to the young woman. Instantly he felt her presence in his mind, relieved to be reconnected with him. And she indeed stood outside at the entrance. Waiting for something to give her a clue about what was going on.

He rolled over to the other side of the bed and stood up, walking to the door and opening it with a stroke over the control panel. A sad smiling Togruta awaited him on the other side. Her eyes darted to Vader for a moment, before they settled on Obi-Wan with an inquiring expression in them.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. But she shook her head, reaching for his hand, squeezing it. She leaned in and stared into his eyes as if she was looking for something. But, relieved, she apparently saw what she had hoped for and let herself sink against him. Instinctively he closed his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. And almost instantly that annoying prickling feeling in the back of his head died down.

“You know, I always loved you and always will, don’t you?” She murmured into his shoulder. Her arms found their way to his back, where her hands gripped into the fabric of his tunic. She opened her side of their bond completely and sent all those feelings to him. Love. Devotion. Affection. Respect. Admiration. Trust. Loyalty. Commitment.

And Obi-Wan melted against her, pulling her further in. Their Force signatures blurred into each other, cocooning around them. For a brief moment, just a few seconds, everything was all right. Everything was bearable and Obi-Wan didn’t need to actively stop his mind from spiraling down into madness and chaos. A smile found its way to his lips and he pressed them against one of her montrals. “I love you too, young one.” He answered with a warm feeling spreading in his chest.

“I never doubted that.” She answered when they detached form each other again.

“Of course not.” He answered almost laughing. Something in his mind shifted again as he looked directly into those trusting blue eyes in front of him.

Again, a prickling feeling in the back of his head appeared. But now he could feel where it came from. Obi-Wan looked up and back to Vader. He still sat at the edge of the bed, completely motionless, staring at them. His aura was moving agitated around him, bleeding malice to the ground that had started to pool at his feet.

“How long was I out?” The Jedi asked. “Shouldn’t we start with your healing?” They hadn’t scheduled anything, but he had assumed to begin the next day. There was no reason to wait.

“Are you up for that, old man?” Vader sounded somehow cross out of no reason.

“Are you?” Obi-Wan challenged. He felt a disapproving bang at their bond, but the Sith stood up.

“I am awaiting you then.” He said, and marched out of the room almost knocking Ahsoka aside, as she stood half in the doorframe.

“You won’t take me with you, will you?” She asked watching Vader disappear into the elevator.

“No. I will leave you in our room.” They crossed the hall to the other side. She was leaning heavily on his arm and he was wondering how she got from the dining room to this room. Had Toobee helped her? Obi-Wans eyes flickered down the hall and he saw one door was pried open; the frame deformed. But that was not important. Important was that Vader apparently didn’t take it out on Ahsoka. She was fine. And disturbingly calm considering how close Vader had come to her.

He sat her down on the bed. But when he turned away, she caught his hand. “He felt so much like him, when he ripped that door open to get to you.”

Irritated he looked down at her. He must have had been completely out. There was no memory in his head about any of that after he had fallen to his knees and stared back at his hallucination. That was in fact the last thing he remembered. Staring into Padmés dead eyes.

“I’ll get him back.” He promised. Or he would die trying as it seemed.

“Be careful, Obi-Wan.” She pleaded, clutching his hands, refusing to let go. “All of this is getting to you. If it was anyone but Anakin I would insist to flee by now. But I know nothing will keep you from helping him.”

He didn’t even try to contradict. She was right. He would not leave until he had healed Anakin as much as he was able to. No matter what that would mean for him or the galaxy. He wasn’t sure what the outcome would be if he had to calculate Ahsoka’s wellbeing in. He would probably try to get her out just to return alone. A thought, that might be of importance in the near future.

He sat back down and beside the young woman, returning her gaze. “He will not harm me.” At least not until he was healed. After that Obi-Wan was not so sure. Maybe he would just snap his neck the moment he was useless to him. And he didn’t want to think about what he might do to him, if Ahsoka’s theory about Anakin’s feelings for him were right. And if those had lasted until now. It would explain why Vader didn’t just made sure for him to survive, but had accommodated him up here, letting Toobee care for him and throwing all the luxurious crap at him. Even some of his reactions to him made sickeningly more sense with that knowledge in the background.

“That is not what I mean.” Ahsoka said. “You are slipping. I haven’t seen you this uncentered since our reunion. And this horrible planet is not the place for you to be uncentered. You can’t stay here for much longer.” She insisted. “We need to find a way to get off Mustafar. With him. I doubt this planet is doing him any better.”

He would like to calm her worries, but he knew she was right. He had his mental shield up as much as he could to block out his surroundings. To block out the planets natural influence on the Force. He didn’t wat to feel it. He was walking on thin ice by now, stashing so much of his emotions and thoughts away to deal later with, that it would start to boil over soon. Nevertheless, he could not afford to deal with it now.

“We will deal with that once he can breathe on his own. He can not leave until he is free of all the equipment.” Obi-Wan explained.

She nodded, apparently unhappy about it but seeing the problem. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, then on her hand, Obi-Wan left her. As he walked by the demolished door, something made him stop. There was again something in the back of his head. A sensation forcing itself to his attention. Hesitantly he stepped to the door and looked inside. It was completely destroyed. The blinds were drawn now. Every piece of furniture was a contorted piece of trash. Half of the room was buried under rubble. Waves of Darkness were surging inside the room. Darkness not compatible with Vader. He recognized it instantly. It was the same kind of Darkness that had engulfed him on Mandalore. After Maul had murdered Satine right in front of him and thrown him afterwards into a prison cell. It clung to the walls, the floor, everywhere. Why was it still here? Why did he still feel it? Had Ahsoka felt it? Vader?

Gulping he stepped back just when a human shaped form started materializing on the floor. Controlling his breathing he hurried to the elevator and punched the controls to go up. When he turned around again, he saw the Darkness seeping out of the room, tainting the floor and dragging itself across the black stone towards him, almost melting with it.

He punched the control panel again. Where was that damn elevator!? His breathing accelerated and he stumbled backwards when the doors opened. Pressing himself with his back against the cabin’s door. He watched the Darkness coming nearer as if it knew where he was and singling him out as its target.

The doors closed again and the Elevator moved up. Obi-Wan exhaled relieved. He went inwards. Searching his mind for evidence of a Dark Side manipulation. He didn’t even remember pulling on the Dark Side. But he obviously had! When he had demolished that room, it hadn’t felt like it. Didn’t he even realize that he had used it? Had he used it afterwards? He didn’t remember when he had lost consciousness or how. He heard himself laugh. It sounded hollow, somehow unhinged. And he didn’t understand why it had escaped his lips in the first place. Ahsoka was right. He needed to get off this cursed planet as soon as possible.

Pulling himself together the Jedi exited the elevator and banned his thoughts. Kicked them down and pushed them into an already overcrowded corner of his mind which he closed off. That was unimportant for now. He needed to be a functioning human being now. He needed to concentrate on Anakin. His lungs were the biggest problem. It was of utmost importance that he succeeded to heal him enough that he would be able to breath on his own. Then he would be able to wear normal clothes that wouldn’t rip open his skin all the time. Only the protheses were a problem. And he still didn’t understand why those were a problem. But that was something they could resolve outside of Mustafar.

When he entered the room again, Vader already was sitting in the chair within that small chamber. Determined Obi-Wan entered it as well. “You will need to undress. It will be more effective, the more I can touch you directly.” He explained although Anakin knew this.

“I told you, I only require you to tend to my lungs.” The Sith grumbled back. “You won’t be able to touch those directly anyway.”

“And I told you I would fix it.” Obi-Wan almost snapped back at him. He wasn’t really patient by now. He needed to heal him as fast as possible. So, they could leave as soon as possible. “Don’t argue with me on that, Anakin!”

Again, they just stared at each other. The disapproval pooled at their closed link. Or maybe it wasn’t closed anymore. Not at Vader’s side, not completely at least, since Obi-Wan wouldn’t be able to feel the disapproval if it was. It was probably in a leaky state, so that strong emotions would get through but nothing else. Then the Sith sighed. “Stay behind the chair.” He advised and the Jedi moved over accordingly. The ceiling came down again and locked them in. Obi-Wan initiated his Breath Control when he heard the ventilation system kicking in. After a few seconds the droid flew down again, detaching the helmet. From his perspective he now saw that the deep scar on his head went all the way back and stopped shortly above his neck. His fingers itched. But before he could decide whether to touch it or not, the Sith stood up and stretched his arms out. The little droid started to undress him, and within seconds his torso was completely revealed.

Obi-Wans eyes widened as he looked at the sore back. Most skin was gone, and he saw festering and wet wounds, deep gashes at his shoulders and his hips that were bleeding. The protheses cut into his flesh, rubbing at it in an inappropriate angle and causing inflammation. Although he had already felt this the day before, seeing it didn’t make anything better. When his torso was bare, Anakin sat down again and Obi-Wan rounded the chair to take a look at his chest. It matched the back. How was Anakin not floating in his stupid Bacta Tank!?

“Still want to touch me?” Anakin asked almost gloating. In the back of his head Obi-Wan felt the insecurity pour through their bond. Soon it was replaced by anger. But nothing mattered. The Jedi sat down in his lap, straddling him like the day before and bend down to touch their foreheads, while his hands went up to his shoulders. A weird squishing noise sounded when he pressed gently down on the festering wounds, feeling the overheated and oozing flesh below his fingers.

This time Anakin flinched away and Obi-Wan looked at him quizzically. Was something wrong? Did he hurt him too much by touching him? But he had worn that stupid armor. How much could his hands on his shoulders hurt in comparison? Something odd started pooling at his bond and then the connection was gone again. Anxious about this reaction Obi-Wan attempted to stand up again. Maybe it really hurt too much? When he lifted his weight again, an arm curled around his waist and pulled him back down as a hand clutched onto one of Obi-Wans, pressing it even harder down on the damaged flesh.

Completely loosing any overview about the situation, the Jedi stilled. What was the meaning of this? He had touched him so carefully because he didn’t want to hurt him any further. What was Anakin doing!? This was not beneficial to the cause. The next second the slightly moving tendrils transformed into a storm of tentacles reaching out and grabbing him, curling around him, pulling him in, suffocating him. Pain, anger, hatred, greed, fear, hopelessness, possessiveness, guilt, jealousy, insecurity. His senses were overloaded by all those and so many more emotions. He felt being drawn forward. Again, this squishy noise and when his head stopped spinning again, he was caught in a tight hug. Pressed against that raw skin. Anakin’s face was nuzzled at the side of his face, he felt his nose pressing into his hair just behind his ear. His labored breathing reminded the Jedi why they were in this situation.

Obi-Wan shifted slightly and the arms around him just crushed him harder. He wanted to tell Anakin, that he wasn’t about to leave. Tell him, that it was alright now. That he would do anything he could to help him. Get him out of here. Instead, he spread his arms and encircled that broken body, returned the hug just as tight. Apparently the Sith couldn’t care less about the pain that it undoubtedly triggered. Anakin started shaking slightly. And they remained like that for some time. Obi-Wan opened his door, sending all his emotions about love, caring, concern and hope through their link. He knew Anakin would be able to feel that, even if he didn’t open up himself. And then he waited, seriously trying not to cry.

Without any warning, he was grabbed at his upper arms and shoved away. Anger and Fear were clearly displayed on Anakin’s face when he looked at him. For a moment Obi-Wan thought he would punch him. He looked like he wanted to. Desperately.

“Do what we are here for.” He ordered cold. When Obi-Wan just stared at him dumbfounded, he added “Now!”

Blinking the Jedi tried to understand what had just happened, but then he decided to comply before Anakin’s anger would lead to violence. Bending forward he closed his eyes but a hand on his chest stopped him. “We don’t need that. Your side is open.” Confused once again Obi-Wan tried to find an explanation for this sudden hostility, when he felt the blockage on Anakin’s side disappear. But no emotions were there. He must have had shielded everything from him. A little disappointed the Jedi closed his eyes again and entered into the other man’s mind. There was really nothing there. The shields around him were strong. Obi-Wan knew it would be at least challenging for Anakin to hold them up, if the Jedi would try to force his way through them. But then again, he didn’t want Ahsoka to suffer because of it.

Without further delay he started working, moved his hands on his body back to his shoulders, where the damage was the worst and concentrated the Force in that area. At the same time, he began to induce new cell production as well as promoting the degradation of the scared tissue within the lungs. Vokara would be so much better at this. Nevertheless, he felt the progress. It was slow but steady. This would take some time before Anakin could try without extra oxygen.

When Obi-Wan started to lose concentration, he broke the connection. As he opened his eyes, he saw how much better the body in front of him looked. It was far from done, too, but in contrast, there was so much progress.

Before he could even examine his work closely, he was shoved off Anakin’s legs and stumbled back to his feet, using the wall to support himself. As the droid descended with part of the armor, Obi-Wan rounded the chair again to make room. And within seconds his beloved Padawan was swallowed by that Monster again. There was a hissing noise when the ceiling started to rise which was the cue for Obi-Wan to stop his Breath Control.

The link was shut again between them as the Sith slammed it violently, making Obi-Wan flinch as a headache spread throughout his head.

“Anakin…” The Jedi started when Vader stepped out of the chamber. With a swift movement Vader turned around again, raising a hand and Obi-Wans throat felt like it was being crushed. He tried to reapply his Breath Control but the pain radiating into his skull disturbed his concentration.

“You are delusional if you really think you could save me from the Dark Side, old man.” Vader watched him going down on one knee. “Anakin Skywalker was weak. And I destroyed him. No amount of melancholy will change that.”

And then Obi-Wan was able to breath again. Greedy he sucked air into his lungs, while looking up and at that horrible mask. Apparently, Vader didn’t like to be planned out of the future by him. And still, Obi-Wan would kick that ugly armor out the window the moment it wasn’t needed anymore! The question was, if that would be enough to kick Vader out the window as well. Or if the Sith has latched onto Anakin so strong, that he would remain in his place.

Without another word the Sith Lord turned around and left. Obi-Wan needed a few minutes to recover. After that amount of healing, he was very exhausted and the pain in his neck didn’t help either. He didn’t know how long he had lain down on the ground before he found the strength to stand up again. He just wanted to sleep. And never wake up again.

Standing in front of the elevator he became nervous again. He would have to pass that demolished room. But the Darkness was nowhere to be seen, when he exited. He still felt it though. Quickly he moved on, passing the door, ignoring the figure standing in it and looking at him out of beautiful but sad brown eyes.

Ahsoka had fallen asleep when he entered their room. A datapad lay beside her. Curiously he turned it around. It was about old Jedi legends. With a small smile he put the device onto the nightstand, before turning off the lights. He needed to shower. His whole upper body was covered in blood and pus. 

Their next healing sessions proceeded just the same way. Minus the hugs. Vader kept him as much at distance as possible. He didn’t even want him around for dinner or lunch or whatever anymore. Nothing. He didn’t answer any questions and ordered him at some point to shut up unless he was spoken to. The heavy black cloak obscured his features again. But the angry tendrils started to calm down the more Obi-Wan healed their owner. Except for when Obi-Wan came near them. Then they roared to life, lashing violently out at him. Vader’s dark aura itself seemed to become thicker by the day. After Obi-Wan tried to persuade him into joining him and Ahsoka for dinner and wouldn’t shut up about it even after a harsh warning, the Sith slammed Ahsoka into a wall and choked her until Obi-Wan begged him to let her go and promised to behave. With a warning not to ignore his orders again the Sith had let her go. The Jedi never ignored his warnings again. Not wanting to give him any reason to hurt the young woman again.

At least Ahsoka healed well. The torn skin left two scars across the left side of her face. But together they succeeded to heal her head injury as well as her lungs. Some scar tissue remained, but it was not enough to really have a great impact on her. The bigger problem was her severed lek, as it refused to calm down and tortured her whenever she tried to go down on her medication, leaving her a whimpering mess until Obi-Wan or Toobee managed to inject her with another dosage of strong painkillers. Toobee had come up with the idea to apply a narcotic balm onto the wound and simultaneously take away some pills, as he was anxious about the side effects it might induce if she kept to those strong painkillers for a prolonged time. It worked to some extent. And both of the Jedi started to look out for signs of toxic buildup within her body, scanning it together every morning. While Obi-Wan was up and healing Vader, she usually engaged in healing herself further, concentrating on her lek, pooling the Force around that aggravating wound. The effects were disappointing. But at least tiny bits of progress manifested, so that they hoped it would lead to success over time.

Nevertheless, they started to train together again. For this they cleared the common room across from the dining room by pushing the furniture to the side to have enough space. First it was just hand-to-hand-combat but Toobee at some point dropped training blades on them and commented that he assumed both of them were very skilled with a lightsaber, apologizing for not being allowed to actually give them some of those. Obi-Wan was surprised that there apparently were training blades within the building at all. Wasn’t this Vader’s personal fortress? Why would he have training blades laying around? And did Toobees comment meant that it had access to lightsabers? Maybe even theirs? Just wasn’t allowed to give them out?

The droid often lingered in the doorframe when they engaged in their training, commenting on how fluid their movements were. And they were not near as fluid, as they used to be. Obi-Wan was constantly exhausted from the healing sessions and still missing muscle tissue he had before his imprisonment, Ahsoka was influenced by the huge amount of medication flowing through her blood vessels. Neither of them was in a good condition to fight. The young woman was much more frustrated by this than Obi-Wan, who was still happy he was able to move again at all.

Even Vader had stopped by at some point. Usually, he avoided this floor entirely now, and Obi-Wan had been afraid he would shut down those training sessions, but instead he had just stood there for some time. Staring at them. Silently. Without saying a word, he had turned around again and left. Just like that. Strangely enough he had come back. Always just staring at them.

Ahsoka of course tried to talk to Obi-Wan about the elephant in the room. She was clearly nervous about him and Vader being alone up in that room, that she had never seen. It seemed like she expected the Sith to assault him at some point. And Obi-Wan wouldn’t be surprised by that. Vader had shifted since they had begun the healing procedure from Dark to Pitch-black, shielding just everything in his mind, lashing out violently at him whenever he wasn’t fast enough to do whatever he had had in mind or not exactly the way he had in mind. His tendrils were always attacking him relentlessly whenever he came near. The darker he got, the more painful it was.

Once the Jedi had returned to his room with a bleeding head wound as Vader had had an angry outburst about how long the treatment was going on and had Force pushed him backwards and against that stupid chair. He had hit his head pretty bad on it. Ahsoka had been out of her mind when he had returned with blood trickling down the side of his face. That night, was the first time that he had caught her crying in the bathroom and not because her lek was hurting so much.

The Jedi very much expected to be killed the second Vader’s lungs were done and was wracking his brain about how he could ensure Ahsoka’s safety. He spoke to Toobee about it as the droid had multiple times proven to be more than just a droid. Even Toobee seemed to be anxious about its master’s behavior and didn’t immediately assure Obi-Wan that Vader would not kill him as it usually did. This whole healing thing had not the effect Obi-Wan had hoped. Maybe he would see his mistakes when he actually killed him. Maybe seeing his old Master, and apparently someone he had once loved enough to make a wife jealous, dead at his feet, would stir something up in his brain. Make him see what he had really done. Make him regret it.

Another problem was that damn room that he had destroyed. He had asked Ahsoka how she could be so calm standing just beside all that looming Darkness all the time while he was avoiding it and she had just looked at him, cracked her eyebrow and stepped halfway into the room, before Obi-Wan had been able to catch her arm and drag her back outside, before it would swallow her up while he tried to ignore the woman standing at the window and watching him. As it turned out, Ahsoka wasn’t perceiving any Darkness in that room anymore. She told him, that she had, when he had had the outbreak, but that it had vanished, like on the next day. It worried her immensely that he still felt something. Obi-Wan started to ask himself if he felt something, because he was the causer of it and so perhaps just more finely tuned to it or if his brain was really cracking up by now and playing tricks on him. He relinquished from telling her that Padmé resided in that room as well. That he felt her accusing, condemning eyes upon him every time he walked past that door. Because he knew, that at least that part was only his imagination.

A few days later Obi-Wan woke up in his room to a very worried Togruta bending over him and an over informative Toobee blabbering about PTSD right beside her. Apparently Ahsoka had found Obi-Wan sitting in a corner of the demolished room, staring at the floor and mumbling unintelligible nonsense while being unresponsive to his surroundings. Obi-Wan himself had no recollection of any of this. At all. He just remembered going to sleep the evening before.

It took no more than ten minutes for Vader to turn up after Toobee had left. He had looked at him and Obi-Wan had felt him poking through their bond, before he had turned around and left again without saying a word. They heard some weird sound from outside and when they went looking, the already broken door to the demolished room was now completely barred. The metal of the formerly open standing door was further deformed and pressed into each other so solidly that nothing beyond was visible. Obi-Wans first thought was that Padmé was locked in there and that he had to get her out. Then his brain caught up and he turned around, laying back down, pulling the blanket over his head. Padmé was dead. She was not in that room!

After that Ahsoka had been very adamant about meditating together in the morning as well as in the evening. And who was he to refuse a joined meditation? Nevertheless, it was saddening how much he apparently made his Padawan so worried about him, that she was the one asking for the meditations. She must have been terrified by his state. And Obi-Wan understood this only partly. Yes, that blackout had been weird, but it didn’t happen again. But sometimes he caught himself spacing out and being surprised by Ahsoka’s sudden presence at his side. Time became a fuzzy concept to him. It was more like a stringing together of healing Anakin and meditating with Ahsoka. Whatever happened in between stopped being of importance. What was it anyway that he did in between?

When they reached the end of Vader’s treatment, the two of them had practically not spoken a word to each other for two weeks. Their minds were full of shields. Vader didn’t let anything through and had ordered him to do the same. Said he didn’t want those ridiculous, stupid and naïve ideas of his anywhere in his own head. And Obi-Wan was so used to the shields in his head, that he never even lowered them anymore. Ahsoka always had to remind him of that, when they meditated together, so he would give her access to at least some portion of his mind. Sometimes he even automatically raised them again while they were meditating. The young woman had grown restless and started to look at him in a very weird way Obi-Wan was not able to designate. But she clung to him almost all the time. At least he thought she did. Every time when his mind snapped to attention she was there. So she did cling to him, didn’t she?

Obi-Wan turned up in Vader’s room for this last healing, the Sith already sat in the chair. As always. They worked seamlessly together again. The second the Jedi joined him, the chamber would close, he would apply his Breath Control and the droids would remove his helmet and the upper armor. His body actually always got worse again in between their sessions. Not so rapidly that it would be futile to heal his skin at the same time, but it was frustrating nonetheless. He had never directly healed his back or his legs, only send healing waves in the general direction, which was helping but less then on the spots where he was able to touch him directly. And the damage below the waistline wasn’t as bad as on his torso anyway.

When he lowered his hands this time, Vader laid a hand on his right thigh. It was the last healing before he should be able to breath on his own again. The oxygen concentration was already way lower than in the beginning. So, they knew this treatment was successful. There was still scarred tissue in his lung, but those would need more detailed attention to figure out if there was even a chance for him to treat those. Still, after this he should possess now more than enough healthy cells to process the oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange without any additional help. With the other hand Vader typed something into the controlling panel, a warning light flashed, but he typed another sequence in and then the hissing sound filled the chamber.

Obi-Wan stopped his Breath Control. The door between their minds was shut again but Obi-Wan kept his open. If this was not working and they needed to lower the ceiling again, the communication might be faster that way. Vader’s hand stayed on his thigh. He didn’t want him to stand up. Probably to help him, if they had miscalculated. Maybe even to directly break his neck if it did, as he would be of no value to him anymore.

Vader’s eyes widened and Obi-Wan automatically reached for the control panel to lower the ceiling again, but his hand was caught.

“I can breathe.” Anakin whispered. A small smile appeared on his lips.

Warmth spread in Obi-Wans chest. He didn’t need the bond to see how relived his Padawan was. How full of joy about this simple thing as sucking air into his lungs without having to endure excruciating pain with every breath he was.

Happier than in years Obi-Wan smiled down at him. His hand reached up to Anakin’s face and he caressed his cheek before he bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead, like he had often done when he had been a child. Back then Anakin had loved this display of affection and even returned it whenever he had been in a position to reach his forehead.

When he straightened back up Anakin’s smile was frozen. His piercing yellow eyes bored into his and the Jedi started panicking that this would have consequences for Ahsoka. And then Vader’s hands shot up to his head and Obi-Wan waited for them to close around his throat and snap his neck.

Instead, one of those hands grabbed the back side of his neck, the other the back of his head and pulled him back down. Only a split second later he felt lips moving against his own, aggressive, demanding, devouring. And then greed, wanting, craving, lust and overwhelming hunger swarmed his senses as the dark tendrils engulfed him.

For a second Obi-Wans mind was just blank. Then he tasted blood and life surged back into his body. He tried to turn his head away, pushed against Vader’s chest, tried to get off his lap, to somehow stop him from kissing him. But he didn’t dare to utilize the Force in any way. Ahsoka would be the punished one for that. Or maybe not now that no healing was to be done anymore. But he surely wouldn’t try the boundaries.

Vader didn’t budge. His fingers even clenched in his hair painfully, holding him firmly in place. And then the hand in his neck trailed down, slid around his waist and pulled him in, pressed their bodies against each other. 

Panic rose in Obi-Wan when the hand found a way under his tunic, stroking his bare skin. By then his lower lip was bitten completely bloody and his mouth was full with the liquid. He was chocking on his own blood. His heart was racing, the blood rushed almost deafeningly loud in his ears as dread started to set into his bones.

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

His resistance got wilder as he was pulled even closer, chest moving against chest. The hand now gliding in between his legs. Obi-Wans lungs went into hyperventilation, which was impossible while Vader was crushing his lips. At the same time his windpipe started closing up. His chest exploded with pain and his vision became distorted.

And then he was shoved to the ground. “Close your damn door!” Vader yelled at him. “How many times do I have to say that!?”

Without hesitation Obi-Wan pushed himself away to get out of reach. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what and his throat was so dry that he wouldn’t be able to, even if his mind would produce adequate words. He was still processing what had just happened.

Vader stood up, looking down at him. His face was contorted by his anger. When he took a step forward, the Jedi pushed himself further away.

“Don’t touch me!” He screamed and without thinking a Force push followed, that hit the Sith and made him stumble back. It was powerful enough to send him down into his chair again. The Sith just looked at him. Kind of astonished, while Obi-Wan had skidded back until his back had met the wall. His brain still not really following what was going on. And then everything crashed back into his mind. Anakin had wanted him back then. Probably. And it had crossed Obi-Wans mind that something like this could happen, but after Vader had descended so much into Darkness and rejected him again so utterly, Obi-Wan had not expected this anymore. He had fully expected to die today. And had been okay with that. Maybe he still would die after Vader had his way with him. Obi-Wan was painfully aware of the fact, that he would not be able to fend him off. Not in this exhausted state after the healing.

The confusion didn’t last long. Vader’s facial features hardened and seconds later the floor was swarming with Darkness that fell from his body as he rose back to his feet. The tendrils again in an angry uproar.

“Anakin…” Obi-Wans voice trembled, pressing himself against the wall. The Sith halted, narrowing his eyes. It seemed like he wanted to kill him just with his stare. Then he turned around and walked away. Just like that. When his presence vanished from the room Obi-Wan broke down into a heap of mess.

Was this just the first flood of emotions and Vader would calm down, when he adapted to his new freedom? Realizing how gross it was that he had kissed his old master? Or had tried to eat him. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what that violent pressing lips together actually had been. And why he had used so much of his teeth.

All of the sudden he felt a comfortable presence in the back of his mind cry out in fear and then vanish completely. His eyes-widened and his body went numb. The next second he rushed to the door and took the elevator back down. His own terror and exhaustion completely forgotten.

“What have you done!?” He screamed at Vader, who was standing in the hallway. Just outside Ahsoka’s and Obi-Wans joined room. He couldn’t feel Ahsoka anymore. The link was cut! Had he just killed her after Obi-Wan had defied him!? Had he killed her instead of him!?

“Of course, you come running for her.” The Sith snarled only half acknowledging the anger that was thrown at him.

“What have you done!?” Obi-Wan repeated. Had he really just killed her? Because of him? The Jedi channeled the Force and slammed it towards the smirking Sith to get him out of his way. He needed to get into that room. He needed to see what he had done!

The walls around them shook and Vader looked confused for a split second, before concentrating on the blow itself. The sheer power pushed him two steps back. Only then he was able to negate the effect. Behind him the wall cracked as the residue of Obi-Wans attack hit it. Crushed stones trickled to the floor. When the Sith looked up again an excited smile adorned his face. His eyes were bleeding arousal as he looked Obi-Wan up very precisely, causing a shiver to run down the Jedis spine. Vader would devour him.

The Jedi readied himself to at least be a challenge.

“Master!?” Ahsoka’s voice sounded through the door. She banged against the metal. “I’m fine! I can’t feel anything! What is going on!?”

The Collar! Instantly Obi-Wans will to fight left him. She was ok. She had vanished because of the stupid collar! Vader had not killed her. He had silenced her.

“What a pity.” Vader said disappointed. “I would have loved to take you after beating you into submission.”

Obi-Wans breath hitched in his throat. Could this really be his adorable Padawan? Right now, it was barely possible to not neglect this idea. That bright and compassionate boy he had raised would never even think such a hideous thing!

“Anakin…” His voice sounded weak. He was desperately trying to see something human in that monster that he was facing. “I know this is confusing. You need to adapt. You have to calm down. This is not what you want.”

Snorting, the Sith took a step closer. “Oh, I want this.” He snarled. “I wanted you since I was a kid. And now you are mine! You will never ever leave me again!!” The whole floor was swarmed by the Dark Side, moving over the black stone like mist in the early morning.

This was not going well. As Vader came nearer, Obi-Wan hesitated. Should he keep fighting him? Or should he just let him have his way with him? Giving in. The mere thought was sickening. But this way Ahsoka would probably stay unharmed. It seemed that the Sith was really fixated on him as he had just blocked Ahsoka with a collar as far as Obi-Wan could tell. But the Togruta just kept pounding against the door and seemed really vivid. Had he really just placed the collar around her neck? Nothing more? So, it wasn’t just any warm living body, that he craved? It was really him. Was he transferring his emotions for Padmé onto him? Or had the desire he once had felt towards him really survived up until now and was twisted by the Dark Side into this primal and uncontrolled craving? This thought didn’t get any better. No matter how often he was pondering on it. It was always just utterly ridiculous. Even as Vader had just spit it in his face. How in the Force had Anakin ever loved him? Why!?

“I don’t want this.” Obi-Wan said earnestly, looking directly into those wrong yellow eyes. Raising his hands in a silent plea to stop. But he didn’t grab for the Force. The result would not change for him that way. If Anakin was completely set on forcing himself upon him, then a fight would not change this. Not if he wasn’t willing to leave Ahsoka behind. And even then, his chances were practically not existing as he was exhausted from the healing so much, he was ready to fall asleep on his feet. “But I swear to you, Anakin, I will not leave you. No matter what happens. Not again.”

Vader stopped. Confusion plastered across his face, eyebrows furrowing, then anger shoved everything aside. With a sweeping motion of his arm, he slammed Obi-Wan into the wall, just beside the door opposite to his room, where Ahsoka probably stood at the door trying to listen to everything. He had woken up in this room after his last nervous breakdown. His head hit against the wall, he cried out as pain shot through his skull and the next second black dots were swirling before his eyes. Blinking he attempted to get rid of them, but then the door slid open, a hand gripped his neck and shoved him into it. He tripped, fell and collided ungently with the floor and into that vicious mist that instantly started biting at his skin. Any air within his lungs was pushed out and he was gasping for breath when a weight settled onto his hips, pressing him down. He felt something at his throat and everything fell silent all of a sudden. His senses died away, the world stopped spinning, his eyes failed him. No menacing Darkness anywhere. And the dreading realization dawned on him, that Anakin had stripped a collar on him, too. He had silenced their bond.

“And why would I care about what you want?” The Sith snarled. His hands grabbed the beige tunic Obi-Wan was wearing and ripped it apart, his hands stroking eagerly bare skin, as Vader leaned down and pushed his face against the side of Obi-Wans, licking from his jaw along his cheek to his temple.

“Because you love me.” The Jedi answered, trying not to vomit about this situation. He could barely see in this unlit room. The only light was provided by the lamps in the hallway, which fell through the still open door. “I am so sorry, that I didn’t understand this earlier.”

The hands roaming his torso stilled. For a few seconds heavy breathing against his ear was the only noise in the room, then Obi-Wans jaw was gripped in a bruising way and tilted up. Anakin bend over him, so low, that even in this lighting the yellow in his eyes was discernable. “You are a pet. When I tell you to bend over and spread your legs, you will do so.” The malice in his voice was biting in Obi-Wans ears. His heart fell and a faint urge to fight again rose up. Vader was just revolting.

But he didn’t move. His opponent was the most powerful Force user of this galaxy. And he was blind and deaf, without any balance. His jaw felt like giving in any second, his lower lip burned with pain and he was beyond exhaustion after the healing session and his outburst in the hall. So, let him do, whatever he wanted to him. It didn’t matter anymore. Maybe he just needed to get this out of his system. After all, he had been alone for years in that black armor. And if Obi-Wan put up too much of resistance, he still might turn on Ahsoka. The Jedi didn’t even want to think about the consequences for the young woman if her former Master even tried to assault her like that.

He lay there for minutes, jaw in a tight grip. Anakin’s face looming above him. And then he let go of him, stood up and left the room. The doors sliding shut behind him. Leaving him in complete darkness. For a second adrenalin flooded his veins as he feared for Ahsoka. But he didn’t hear anything. No door sliding open, no screams. Nothing.

A bitter laugh escaped Obi-Wans lips. So, what now? Was he a pet? A sextoy? What was it? But his mind just wandered off. He was too tired to deal with it. None of it made any sense and his head hurt so much. He would have to think about it another day.

“Obi-Wan?” a mechanical voice said. Someone shook his shoulder. He wanted it to go away. But he was shaken more urgently and opened his eyes to tell whoever was disturbing him to leave him alone.

Toobee was bend over him. Its head crooked to one side. “Do you sleep on purpose on the floor?” It asked.

“How is Ahsoka?” He ignored the question and pushed himself upright. His head hurt, and his vision blurred for a moment.

“She is very vivid about what happened yesterday. She has used overly colorful words to describe what she will do to Lord Vader when he shows his face again.” It didn’t sound the least bit concerned about a potential threat to its master. Probably because he had seen what he was able to do and how weak she was in comparison. All the more now that she was inhibited by the collar again.

Just like him, as he remembered. His hand reached up and he felt the smooth metallic surface of it, settled loosely around his neck. No wonder Toobee had been able to just approach him.

“I wasn’t allowed to come here earlier. I hope you are…” It eyed him up and down. “… unharmed?”

Well, he lay on the floor, his tunic was in shreds, his head was protesting heavily, his lower lip was throbbing painfully and his whole jaw felt like he would return to eat mush for the next few days. So no, he was not unharmed. But by now Obi-Wan understood, that this wasn’t the real question.

“He didn’t rape me.” If he didn’t know better, Obi-Wan would have sworn the droid exhaled relieved.

“Then it would be good to see to your injuries.” It said and offered him its hand to help him up. At this point the Jedi was not too proud to accept this as he feared his head could have a problem with the change in position. And the room around him indeed started to spin and twist a little. Luckily it lasted only few seconds.

“I’m fine, Toobee. What about Ahsoka. Can I see her?” He tried to divert the subject.

“I’m afraid Ahsoka is confined to her room, alone.” The Jedi already breathed in to protest, when the droid spoke again. “However, the correct words were to not let her step over the doorstep and to not let you in. I guess you could just be incidentally there when I check on her spontaneously and then you could all of the sudden decide to squeeze by me, which would completely surprise me, I assure you. I would not be able to bar the space in time. And I would not be allowed to harm you anyway, although I would naturally be very cross with you and repeatedly asking you to leave again. And then, you would probably have the idea to carry your student over the doorstep on your own so she would not step over it. And then I would not have any reason to even complain about anything. At all.”

Obi-Wan stared at Toobee. How much freedom did Vader give this droid?

“By the way, you should wash yourself. You will make her worry anyway with that appearance. Don’t make it worse. I will schedule a spontaneous checkup on her in half an hour.” And then it turned around and left the room again.

The Jedi followed the droid’s instructions and went into the bathroom. The mirror showed him, what Toobee must have meant. His lower lip looked exactly how it felt. It was swollen, torn and dried blood was covering everything. It had run down his throat and soiled his tunic, that was ripped anyway beyond repair. The reddish substance was smeared around his lower face everywhere. Dark bruises had formed around his jaw, where Vader had grabbed and almost crushed the bones there. He was happy for his beard as it covered those very effectively. Made it look less grievous than it was.

Tentatively Obi-Wan ran his fingers over the blue colored skin and winced. Definitely no solid food today. Or the next week. As fast as he could, he wiped away the blood, before leaving the room and waiting outside for the droid.

“What a surprise to see you here, Obi-Wan.” It greeted him and opened the door opposite. Before it even opened completely, the Jedi slipped by and heard an unconvincing “You are not allowed to be in here. Please leave at once.” Behind him.

“Obi-Wan!” Ahsoka exclaimed surprised and shot up from the chair at the desk. Her eyes were wide with concern and he rushed to her. “What did he do to you!” She demanded to know. Obi-Wan inspected her. There was nothing to see. No scratches, no grazes, no bruises, nothing. Only the stupid collar.

“I’m fine!” He assured her.

“Breakfast is laid for you in the dining room. I have laid two places. Just completely random as I know that Ahsoka would not step over the threshold. And Obi-Wan, would you please leave this room?” Toobee piped up again, sounding bored.

Obi-Wan smiled at the droid, which hurt, then he took out a new tunic and replaced the ripped one, before he gathered the confused young woman in his arms and walked out of the room, putting her back onto her feet just outside.

“I guess that works.” Toobee said, before shrugging its shoulders and walking away, directly towards the elevator. Obi-Wan laughed quietly.

“How can you laugh!?” Ahsoka’s panicked voice let him look back at her. She reached out, but halted before touching him, looking with concerned eyes over his face. “What did he do to you?” She repeated with barely contained horror in her voice.

“Don’t worry, he…”

“I heard what he said about beating you into submission. And then you screamed and I couldn’t hear anything anymore and…” She explained, obviously trying to keep herself together.

“He didn’t go through with it.” Obi-Wan cut in before she would work herself into a frenzy about this. “He stopped.” And that is, when it hit him. Vader had actually stopped. No matter that vicious comment about being his pet, no matter ho much he had obviously wanted it, he had stopped. Anakin had made him stop.

Wide-eyed and with slightly open standing mouth Ahsoka stared at him, breathing quickly. Then she closed her eyes and bend forward, resting her forehead at his shoulders. Her arms came up and encircled his torso, drawing him into a hug. “You look awful.” She murmured into his tunic.

“I’m fine.” He assured her. He was actually finer than in a long time. The starting realization about what was going on made everything more bearable. Although the danger was far from over, he now had at least an idea where it was coming from. Now he could work with this. He could use this information.

Ahsoka calmed down after a few moments, so that he was able to explain what had happened and why he looked like he tried to stop a podracer with his face. Obviously, she didn’t like it, still, but her eyes lit up when he told her, that Anakin had reacted to his unwillingness to take part in any further physical involvement. The bruises were just collateral damage. Together they walked to the dining room, where the breakfast was beautifully laid out as always. It rubbed Obi-Wan somehow wrong to see nothing changing here. His eyes darted back to the elevator and he was asking himself when Toobee would come back. And if he was with Anakin right now. And how he was. If he had calmed down, then he was probably devastated about what had happened.

Together they sat down and Ahsoka was pondering about meditation later on while Obi-Wan searched out something to eat that he would not have to chew. Talking was painful. He didn’t want to try applying actual pressure on his jaw. They spent the day training a little their hand-to-hand-combat. Ahsoka completely botched everything. The absence of her Force sensitivity showed how much exactly she had relied on it to coordinate her movements even without thinking. She was constantly tripping over her own feet. It frustrated her to no end and she pressed on, because how hard could it be, when normal people did it as well and completely ignoring Obi-Wan lecturing on the fact, that non-Force sensitive people moved entirely different. But the most of the day they sat across from each other, holding hands and meditated. Both of them needed that.

After two more days like that, Toobee approached Obi-Wan. The droid was rubbing its hands and for a moment just looking at him in silence, although it had just stepped right in his way and blocked his path. Ahsoka eyed it quizzically.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked, immediately worried and cursing that stupid collar around his neck, as it took any possibility away for him to check up on his Padawan. It had worried him, that he had been absent.

“I know it is audacious of me to ask this, but if you were willing, I could let you deliver food to Lord Vader.” It spoke. Its voice wavered a little. Not for the first time Obi-Wan was contemplating if Toobees memory ever had been wiped. It just behaved so… alive. And imaginative to work around its boundaries as it was proving once more, since the Jedi did try to use the elevator to go up and check on Anakin. But he had been denied access. Now he felt his heartrate accelerating by that proposal.

“What is going on with him?” Obi-Wan asked. Ahsoka crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“Lord Vader had been in a very… sour mood since… his healing.” The droid chose very diplomatic words for what had happened. “He denies to eat, as well as his usual nutritional infusions. I am afraid he might not have slept either. He certainly doesn’t look like he had. This morning he didn’t even let me tend to his wounds.” The droid tapped onto his upper arm, indicating which ones he meant.

“I can try?” Obi-Wan offered and looked back to Ahsoka, who looked like she might go to be sick. Nevertheless, she apparently wouldn’t argue against it, as she stayed silent and returned his gaze with an anxious one.

“I wouldn’t ask, if I thought this was just one of his usual mood swings.” Toobee promised.

“Its ok.” The Jedi assured him. He wanted to see Anakin. And yes, he was a little nervous about it, considering their last encounter, but at the same time, he very much doubted there would be again such an assault. If he were capable to force himself upon him, he would have done so two days ago, when everything had been new and raw and overwhelming.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Ahsoka warned him. “You tend to forget your own safety, when given the opportunity to help someone else. And this is Anakin, so you usually don’t even attempt to think about what is good for you as long as he will be ok.”

“This is my privilege and duty to all my Padawans.” He smiled at the young woman, which was met by rolling eyes and an exasperated huff. For a moment there seemed to be something on her lips, that wanted out. But then just a small smile appeared and no words passed them.

Toobee brought a plate with the same cardboard mush Obi-Wan already knew. At least, it looked like that. And it struck him in that second, that Anakin probably hadn’t been able to eat in any way since their fight on Mustafar. What did the droid say? He refused his usual nutritional infusion? All of this was just a complete mess.

Promising Ahsoka to not do anything too stupid, he entered the elevator and exited it on the now so familiar level. Strictly ignoring the reddish light, he walked over to the door into the circular room and then on to the room with that weird small chamber, where Toobee had told him he would find Anakin. The droid had excused itself to not be able to accompany him as its master’s order to stay with Ahsoka while Obi-Wan was with him, hadn’t been removed yet.

The doors slid open in front of him and revealed a room, that was completely reduced to rubble. The walls were dented and deformed, to his right there was a huge hole in it leading to the room with the Bacta tank. Stone and metal pieces littered the floor. Anakin sat in the chair; his face turned to the large window at the opposite of the entrance, which was deformed as well. He could see the flickering of the energy field outside, but the window itself was gone. Pieces of the glass lay around that area. The ceiling of the tiny extra room was nowhere to be seen and as Obi-Wan looked up he could see protruding cables hanging down from where it had been. Still sparking and sizzling. The huge lava sea bathed the room in that sickening reddish light, catching in the now uneven and bumpy surface of the damaged walls and leaving dark spots for shadows to hide.

Obi-Wans mouth dried, a shiver ran down his spine and his feet rooted to the floor as he started to hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination that made him feel the Darkness in here, even with that collar around his neck. The plate slid from his grip and fell to the floor, shattering and adding to the chaos around it. He reached out behind himself, searching for the wall to steady himself.

A clattering sound filled the room all of the sudden and made Obi-Wan flinch. The blinds were coming down over the window, slowly blocking out the sickening light.

“What do you want?” Vader’s barely composed voice sounded over to him. It was bleeding malice and the Jedi was almost happy he was not able to sense in how deep a sea of Darkness he was standing in right now.

Lamps turned on, when the blinds closed down completely. Two were blinking irritatingly, most of them didn’t react at all but it was enough light for Obi-Wan to see the floor. And the littered rubble. Most of the way.

Straightening himself, the Jedi forced his feet to move. His whole mind was screaming at him to turn around and run. But he had seen the last plate Toobee had brought him on the floor beside the chair as well as a bottle of water. Both untouched.

“I am concerned about you, Anakin.” Obi-Wan answered, trying his best to sound sure and grounded, while something in his head seemed to screech annoyingly. Slowly he rounded the chair, keeping enough distance to be out of reach, but knowing all the same that this would not help him at all. Vader kept looking at the window, like there was still something to see. His skin was pale and even more greyish than before. The piercing, murderous eyes were bloodshot and dark circles had appeared beneath them, his lips looked rough and torn open. His upper body was still bare, but he also continued to wear the black trousers and boots of Vader’s armor, which made the Jedi cringe. He knew this attire dug deep into his hips, rubbing the skin sore with every move. His back leaning against the backrest, the arms on the armrests, not even acknowledging Obi-Wans presence with a look. Just staring with that hard and unrelenting gaze at the blinds.

“Get out.” He ordered quiet but seething. Something sharp was piercing in Obi-Wans skull. The hairs at his neck stood up.

“No.” The Jedi refused. Knowing this was exactly what he had promised Ahsoka not to do, he stepped right in Vader’s line of sight. He flinched as the yellow eyes shot up and this hateful gaze drilled into him. Obi-Wan felt his face contort as stabbing pain attacked the back of his head, making dancing, black dots appear in front of his eyes, sidestepping as his balance was affected by it. Understanding he was not able to fight this, Obi-Wan went down on one knee to lessen the impact for when he would fall.

And then the painful sensation was gone. Just like that. His vision cleared up again. Vader was crouching in front of him. Somehow Obi-Wan had ended up leaning against him, his face pressed into his shoulder, one arm around his torso and gripping at him for some support, the other clutching his upper arm, while Vader himself had brought an arm around his waist and placed his other hand onto his shoulder, stabilizing him. Obi-Wan didn’t remember how he got from kneeling to sitting or when the Sith had left his chair and how they had ended up in this weird position. An almost shocked expression was engraved in Anakin’s features as he eyed Obi-Wan concerned. And Obi-Wan knew that look so well. Anakin had always stared at him like that, when something hat happened and Obi-Wan had been injured. And then the Jedi couldn’t care less, when he leaned in even more, burying his face in his former Padawans shoulder, while slithering his arm around him and pulling him closer into a tight hug.

“Don’t bar me out, Anakin.” He begged.

Anakin’s whole body tensed up. His heart was beating so fast and forceful, that Obi-Wan could feel it against his own chest. Anakin’s hands grabbed Obi-Wans upper arms so hard it was painful. And the Jedi expected to be shoved away. Any second. But the seconds went by and nothing happened. Slowly the grip loosened, his hands slid around Obi-Wan, returning the hug and he sat down, leaning in himself.

Warmth spread in Obi-Wans chest and a smile forced itself on his lips. Nuzzling in he just enjoyed the company, the proximity of the most important person in his entire life. They just continued to sit like that. On the floor. Between all the rubble and chaos. This was not Vader he was hugging. Vader would have shoved him away, insulting and threatening him while doing so.

“I need to see one of your memories.” Anakin disrupted the bliss Obi-Wan had dived down into. He leaned away, pushing the Jedi gently from himself at the same time. Yellow eyes looked at him in an inquiring manner.

“I can’t let you go through my mind. You know that.” Obi-Wan answered, kicking down the desire to just lean in again. Instead, he sat back, increasing the space between them. Everything in him screamed to not leave Anakin’s proximity, to hold on to him so Vader would stay away.

“I want just this one memory. You can shield anything else.” Anakin insisted. “Mustafar. I highly doubt whatever was going on in your mind will reveal anything about your precious rebellion or carefully hidden Jedi.”

No, it would not. It would just crush and shatter Obi-Wan into millions of pieces to have to let this memory out of that oh so deep pit of oblivion he had created exactly for this one excruciatingly painful piece of his past. A process he had needed a year for. A process that would have had killed him before he had completed it if Bail wouldn’t have had found him when he did. He had never understood why the Force had guided the Senator to him. Now he had an idea.

“I can exactly tell you what was going on.” Obi-Wan sounded dismissive without even trying to do so. He really didn’t want that hellish thing out of its cage.

“More Jedi lies?” Anakin snarled, his face hardening, eyes narrowing to slits. “I don’t trust your words. A memory can’t lie.”

“A memory is always distorted by the perception of the one who has formed it.” The Jedi remembered him. There was often enough the case two people having completely different memories of one and the same incident. Memories were not reliable. Not so much as people always believe they are.

“That is exactly what I am out for.” Anakin asserted. “I want to see your perspective. I already have mine. Hear your thought, feel what you have felt.”

Obi-Wan pondered what would happen, if he refused. He would not die. That was clear. But would it put Ahsoka in any danger? Obi-Wan didn’t value his own anyway fragile sanity enough to let the young woman suffer for it. Plus, he very much doubted it would make Anakin open up to him if he refused. He would probably just lock him up somewhere and force him to have those creepy silent dinners again. Watching the other man carefully he saw how distrust and anger were creeping back into his facial features and Vader was clawing his way out and in the open again.

“Fine.” He agreed. What choice did he have? He wanted Anakin to trust him as much as he could get him to. Let him see how very much he loved him and had loved him even on that horrible day and while they were fighting each other. Maybe it would steer him towards the Light. And if Obi-Wans mind would shatter, then there was still Ahsoka. No matter how much she would want to kick Anakin in the face, she would not turn him down, when she would see the pain. After all, she loved him, too.

The mistrust and anger dissipated a bit. “Don’t try anything.” Anakin warned and stood up, returning to the chair and gesturing him nearer. The Jedi fought the uprising panic that was creeping up his spine as he stood up as well. For a moment he closed his eyes to concentrate on kicking the feeling down as hard as he could, but his chest was still constricting. At least he succeeded to keep it enough at bay to not sink down into a whimpering heap.

Like so often already, Obi-Wan let Anakin drag him into his lap. The hands laid down on his thighs. Holding him in place. It struck the Jedi as weird, now that he knew how the other man had felt for him since his childhood. Should he even be this close to him? He didn’t doubt Anakin’s resolve to not harm him in this way. Still, it felt wrong. He had raised this man. Romantic feelings should never have developed in his Padawan. And certainly not stay for so long and rooting so deep, that he wanted to possess him now. Years later.

Anakin reached up and unplugged the collar around his neck. Instantly the Jedi raised his mental shields to a maximum, to not get swallowed up by the Darkness around him. For a moment Obi-Wan let himself feel the joy of reconnecting to the universe. To feel the life and Light and hope. It made him feel like someone loosened the grip on his throat and air filling his lungs again, sharpening his senses on so many levels. Both Force users looked at each other. Now he saw the unsettled tendrils moving around Anakin’s form. The whole room stunk of Darkness. And Obi-Wan just wanted to lean down, and rest his head again against Anakin’s shoulder. But the pressure in his mind reminded him of what he had just agreed to.

Sighing he closed his eyes, wandering down into his depths and removing the barrier for Anakin. His presence flooded like black mist into his mind and it felt wrong and good and dangerous and tempting and disgusting and twisted all at once. His Padawan hadn’t been in his mind since his early teenage years. Not like this. And back then it had felt entirely different.

Breathing in deeply the Jedi turned to the caged but looming Darkness. He had used pieces of it to fend off Vader back in his tiny prison cell. But letting out the whole of it? Fighting down his nausea he stepped closer. This was not about him. This was about showing Anakin, that he had never resented him. Never stopped loving him. And how much it had hit him, that he had been forced into such a situation. This memory was perfect to convince him, that he in deed, would never want to hurt him. That he could trust him.

Resigning he stepped up to the cage. Darkness was already bleeding over the edges and tainting its surroundings. It was looser than it had been. Had grown stronger in the past weeks. Would he be able to push it back in there, when he was done? Or would he end up a whimpering idiot? Like all those years back?

It didn’t matter, he reminded himself once more. Only Anakin mattered.

Determined he ripped the cage apart, letting the monster out, which reared its ugly head at him and charged instantly. When it sank its teeth into him, the memories suffocated him, taking him back to the one day, that had killed his heart and soul.

_< Hiding in the small closet, Obi-Wan was focusing on his task. He tried to ignore the trembling of his hands, that reminded him constantly how anxious all of this made him, while the gaping holes in his mind were trying to throw him into despair. Holes where bonds to his friends used to be. To his family, that had raised him, taught him, fought at his side. Now there were just fading doors with cut links and no connection. _

_Other than his body, his mind seemed not to have caught up with the whole reality. It still refused to acknowledge Yodas mission. Because how could this be his mission? He and Anakin had often ended up on missions together. They weren’t pitted against each other! All of this must be some kind of crude joke. He would get out of this ship and Padmé and Anakin would laugh about him taking this so seriously. As if Anakin would ever have even the remote possibility to commit something as atrocious as killing helpless Younglings._

_Desperate his mind was forming one elaborate theory after another how the holorecordings ended up in the security computer even though it never happened. Nothing of it! Anakin didn’t storm the Temple! He didn’t kill the Jedi still present there! He didn’t kill any Youngling! He didn’t bow down to a Sith! All of this were lies! Had to be!_

_Obi-Wan had just to find out, what was going on! Who was framing his beloved Padawan! And then they would together kick that son of a Sith’s ass!_

_But as he felt Padme´s desperation rising, while she was navigating the ship, he knew that something was going on. Something that was not how his mind tried to push him to believe. And only little later Obi-Wan felt a dark presence, that was coming nearer. Hastily he obscured his own Force signature. It was reminding him of Anakin. Too much to be someone else. But the Darkness clinging to that presence was like acid on his mind._

_The Jedi pressed a hand to his mouth as his stomach turned. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips together and succeeded to not vomit when the ship rumbled lightly as it set down. Then Padme´s feelings intensified. Confusion. Desperation. Dread. Hurt. Fear. All of these emotions swirled around so clearly. And then something caught her attention, the emotions got swiped away and were replaced by hope and longing and love._

_The ramp was let down and Obi-Wan contemplated to stop Padmé from leaving the ship. That thing, that was approaching them was so dark, he feared for his friend’s safety. But on the other hand, this was the woman Anakin loved. She was the mother of his child. How would he even think about harming her? And who would have any better chances to talk some sense into him? Surely, she would tell him about what Obi-Wan had told her about the Younglings. And he would explain to her how stupid that was. He would tell her what had happened. Maybe becoming a little angry that she even considered him committing such a despicable act. And then things would clear out and everything would be fine. Padmé would get to him! Padmé would save him. She would be able to do, at what Obi-Wan had failed so utterly._

_He opened the closet and stepped to the entrance. Staying out of sight. Just listening to both of them talking. Anakin’s Force signature shifted to the Light, when he embraced his wife. The relief Obi-Wan felt was almost palpable. This was good. This would be resolved. Anakin would listen to her. But almost instantly his hope was crushed when Anakin didn’t even try to deny what Padmé told him about Obi-Wans accusations. He just told her that his old Jedi Master wanted her to turn against him. And Obi-Wan noticed how his signature shifted back to the Dark Side, growing with every word that Padmé said. And Obi-Wan felt his own heart clenching and crushing as the beautiful woman expressed her deep rooted believe in Obi-Wan, explaining that he wanted to help them. And he would. He would do anything for the both of them! At this point he barely even cared what Anakin had done, he just wanted him and Padmé out of all of this! Safe! And happy together! On some planet outside the Republic and outside of Palpatine’s reach!_

_But Anakin discarded her words like they were nonsense, telling her how he would become more powerful than any Jedi ever had dreamed of to protect her. But she just begged him to go away with her. Leave and stop involving themselves in all of this. Obi-Wan pleaded to the stars that Anakin would go with this. Take this chance to be happy with his wife and child and turn his back on this life that had ruined him so much._

_Instead, he explained how he was more powerful than the Chancellor. He explained his wife, who was so devoted to justice and democracy, that he would overthrow him and they would rule the Galaxy. This woman, who had fought so hard at every corner to maintain the Republic as a place of freedom. He actually tried to convince her, to just abandon all of her believes and convictions._

_Obi-Wan closed his eyes, focusing. This would not end well. Steeling himself to step out he kicked down his own emotions. His own shame and embarrassment and self-hatred for what he had done to this adorable and bright child. As well as the gut-wrenching pain that had settled in him over all of what had happened. Over Anakin’s distrust in him. But it was his own fault. He had given his Padawan every reason to hate him. He had just hoped, that his compassionate wife would remind him of himself. Would coax Anakin out of Vader. Proving that Yoda had misinterpreted the situation. That Anakin was still in there._

_And as Obi-Wan had expected Padmé stepped away. Not believing what she had heard. Seeing the truth of Obi-Wans words. That her husband has changed in a way that started to terrify her. But when she mentioned Obi-Wans name, and that he had told her the truth, Anakin’s Force signature plummeted even deeper into Darkness. And then he actually threatened her! Actually, threatened his pregnant, devasted wife to not betray him like the Jedi did. Like Obi-Wan had done._

_It was the point that Obi-Wan straightened himself. Padmé did not succeed. She had failed to reach him. Anakin was gone too far. And it took all of his resolve to put up a straight face instead of breaking out in tears about how true it was that Vader had consumed Anakin. How much the Dark Side had twisted him into this abomination. But he would not let Anakin force Padmé into anything. She would not want to stay and he would not let her go. It was time to intervene._

_He stepped onto the ramp and let the shroud around his Force signature fall. Anakin’s attention jumped immediately to him. Anger and rage rising he screamed at Padmé who was completely confused by seeing the Jedi Master descending the ramp of her ship. Desperately she denied having him brought here on purpose but Anakin was so far gone he accused her of plotting with Obi-Wan to kill him, raising his hand and Force chocking her full of hatred._

_“Let her go, Anakin!” Obi-Wan shouted. Keeping the dread that was spreading in his own body as much at bay as possible. Barley believing what he was witnessing here. “Let! Her! Go!” He emphasized on every single word, ready to stop him with violence if need be._

_And then Anakin did. Padmé fell to the ground, unconscious and not moving. Horror struck Obi-Wan and he saw that what happened disturbed his former Padawan as well. Apparently just now realizing what he had almost done. But instead of seeing his mistakes, he looked at Obi-Wan. Full of hatred._

_“You turned her against me!” Anakin blamed him._

_Barely able to look away from the woman on the ground, Obi-Wan turned back to the other man. “You have done that yourself!” He retorted. But instead of crouching down at his wife’s side, as any normal thinking husband would do, he stepped away from her, discarding his cloak, eyeing Obi-Wan with so much hatred that it made his skin crawl._

_“You’ll not take her from me!” He screamed._

_“Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.” Obi-Wan let his own cloak fall to the ground. Nothing here was going as he had hoped. Every second turned out to be worse than that before. “You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now… until now you have become everything you swore to destroy.” He needed Anakin’s attention on him. And it worked. As he began circling, Anakin moved as well, giving him the opportunity to get to Padmé._

_“Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the Dark Side as you do.” Anakin gloated. It gave Obi-Wan the time to kneel down beside the unconscious woman and put his fingers to her throat, feeling her pulse beating. A wave of relive washed over him._

_“I have brought peace.” Anakin kept shouting, even turning his back on him and Obi-Wan trailed his hand upwards and to Padmés face, sending one brief healing wave over her body. “Freedom! Justice and security to my new empire!”_

_Shocked Obi-Wan stared at his back. He really meant it. It wasn’t just a thought he had come up with to persuade Padmé into staying here. He really wanted to take over. Take everything. “Your new Empire?” He repeated still not believing what he had heard._

_“Don’t make me kill you!” Anakin threatened._

_“Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic. To democracy!”_

_“If you are not with me…” He turned his face a little, like he was trying to look at him, but deciding against it and looking back at the ship before him. “… then you are my enemy.” He concluded and it sounded softer than that angry shouting before, more like resignation. Like an unpleasant truth he didn’t like. A warning, to not do this._

_For a moment Obi-Wan needed to process this. So, Anakin was giving him the choice between betraying everything he believed in, betraying his vows to the Jedi, the Republic and justice itself. Letting him take Padmé against her will. And the most important: betraying Anakin himself. Because this could not be in any way his beloved Padawan. He would have never hurt Padmé like that. He would never try to rule an Empire. Vader had consumed Anakin indeed. Yoda had been right. This was not his beloved Anakin. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” He realized as some old lecture of Qui-Gons resounded in his mind. And he hated himself so very much, for what he did next. “I will do what I must.” Reaching for his lightsaber he unhooked it and let his body fall into a defensive stance. By now, after all that fighting, it was second nature. His body knew what it had to do. Half the fights he was in, his muscle memory and his reflexes took over so completely he hadn’t even tried to think anymore._

_“You will try.” Anakin retorted menacingly. Obi-Wan ignited his saber, half contemplating to throw it immediately aside and fall to his knees, begging Anakin to stop this and just leave with him and Padmé. But the moment passed and Anakin ignited his own weapon, jumping into action. They exchanged forceful blows and Obi-Wan let himself be pushed back, away from Padmé quickly. He needed to take this fight somewhere she would not end up as collateral damage. They retreated back into the building the landing platform was connected to and Obi-Wan saw the bodies littered on the floor. Neimodians. He recognized them. Sidious was cutting loose ends._

_Their fight was brutal. Anakin didn’t hold back and Obi-Wan needed more than just his muscle memory and reflexes to not get cut in half. But still his mind was occupied with the question how he would bring some sense back to his beloved Padawan. How he could kick Vader down and help Anakin to get back up. He could not be gone completely? Could he?_

_A few blows later he got in a lucky strike and Anakin lost grip on his sword. It fell to the ground. And then Vader caught Obi-Wans throat with one hand, choking him, while holding his other arm at his wrist to stop him from striking him with his lightsaber. He pushed him down, onto the table they had been fighting upon, relentlessly forcing Obi-Wans ignited sabre toward his face and staring at him with utter hatred. He would kill him. Just like that Anakin would strike him down with his own lightsaber. Something in Obi-Wan wrenched painfully. His chest constricted and then a painful sensation spreading through his whole body as he felt his heart giving in at last and break. Anakin truly and utterly hated him. Yodas words echoed once more through his head. This Sith was not the boy Obi-Wan had trained. The boy he had trained had been consumed by the Dark Side. His Padawan had long stopped caring or even liking him, but he would have never actually tried to kill him._

_Then he kicked Vader and send him flying. Obi-Wan would never let Vader lay a hand on Anakin’s wife or child! Never! He rolled back to his feet, lost his own lightsaber just seconds later and they ended up in a short brawl that brought Anakin down and lying on his back before him. Obi-Wan called his weapon back to his hand, igniting it and swinging it down at his disarmed opponent all the way begging the stars for this assault to fail. And as Vader managed to get his own weapon back and ignited to block the blow in time, Obi-Wan was so relieved that he would fail to find words for the emotion that spread within him. Seconds later they were back at exchanging blows until their weapons locked with each other, not moving an inch and both of them lunged out and threw a Force push at their opponent, pressing against each other. None of them stronger. And all the power they pushed into that attack shoved them away from each other, sending them flying and hitting some consoles in the room. Anakin jumped him, striking the console in the process. Alarms went off. But neither of them paid attention to that. Obi-Wan was pushed out of the room again and they were back outside. It was now obvious what the alarm had meant. All the energy shields that had protected the construction site and the into the lava protruding metal, was shut off. Everything around them started to fall apart. How poetic it was._

_When Vader maneuvered the Jedi into a dead end, he jumped onto the metal rods, that were protruding from the building and reached out above the lava. One of those things, that had lost their protection and would crash soon. Both of them balanced with some difficulty on it, as the heat was taking its toll. They needed to use the Force to keep their bodies from overheating and being cooked out there._

_Obi-Wan took the first possibility to jump down to a bridge below them and they resumed their fight, navigating back onto pieces of the construction site, none living being should tread upon. An outburst of lava shot up and spilled over the metal, blocking their exit and melting through it easily. Both of them ran, to hide from the hot rain that rushed down on them. Only seconds later the whole thing crashed down and into the sea of lava, while he and Vader were climbing up on it as high as it would get them away from the liquid death, still exchanging blows on their way. But they needed to leave this thing. It was floating toward a chasm. So, Obi-Wan grabbed one of the loose cables and swung around, searching for an escape. He found a floating piece of metal in the lava, that had still its protective shields up and navigated through the liquid and jumped onto that. The metal construction toppled over the edge._

_Where was Anakin!? He must have seen that chasm, too! It seemed impossible to lose him like that! Where was he!?_

_Wide-eyed Obi-Wan saw the construction vanish. Panic rose in him. Where was Anakin!!? Helpless he just stood on the platform and stared. And then there he was, jumping out at literally the last second and landing onto one of the working droids, floating towards Obi-Wan. Sighing relieved he rose his saber again to block Anakin’s blows._

_“I have failed you Anakin.” Obi-Wan admitted when both of them halted. His heart was throbbing so hard, so painfully that he barely was able to hold his weapon anymore. “I have failed you.” He repeated. All of this was his fault. Anakin had been his responsibility. His Padawan. His heart. His soul. The one person he had sworn to himself to never hesitate when he needed his help. And here he was. Fighting him in a fight to the death. Praying each time, it looked like he might actually win, that he would not. He didn’t want to harm him. He wanted to hug him. To pull him in and never let him go again. Protect him from everything and everyone._

_“I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!” Vader yelled back. It took Obi-Wan aback. How was he even bringing up this nonsense? The Jedi have pledged their loyalty to the Republic. They were protectors of the Republic! They had fought and died for the freedom and justice within it. So many of them!_

_“Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!” He knew Palpatine was the Sith Lord they had been searching for for years! They would have dethroned him the second they had learned about that. It was their duty! And Anakin knew that too. There would never even had been a war without Palpatine!_

_“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” Anakin retorted. And it was just another blow straight to Obi-Wans heart. He felt it break further, into millions of pieces adding to the anguish that had set into his chest, making it hard for him to breath even though they weren’t fighting at that moment._

_“Then you are lost!” Obi-Wan yelled back as the hurt took over and he lashed out without thinking. This had been the most stupid thing to say in this situation. And he felt instantly how his beloved Padawan sank even deeper into the Darkness. He wanted to say something. To apologize, to beg for forgiveness. But his chest was feeling like it was crushed by a rancor._

_They just kept floating on their metal pieces, staring at each other. Anakin eyeing him like prey._

_“This is the end for you, my Master.” He announced. The usage of his title made Obi-Wans breath hitch. This was the end, indeed. Anakin jumped onto his platform and lost balance for a second. Obi-Wan held back the Force push that his reflexes tried to send his way. He would not push him into the lava! He would never push him into that all consuming liquid! He held back, waiting for the other man to catch his balance again, preparing to even pull him back onto the platform if need be, and then they started again to fight until their sabers locked again._

_And Obi-Wan just needed to get out of this. He was breaking down. If he stayed on this platform, he would be the one who fell into the lava. As they floated passed scorched land, he took the way out and jumped, landing onto ground that was covered in ash. Looking back at Anakin, who just stood on the metal piece, eyeing him with so much revulsion, that the Jedi had to call on every inch of resolve he still had, to not avert his gaze._

_“It’s over, Anakin! I have the high ground!” He shouted. It was complete idiocy. If Anakin kept pushing like that, he would be victorious. Not because Obi-Wan was weaker. He wasn’t. Anakin was undoubtedly more attuned to the force, but Obi-Wan had so much control and mastery over using it, that it apparently made them equals. But his heart was breaking more and more with every blow they exchanged. It would fail him at some point. Even in this situation Obi-Wan didn’t know what he wanted now. Wanted he to just leave? Because Anakin could just step onto the ground at some other location and none of them would have any stupid high ground. His moral high ground would not resolve this._

_“You underestimate my power!” Anakin growled, apparently feeling challenged._

_“Don’t try it!” Obi-Wan half begged. Just leave. Just go away. Just… something!_

_With a furious shout, Anakin reached for the Force and surged into the air, swinging his lightsaber. This had been a mistake. Anakin’s arrogance and pride had taken the better of him and he had made a grievous mistake. Obi-Wans reflexes kicked in. Automatically his blade aimed for his toros, to cut his opponent in half and kill him instantly. But in the last moment his heart yelled at him, what the kriff he was doing! This man was his very soul! His still beating heart! The stupid reason to always stand up again. To always fight to get back. To never give in. Only to be able to look over him another day. To see him smile just one more time._

_In the last second Obi-Wan changed the angle of his swing. It was too late to stop it completely. He just hoped it was enough to miss him, although he knew exactly that this was his own grievous mistake, that would give Anakin the possibility to strike a deadly blow at him._

_He knew what would happen before it did. It had been too late. His blade cut through Anakin, severing both his legs and his arm, sending him to the ground and sliding down the slope directly towards the lava._

_Dread set into Obi-Wan as he watched what he had done. As he heard Anakin’s limbs fall into the ash around him and Anakin himself barely stopping himself from sliding directly into the deadly liquid. Instantly he stepped forward, following his innermost impulse to help his beloved Padawan. But halted as once again Yodas voice echoed through his head._

_He deactivated his lightsaber, stepping back again. Begging to the stars to see something, ANYTHING that would give him reason to believe that that bright, compassionate and loveable child was still somewhere in there. Just a piece of something. A word. A plea for help. A shift in his Force signature. Just the tiniest kriffing bit of hope, that with time there was a chance for him._

_But then Anakin looked up, and directly at him between those pained screams. And that beautiful deep blue of his eyes was scorched away by a sickening and revolting biting yellow color._

_Obi-Wans already broken heart shattered and fell apart._

_“You were the Chosen One!” He screamed. Tears welling up in his eyes. “It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!” And how much he has failed him! A prophecy hadn’t stood a chance against his utter incompetence. This was his fault. The center of his galaxy, was lying at his feet. Disfigured by his own hands. “Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in Darkness!” He continued and by now he didn’t even know if the wetness on his face was just the sweat or if he was crying._

_Averting his gaze, he picked up the lightsaber on the ground. He would not leave it here. Then he moved up the slope. Everything in his head was screaming at him. But he just had seen Vader killing the rest of Anakin that might have had been left. Still, he turned around again. Looking back at the broken body. He should at least kill him, spare him the pain instead of letting him die a slow and agonizing death. He just could not bring himself to activate his lightsaber again. He wanted to discard that goddamn thing into the lava!_

_“I HATE YOU!!!” Vader roared at him. And now he could see it. The Darkness around him. Tendrils of hatred coming to life and lashing out in anger at everything around them._

_“You were my brother, Anakin.” He answered, his voice full of pain. “I loved you.” And he still did. He would never stop. His heart and soul was lying disfigured at his feet. But this feeling for his beloved Padawan would never cease to exist. The only difference would be, that it would bring him pain, instead of joy from now on._

_Vader slid further down. When he came too close to the lava, he caught fire. The inhuman screams emanating from his throat would haunt Obi-Wan for the rest of his life. He looked away as fire engulfed him._

_And then he wanted to join him. He wanted to skid down the slope, pull him into a hug, place a kiss on his forehead and burn as Anakin did. Die together. Melt into one another for eternity so he would forever be able to stay with him._

_When he looked back, he was about to step forward. Leave everything behind. Stop to care about anything. Only Anakin mattered. And then he remembered two other people that mattered. Padmé and the unborn child. Anakin’s wife and kid. If he chose to stay here and die, would Treepio be intelligent enough to just leave at some point? Would she get help in time? Did she even need help? Maybe she was already up again and could decide her own path._

_But was he willing to just follow this selfish longing? To die here and stop all of these crushing emotions in exchange for securing Padmés wellbeing? Anakin would kick his ass for it._

_Reluctantly he stepped further back. His eyes lingering on those inviting flames. They would scorch the sins from his skin and give him some kind of peace. He was sure about it._

_And then he forced himself to avert his gaze. He would give in, if he stayed any longer. So, he left, accompanied by those agonized screams. He didn’t get far before his knees gave in and he stumbled to the ground raising his arms to keep himself on his knees instead of crashing into the ash. Tears were falling down and his vision was so blurry. His hitching breaths made it difficult to get enough air._

_He just wanted to give up. Curl into a ball and die. He had made so many mistakes. During this fight alone! What if he had chosen his words more carefully? If he had refused to fight? Even the possibility to agree to join Anakin on the Dark Side all of the sudden seemed to be the better choice than what he had ended up with. How in the Force had he been able to kriff up this much!?_

_No! No! Not now! Padmé! He needed to see to her! He would fall apart after he knew that she and the child were safe._

_Breathing controlled in and out he pushed himself back to his feet. His work was not done yet. He forced his feet forward, leaving the shattered pieces of his heart and soul on the ground to be covered by the falling ash and descend into oblivion._ >

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally the intention to go much more Dark Side in this chapter. But then I would have to remove the `Fix-it´ tag from my description as I realized there would have not been any coming back from what I have had in mind. I hope you still like it :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that´s it. 
> 
> This piece of fiction had generated way more hits and kudos, than I had expected. So, THANK YOU! Especially for the loveley comments some of you have left. It was really motivating to keep writing.  
> I hope you like the last one. It turend out to be longer, than I had planned. Hopefully not long enough to become broing.  
> Have fun ;)

He woke up with a start. Breathing heavily and irregular he stared at the black wall in front of him. Where was he?

“I am here.” A feminine voice whispered and made him jump. He looked into a young face, two scars trailing across the left side, big blue eyes, montrals, lekku, one badly harmed.

“Ahsoka?” He asked, not trusting his own eyes and somehow barely recognizing her. She smiled obviously relieved but still on edge. And he knew again, what this room was. Sighing he bend forward and ran a hand over his face. All of this was just so messed up. He could barely remember what had happened after he had kicked Anakin out of his mind. Only that he had thrown up over the side of the chair and then imagined lava closing in on them. He must have completely freaked out. He looked back up and around, searching for the deadly liquid. But there was none.

“Anakin carried you in a few hours ago. He said you showed him your memory of your fight and then had some kind of panic attack?” She explained. He just nodded. Yes. Some kind of panic attack. Paired with hallucinations. And vomit.

_“I HATE YOU!!”_

Obi-Wan flinched. His mind snapped back to years ago. And for a moment he was standing again on that slope. Watching Anakin burn. He shook his head. He needed to cage that beast again. As fast as possible!

“Where is he?” He wanted to know, shoving the impression of sizzling flesh as much away as possible. His brain was weirdly fuzzy. And something in his mind was occupying his attention, taking it from the outside and steering it back to his messed up inside. It felt strangely familiar. And fiercely threatening. He needed to meditate. Desperately. He hoped this second time it would be faster to close the memory off and that he even would be able to meditate. He did not have the time to dwell on it for a year.

“Back upstairs. He said he would organize a transport for us off this planet.” She said. Waiting a bit. “Letting us go.” But she seemed conflicted about it. And only now he realized that something was missing. His eyes dropped to her throat. The collar was gone. Anakin really meant it. He wanted them gone. Out of his life.

Obi-Wan knew exactly what he thought about that. He stood up, fist Anakin, then meditation! Maybe. Always first Anakin! But before he could march out the door, Ahsoka jumped right in front of it, baring it for him.

“No!” She exclaimed. “Not like this!” The fear in her eyes was almost throwing itself at him as her fingers clenched around the doorframe, to hold onto it, at least being a challenge for him to remove her out of his way, should he decide to force her aside. “You will just have another breakdown!”

A little surprised about this emotional breakout he halted. Ground teeth and determination as well as upcoming tears in those big blue eyes let him stop confused. “Ahsoka…” He started, but failed to think of something to say. He tried desperately to shut out the screams in his head. He didn’t have time for that now. He needed to stop Anakin from throwing him out!

“Please, Master.” She begged. “You can’t go to him. Not like that. You are already closing off.”

And he still didn’t understand. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked at her.

_“Don’t make me kill you!”_

Again, he shook his head. As the whole scenario started to play out again in his head.

“Do you even feel me in the Force?” She asked, letting go of the doorframe and stepping up to him. She reached for him and took one of his hands, placing it above her wild beating heart, while her other hand, found the way to his chest, setting down directly above his. “You are so closed up in your mind, I can’t feel you through our bond.”

Oh. That. That would explain why he hadn’t recognized her presence even before he woke up and then took a second to actually match her face to that of his second Padawan. The direct contact helped him to push back the horrid memory for a moment.

“You never even told me what had happened between you and Anakin on Mustafar. And now you’ve been there again. And its like you are a stranger in the Force. It reminds me of when Bail took me to see you. And its scaring the kriff out of me!” She explained.

_“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!”_ Anakin’s malicious voice rang out through his head and he jerked back. His chest hurt. And he retracted himself form the worried young woman. The memory tried to pull him in again. 

He looked at her uncertain. They had never met on Alderaan. He had been there for a while after Bail had found him. But he had never seen anyone except for Leia and Bail and Breha. He had mainly been in that outside place. Not in the palace. A big house, circling a beautiful garden. He had often been outside with Leia. He remembered that she had liked sitting on his foot, clutching his leg and squealing of joy every time he took a step with her like that. He had known by then, that the little girl was Force sensitive. Every time she had seen him, she had tried to connect their minds. It had seemed like a reflex. As if she had known that he was able to communicate with her on a level, no one else around her was able to. And a Force bond had been rapidly evolving in his mind. It had been almost terrifying how fast that adorable little girl had latched onto him.

Obi-Wan stretched out his senses. And Ahsoka was right. He didn’t feel her. It was like she wasn’t even there, even though he had felt her heart beating below his palm and the warmth of her hand radiating through the fabric and onto his chest just a moment ago. He hadn’t done that on purpose. And he should have had noticed that immediately after waking up. But he hadn’t. His head hurt.

“Don’t withdraw yourself from this world again, Obi-Wan. I beg you. It took you months on Alderaan in Leia´s company to get you out of that shutdown. I have visited you multiple times within a month and you never even looked at me. Like I wasn’t there at all.” She explained. “I have listened to you how you told Leia about her amazing mother, how much her eyes resemble hers, I have seen you levitating her favorite toy for her while telling a fairy tale including it to her, I have been there when you spoon fed her by levitating it across the whole garden, while she was playing in the mud and attacking everyone around her with it. Kriff, I have been there, when you actually had sat with her in a puddle of mud, playing with it. You have never seen me. Sometimes not even Breha, who was constantly there with you.” Tears ran down her face. “Don’t do that again.” She begged. “Stay with me! I can’t lose you again!”

Taken aback Obi-Wan looked at the young woman. Yes, he had told Leia about Padmé. Many times. But never when someone else was present. This had been something only between the two of them. Only little Leia had been allowed to hear his thoughts on that amazing woman that had died too soon.

“No.” He said, completely confused about how she knew about all of this. There never had been anyone except for Bail, Breha and Leia. Maybe they had told her? There was no memory of the young Togruta on Alderaan. He would have noticed her. How could he not have noticed his Padawan, if she had been there!?

A sizzling sound invaded his ears. The lights around him darkened and changed their color. Drifting towards a sickening orange. A shadow was building up to the right side of the door. And he looked away, knowing perfectly well, who it was, that would be standing there, if he looked there again.

When had he even left Alderaan anyway? Now that he tried to remember, everything was just a hazy blur. The clear memories were those of Leia, laughing and cuddling with him. How he read books to her, let toys float around her. He remembered only fuzzily how that adorable little girl had cried so hard, when he had handed her back to Bail after saying his goodbyes. She had felt that he didn’t plan to come back. It was better, that she didn’t remember him. But still she had stretched her short arms in his direction, wriggling in her adoptive father’s arms and drawing so much on the Force in her desperation that a vase beside them had cracked and fallen apart. Obi-Wan had been heartbroken to leave her. But his presence had posed a threat to the whole family. Bail should never have taken him there in the first place. He remembered the Senator being out of his mind about Obi-Wan leaving but he just could not remember for the life of him, what that had been about.

He had traveled back to Tatooine to check up on Luke, spend some days there, talked to Beru and Owen, told adorable little Luke about how much of a personality his sister had and somehow entangled himself not much later with a resistance group when he helped them escape from a Stormtrooper patrol that had been looking for them. And then he had met Ahsoka on Yavin, where the resistance group had a hideout.

Ahsoka had stepped outside from the old Massasi Temple the group had been hiding in, to greet the arriving men, that had taken him to Yavin. Their leader still had stood by Obi-Wans side, explaining how things were working out for them, and that he would take him to their leader. He had felt her presence, but that feeling had only made sense, when he had caught sight of her face. Surprised he had called out her name. She had looked so much more grown since he had seen her the last time. So adult. Almost as tall as Obi-Wan was. And her round face had grown long and into that of a woman rather than that of the girl he had known. It had been irritating the first moment. She had frozen in her place. Her anxious and pained expression had resolved into one of joy and relieve when she heard her name and she had rushed towards him and flung her arms around him, crying into his shoulder and practically clawing at their bond to let her in. It had felt so desperate. Like someone drowning trying to hold on to a floating piece of wood. That was when he had noticed, that his shield had been raised up to an almost maximum, letting barely anything through it.

It had been Yavin. She had not been on Alderaan.

 _“If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.”_ No. No. No. No. No. Not now. Not now. Not now! Shaking his head again, he touched his forehead.

“Obi-Wan, I know this is not the ideal moment to talk about your trauma. You never reacted to that topic the least bit acceptable, but you can’t have that kind of meltdown here on Mustafar!” Ahsoka insisted. “You won’t come back from that. We don’t have Leia to snap you out of it. So please, I beg you, let me help you deal with that memory. You told me once you caged it. I can help you to do that again. You don’t have to do it alone. You are not alone. We are family.”

Obi-Wan stared at her. Right into those big blue eyes full of sorrow and fear on the brink to horror. A second later he wasn’t sure anymore, whose eyes those were, that he was looking into. And why they made him feel this guilty and inadequate and wrong.

“No!” She grabbed his arms, squeezing hard, shaking him. “Anakin!” She yelled desperate. “Anakin needs you! You can’t shut down now! I can’t deal with him! You are the only one, he might listen to! He´ll just descend back into complete Darkness without you!” Scared the young woman looked at him. Searching something in his eyes.

Anakin. Anakin. Anakin.

 _“I HATE YOU!!!”_ Sharp pain shot through his head and he hissed, recoiling. But the Togruta didn’t let him go. Something was prickling on his skin beneath the fabric, where she touched him. He knew that feeling. The presence of his Padawan. Ahsoka. But it was dulled and dying down quickly. Like his skin was growing thicker, shutting the pulse of her Force signature out.

Obi-Wan didn’t want to show her what had happened. She would see at least some of it, if he let her in right now. It would pain her to see it. To see what both of her Masters had done to each other. What Anakin had done to his pregnant wife.

Pressing his eyelids together he tried to concentrate. Tried to ignore the roaring beast that was wreaking havoc in his mind. What choices did he have? He didn’t know how long he would last until he broke down completely. Definitely not enough to get Anakin back, who was probably in a delicate state as well. Seeing those sick yellow eyes right now would more likely even trigger an episode. Obi-Wan was not even able to reach out to him. His own shields stopped him from even approaching that still scarred and festering door of his. His own mind was turning against him. Back then, after securing Luke and Leia there had not been a problem with that. He had had nothing left. He hadn’t cared about losing his mind. Anakin was now here. He didn’t have a year to come back from that! Anakin needed him now!

“Okay.” He breathed uncertain. He had run out of options. No matter how much the idea of Ahsoka seeing his memories terrified him, the only other option was to let down Anakin. Again. And he was nowhere near proud enough to let that happen.

“Okay.”, Ahsoka repeated, nodding affirmative. Hope sparking up in her blue eyes. “Comme on.” Gently she guided him back to the bed and directed him to sit against the headboard, sitting down between his legs and leaning back against him, resting her head on his shoulder, taking his hands an wrapping his arms around her. “Its alright. You are not alone. Just let me in.” She murmured, closed her eyes, her hands holding on to his arms with a reassuring grasp.

A warm sensation sprung to life in Obi-Wans chest and he pulled her even further into that cocooning hug, leaned his face against her montral and closed his eyes as well, deforming his Force signature as much as possible to enclose her and feeling her own brush against his, trying to connect.

When he let his raging mind pull him in, it plummeted him into a sea of Red. His mind was boiling with lava. Hot and deadly and all consuming. It brought him down to his knees instantly. He tried to find a way to Ahsoka’s door. But he felt disoriented. And the liquid was creeping up his legs, trying to drain his conviction and resolve and just dismantle any thought to pull him into a deep pit of pain and horror and despair.

_“Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the Dark Side as you do.”_

A bang sounded through his mind and made the lava shy back from him. Painful screams echoed around him and averted his attention again. Another bang followed.

_“I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!”_

Ahsoka.

_“You underestimate my power!”_

He forced himself back up on his feet.

_“I HATE YOU!!!”_

Ahsoka. He needed to let Ahsoka in. Another banging sound directed him to his right. The outlines of the familiar door formed out of thin air and Obi-Wan turned to it. But before he could touch the surface the silhouette of a gorgeous young woman manifested right in front of him. Kind brown, determined eyes let him freeze in place.

Everything died down around him. Like it was too respectful to this beautiful appearance to dare to rage around it. An Angel in the deepest pits of hell.

“There you are.” She said. Her voice was warm and almost pleased. “You’ve been avoiding me.” Her tone an amused and playful scold. A small smile spread on her lips. That smile, that had always been so persuasive and reassuring. That one, she had always greeted him with, showing how much she appreciated his friendship and how much she felt the same towards him. Exactly how he remembered it.

“I… am sorry.” Obi-Wan answered. Somehow, he still knew he was just talking to himself. He was literally in his own head! He should just ignore her and reach for the door. Or should he? What door was he even searching for?

“You’ve been sorry for quite much within the last years, Obi-Wan.” She agreed.

“I am trying to fix this.”

“It’s been a long time.” She said. Her right eyebrow cracked and she seemed not convinced. “I asked you on my deathbed to rescue him. I told you, there was good in him. And you just chose to run and hide. Shrivel in your own self-pity. You let him become that oppressing monster. You have left him to the mercy of an evil Sith Lord. All the pain, all the suffering in the galaxy is your doing. You were the one, who could have stopped it.”

“I know.” He admitted. And Padmé smiled sadly. Obviously hurting herself.

“And you think you can save him now?” she continued. “You are the one who ruined him. I have seen that loveable child that he had been, too. You have really worked wonders to destroy that.”

A bang let him almost jump out of his skin. Padmés angelic face flickered. A moment Obi-Wan was completely disoriented. Then he saw the door again, right behind the beautiful figure. The door. Ahsoka. Anakin.

“No matter what it is that you do. It will always be yours. Your blame. Your doing. Your sin. You should be thrown into a prison cell and locked in for eternity.” Padmé continued. And she was right. She was so right.

Anakin.

With the last strength he had, he reached out. His fingers barely touched the door. His eyes glued to those deep and warm brown eyes within the even and spotless skin of that remarkable and strong-willed woman he always had respected so much. But it was enough. The Angel in front of him smiled once more that sad and rueful smile, before it dissolved into wafts of mist and disappeared as light form outside poured in spread out around him. It took him a moment to actually understand, that the presence he let into his mind was that of Ahsoka. He still felt Padmé lingering in his peripheral vision. Watching. Judging.

The Light folded itself around him, clutching to him and Obi-Wan felt affection, determination and concern wash over him. His surroundings shattered again. The Red closed in on him and agonized inhuman screams echoed around him once more.

Ahsoka’s Force signature wrapped itself tighter around him, biting back the Red and the heat so it was not able to creep up his feet and legs. 

_“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!”_

Obi-Wan felt loathing yellow eyes staring at him.

_“You turned her against me!”_

He stood up. He had not even realized, that he had been on his knees. Turning towards the raging beast, he stared right onto that flaming lump on the ground. Encouraged thanks to the benevolent presence of his second Padawan, lending him strength. He stepped closer. The Red shied away. The buzzing and cracking of lightsabers turned up, while the lump on the floor turned its head towards him. Staring with piercing yellow eyes in that burned and melting face.

_“I HATE YOU!!!”_

_In horror Obi-Wan watched that flaming and disfigured thing standing up, with legs that should not be there and as it had straightened itself; a long and heavy cloak was billowing around that massive, blurred form of Darth Vader. In full armor and the pained and labored breaths drowning out any other noise._

“Don’t act like that. This is your doing. You left me burning alive!” Vader roared.

And this was not right. This was not a memory from back then! This was just weeks old!

Blood started pouring out between Vaders armor parts. Slowly running down the black fabric, covering him in the sticky substance and pooling at his feet as its sickening smell invaded Obi-Wans senses.

Petrified the Jedi just stared.

“Like what you see, Master?” Vader spit angry. Slowly the massive Darkness stepped closer, leaving a trail of boiling dark red blood behind it. Sizzling on the ground like acid and producing black mist that invaded the floor. Sharp. Aggressive. Burning. Gnawing.

“You are a pet. When I tell you to bend over and spread your legs, you will do so.” The malice in his voice was biting in Obi-Wans ears.

Obi-Wans hands trembled and the oppressive Darkness around him was closing in, when the Light around him lashed out, hit the approaching Sith Lord and he faded into nothing, melt with the surroundings and vanished. Joined Padmé in the periphery of his vision. Scared for her, the Jedi looked around frantically. Vader must not get his hands on that pure Angel!

_“You are delusional if you really think you could save me from the Dark Side, old man. Anakin Skywalker was weak. And I destroyed him. No amount of melancholy will change that.”_

Breathing became barely possible anymore as his chest seemed to be crushed by an invisible force. The screams around him got louder again, paired with the hissing of clashing lightsabers. Everything dulled down a little, when Ahsokas presences coiled again around him. Sending soothing waves over their bond so full of love and concern and devotion.

This was not real! Nothing here was real! Padmé was dead. And Vader was not invading his mind! He concentrated on the only thing, that was still real and of any significance now. 

Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka.

Drawing strength from the young Togruta, who was willingly giving it to him, he reached out with his senses and poked through his own mind. Searching for every part of the rampant running memory that was infecting everything.

Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka.

Stepping forward he willed it to condense in one place. Pulling it from the deepest parts of his mind. Ripping it off of anywhere it tried to hold on to. Dragging it into one closed off corner, where he could throw and lock it in. Digging another pit for it to stuff it into.

Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka.

Ahsoka’s presence around him cleared his path, shoving everything away that was trying to jump him and sink its teeth into his flesh. The pulse of their bond strong and reassuring. He knew how to tame that beast. He had done it once already. It was far easier to just repeat it, than having to figure it out for the first time. The Light presence at his side was giving him the possibility to focus on that task, ignoring the alluring and distracting madness and chaos.

Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka. Anakin. Ahsoka.

The beast was thrashing and clawing and spiting acid as Obi-Wan forced it into the bottomless pit, throwing bars on top of it to prevent it from reemerging and sealing it as fiercely as he could. Just like the last time. A cage to be stuffed into one corner and forgotten about. Ignored every time anything leaked out and creeped back into his attention.

A faint wailing was emitting from it, but it was unimportant. He felt the delight through their bond and then Ahsoka grabbed him and ripped him out of this subconscious state. Together they emerged back in the real world.

“I am so sorry.” Ahsoka whispered under her breath, her voice cracking. Tears were sliding down her cheeks and she turned around, slung her arms around him and pulled him into an almost bone crushing hug. She held onto the open bond between them and he let her. Closing his arms around that amazing woman, he leaned into this display of affection. Sharing his own anguish for the first time in its full devastating amount with someone else. Letting someone in. Accepting help.

A wave of pure love and hope washed through their link over him and soothing warmth spread in his chest that reached even his fingertips. They stayed like that for an amount of time Obi-Wan couldn’t grasp. Allowing their emotions to flow free between them, connecting on a level neither of them had before with one another.

Smiling, but with tears-streaked cheeks, Ahsoka pulled back at last. “We will work on that.” She said. Nodding to assure herself. Her hands reached towards his face and she wiped away the trails that Obi-Wans own tears had left. “Just don’t close off again, Master.”

“I won’t.” He promised. Up until now, he hadn’t realized how much he had hurt her by keeping her out of all of this. He felt how those memories she had seen in his mind had an impact on her. How much it had mortified her to see and hear all of this. But at the same time a massive amount of relief had washed over her as it put her in a position to understand at last, what was throwing her Master so much into despair at times, that he would shut down so completely sometimes for hours. She had felt just helpless. It had been maddening for her. Now she knew how to deal with it, where it came from.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” Obi-Wan said, when the young woman detached herself and stood up.

“I know. You thought you were protecting me.” She answered with a smile. They didn’t need to talk about how much of an idiotic idea that had been. And Obi-Wan was irritated by the fact, that he had not seen that before. Indeed, the connection to his second Padawan was shining within his mind like never before. Solid and deeply rooting, expanding swiftly and claiming its surroundings. Bringing calm and steadiness with it. Had there still been a Jedi Order, it would be scowled upon how much of an attachment it was evolving into.

Her eyes flickered to the door, as she felt something approaching, as well as Obi-Wan did. Just seconds later Toobee stepped into the room.

“Oh, at last. I see you are done with the healing-session?” It piped up. “You have missed two meals. I am sure you are starving by now. I was already contemplating to interrupt you.”

Obi-Wan felt Ahsoka’s amusement over the droid.

“Well, I am starving.” She agreed. “But we have more important things to do.” And she looked back to the other Jedi.

“Yes. I guess we do.” He affirmed, standing up as well. “Will you find a way to grant Ahsoka access to upstairs?” He was already searching for Anakin’s presence in his mind. But there was nothing. He must have closed his door really firmly. He couldn’t say where exactly he was. Only that it was near and that he was alive.

“As Lord Vader has updated Ahsoka’s status, I think I could find some way to find an excuse.” The droid answered.

“Perfect as always.” Obi-Wan said.

Toobee insisted on Ahsoka to take her painkillers, before he unlocked the elevator for them. Both Jedi went up, through the circular room and back into the room Obi-Wan had left just a few hours ago. He felt Anakin’s presence in there. They were near enough to each other, that their bond told him no matter how much Anakin’s door was shut.

“We are not leaving!” Obi-Wan exclaimed immediately. The Darkness that had ruled this room was gone. Only some residue was lazily swirling around on the floor, spread thin. Walking up to the chair Obi-Wan halted when he looked into that broken face of his former Padawan. He was bend over, his elbows on his knees, his face half supported by his hands and directed downwards. With wide-eyes, half open mouth, furrowed eyebrows Anakin stared into nothing on the floor. The circles under his eyes were black now and every white spot of his eyes was red. Has he still not slept? “Anakin?” The Jedi asked carefully. His aura was still deep dark, but the tendrils were so still and pressed against their master, that they were barely visible. And he noticed him still wearing the bottom part of Vader’s armor. Feeling very displeased about that.

Ahsoka had been a little surprised by the destructed room and had looked around for a moment, before she caught up to him, casting her eyes down at her former Master as well.

It took Anakin some time, but then he moved. He closed his mouth, gulped and looked up, returning Obi-Wans gaze, then Ahsoka’s, then back to Obi-Wan, before he directing his gaze back down, ran his hands over his face, pressing the ball of his hands into his eyes. “You can’t stay here.” He murmured exhausted.

“Neither can you, SkyGuy.” Ahsoka answered with a soft tone and crouched down in front of him. He flinched when he heard that old nickname his Padawan had given him so long ago. But she just lay a tentative hand onto his thigh, just above where his elbows were meeting his knees. “This is not a good place for you.”

Slowly Anakin turned his head. His eyes locked with the young woman. For seconds they just looked at each other, before his eyes dropped to the crippling wound, he had inflicted on her. Recoiling he pressed back into the chair, eyes wide and full of horror. Apparently at last realizing, what he had done to that little girl, that had been a daughter rather than a Padawan to him.

Swiftly Obi-Wan swept in. “Anakin.” He caught his attention easily and Ahsoka, seeing what her sight was doing to her former Master, made room for him willingly. He took both metallic hands in his. “We will not abandon you.” He assured him and went down into the same position that the young woman had taken before.

Yellow eyes were staring at him like he had just proposed an atrocity. But Obi-Wan squeezed his hands reassuringly, returning this incredulous look with one full of determination. Because it was true. If Anakin wanted him gone, he would have to deal with as much resistance as there was possible.

“I don’t want you to burn with me.” Anakin said at last. “You would, if I kept you here.”

“I don’t have to take care of anyone anymore.” Obi-Wan answered. “I´d rather burn with you than lose you again.” A wave of sorrow swept over from Ahsoka through their bond and he felt her nudge the door gently to close it a little. Making it less permeable for her emotions.

And then Anakin bend down again, skidding forward on the chair, and placed his forehead on Obi-Wans shoulder. “I love you, Master.”

“I love you too, dear one.” He always had. And always will. Even though they probably didn’t mean the same.

Anakin wrapped his arms around him and sobbed, while Obi-Wan stroke over his back, holding him. He would never leave his side again. He pushed his face into Anakin’s neck and waited, enjoying the proximity. After some time, the robotic arms lost their grip and slid down his back to the floor. Carefully the Jedi turned his head and looked at his former Padawan. His eyes were closed. His breathing calm and even. Did he actually just fall asleep on him?

He looked around for Ahsoka. She had stepped back and was leaning against a wall, eyeing him with a mix of curiosity and concern. She was hesitantly poking around their link. Her eyes fixated on him in a kind of intense manner. But a smile dissolved that expression when she realized him looking at her.

Slowly Obi-Wan rose to his feet, pushing Anakin back into the chair. How did he usually sleep? Did he have some kind of bed up here? Did he sleep in this chair? Without his mask? Toobee would probably be able to answer that question. But since the droid wasn’t here, he and Ahsoka just took the liberty to sling Anakin’s arms over their shoulders, using the Force to help them with the weight, and walked out of the room with him hanging between them. He was so far gone, he didn’t even twitch.

Together they brought him to their floor and laid him down on their bed. He tossed around restless until the young woman climbed into bed next to him and put a hand on his forehead, touching his Force signature with her own. Tears in her eyes as she murmured “We are here, SkyGuy.” With a bitter smile on her face, she slid down until she lay at his side, pressing her face into his shoulder, an arm thrown around his torso.

Taking this opportunity, he pushed one of the buttons over the nightstand. It took Toobee only two minutes to walk into the room, halting, looking from one of them to the other and deciding then to turn to Obi-Wan.

“Oh my.” It exclaimed. “I guess I´ll get the medical equipment as long as he is out and can’t order me to stop fussing about him.” With these words it was gone again and Obi-Wan tried to find a way to get the boots off. But he didn’t succeed to find a way to get them off until the droid was back and hushed him away. It threw a lump of clothes onto the bed. “I thought you would like these on him.” Toobee commented and started to work on the right arm stump. Curiously Ahsoka sat back up, remaining a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, watching Obi-Wan unfolding the clump of fabric. It was a plain attire. Rougher than anything that Obi-Wan had in his wardrobe. Linen. Light beige for the tunic and light brown for the pants. It was a loose cut and resembled what Jedi had used to wear a lot.

Ahsoka laughed quietly. “He will hate those.”

“Utterly.” Toobee confirmed, shot Obi-Wan a look and resumed with the treatment.

Incredulously Obi-Wan stared at it. This was… weird. Why did Toobee even have things like that? He hadn’t been able to bring him something out of linen back than when Obi-Wan had asked the first time. Silently the Jedi watched as the droid treated the wound on both upper stumps with Ahsoka’s help. Then it removed any lower armor and got to work on the leg stumps. There was really not as much damage there as on his upper body. Only on the hips the amor has ducked in deep and left bleeding gashes, that were now covered by bandages.

“Why was the armor doing this to him? And the protheses?” Obi-Wan asked, dropping the clothes back onto the bed.

“They are a bad fitting.” Toobee answered.

“It has been years, Toobee.” Obi-Wan insisted.

“I am not sure.” The droid said. He paused, then looking back at the Jedi before continuing with his treatment. “His answer depended on the mood I caught him in. Sometimes it was Palpatine who wanted him so suffer, sometimes he felt like he deserved it. Sometimes it was a source to channel his power. I am not sure even he knows himself what was holding him back from doing something about it.”

“Is that why he was walking around with a ripped open torso instead of using the Bacta tank? As some kind of self-flagellation?” Ahsoka chimed in, while helping Toobee dressing the left leg.

“Partly, I guess. However, because of his condition he had been exposed to Bacta quite frequently and had started to develop a resistance towards it. We try to use it as little as possible. Only in severe emergencies.” Toobee completed the treatment and told them they could dress him now, which Obi-Wan and Ahsoka did.

“What about the nutritional infusion?” Obi-Wan saw the droid pack everything.

“It was administered through his armor. Now that it is gone; I need his consent to administer it as long as he is not in a life-threatening condition. And he is not. Yet.”

“I understand. Thank you.”

“Please don’t hesitate to call me, should any problem arise.”

Toobee left them and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan pushed Anakin more to the middle of the bed so Obi-Wan could crawl in as well. But before they could lay down, Toobee barged back in, carrying a tray loaded with food, insisting both guests would eat something. They obliged, thanking it as they shared whatever Toobee had brought them.

Then Ahsoka slid down again and wrapped an arm around Anakin’s torso, pressing her face int ohis shoulder. Obi-Wan followed her example and spread his Force signature over him, meeting Ahsoka’s halfway, and they merged into a bulb of protective affection.

Obi-Wan felt calm, and when he closed his eyes, sleep came over him easily.

When he opened his eyes again, he looked straight into deep yellow ones. Anakin lay on his side, staring at him in a kind of intense manner. Obi-Wan repressed his initial reaction to flinch when he met those Sith eyes. The black circles below them were not completely gone, but much better.

“Good morning.” The Jedi greeted quietly. “I hope you slept well.”

Anakin raised his hand and ever so tender, pushed a stray strand back from Obi-Wans face. His fingers lingered on his forehead, trailing down to his eyebrow and then over his temple and cheek down to his lips. Before retracting his hand as if he had burned himself. His eyes wide he stared at Obi-Wan, then he jumped up and out of the bed.

Ahsoka on his other side looked up sleepy and confused. Anakin was out the door, when Obi-Wan told her to stay there and then rushed after the other man.

“Anakin!” He called out. He caught his arm. “Don’t do that! Don’t bar me out!” He demanded.

“Take your hands off me!” Anakin yelled slapping them away. And retreating another step while staring at Obi-Wan wide-eyed.

“Okay.” The Jedi raised both his hands slowly, showing him his palms. “I won’t touch you. But… what did just happen in there?” Carefully he tried to feel through their bond, but the other side was shut.

“I…” He started but stopped again. He ran a hand over his face, grinding his teeth, then looked up. “Back in there, when I stared at you, I seriously considered to just force myself upon you. Right then and there. Right beside Ahsoka.” He looked to the ground, apparently not able to meet Obi-Wans gaze.

This, Obi-Wan understood. The scared reaction about his own thoughts and cravings was completely comprehensible. The still unhinged side of him used to take what it wanted, so of course he would at least think about it. Wouldn’t he? And his infatuation with him would not disappear magically. No matter where his feelings for him came from, if it was a residue from his childhood crush, an unhealthy projection from what he had felt for Padmé, the influence of him being the one who has touched him after so long for the first time or something else, the strength of it obviously scared him. And drove him away.

“You would never do that to me.” Obi-Wan said completely convinced of his own words. If he were able to do it to him, he would have had raped him senseless by now.

“How are you so sure about it!? I can barely hold back from slamming you into that wall and rip off your clothes!” He shouted while eyeing him hungrily. And then immediately took another step back. And yes, maybe that could happen. Maybe Anakin would force a kiss upon him, grope him in inappropriate places but not much more. After all, he did love him. Howsoever that had happened. Obi-Wan still didn’t understand that part. He doubted he ever would.

“I consent.” The Jedi said, reaching a decision.

“What!?” Completely dumbfounded Anakin stared at him.

“I consent.” Obi-Wan repeated. “You will not harm me. I know you won’t. But if something happens, if you lose control for a minute… or longer, I want you to know, that it is ok. Whatever you feel you can’t stop yourself from doing to me, I consent.”

For a moment Anakin seemed curious, obviously contemplating something. Then he shook his head slowly. “You are a mindless, infuriating idiot!” Anakin snapped at him through gritted teeth.

“So, I’ve heard.” Obi-Wan affirmed. “Don’t forget stubborn. Because I will not let this go.”

“You don’t want this! You would just endure it. And that is like your whole theme! You would just take any blow as long as you can protect someone with it! And this consent is nothing but a way for you to protect my feelings, when I slip up and force you into something! After what I’ve done to you, I don’t deserve your protection! And certainly not in that way!”

“Anakin, most of what you’ve done is my fault! No one deserves my concern and protection more than you do!”

And again, Anakin seemed speechless. For a moment he looked like he would just break down any second, then he crossed the distance between them and went down on one knee before him. “Don’t say something like that, Master.” He exclaimed and reached for Obi-Wans hands, bringing them to his lips, placing tender kisses on his knuckles. “I was the idiot who let the Sith lies confuse me. I should have trusted you. I should have known; you never would have tried to harm me! Don’t you dare to burden yourself with my stupid decisions! After all this time!”

With a sad smile Obi-Wan looked down on the bald head. He could see hair sprouting from it. Brown, like the color it had before Mustafar. Apparently, his healing had kicked off even that. It looked irregular and patchy. He loosened one of his hands out of Anakin’s clutches and placed it upon his head, trailing it across the skin, feeling the stubble beneath his fingers.

“Lets just leave.” Obi-Wan said. “You don’t need this anymore. We can find someone to make fitting protheses for you in the Outer Rim. We can just turn our backs. Stay out of this.” He proposed. They could just go to one of his hideouts. He had even one back on Tatooine. It would be dangerously close to Luke, but he doubted Anakin would even try to look for his son, as he didn’t know he had one. And as long as they would not meet with him, there should not be a problem. Owen and Beru should not have told Luke who his father had been, though. It was dangerous. To keep the last name Skywalker was dangerous. He would probably go there with him, when he deemed it save to inform him about his sons’ existence.

“But… we don’t have to run away.” Anakin objected, looking up. He placed another kiss on Obi-Wans hand, before he stood up, catching his other one once more. “Palpatine will summon me at some point. I can overthrow him.” He explained like it was nothing. And Obi-Wans head started spinning, as he recognized what his former Padawan was talking about. He knew, what his next words would be. “And together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.”

Obi-Wans stomach turned as he stared into those sickening yellow eyes. The up to now lazy tendrils started to move around them, stretching to engulf the Jedi. In the back of his mind inhumane screams erupted and he cringed away. “I will lay down the Empire at your feet.” Anakin pressed on, stepping up and into his personal space. “For you.” He insisted. Eyeing him intensely, hungry, he raised one of Obi-Wans hands to his lips and planted a tender Kiss on his fingers. Obi-Wans ears picked up a humming noise. A noise he would anywhere determine as that of a lightsaber. But there was none. It was so loud it should be right in front of his eyes. Terrified he tried to kick his memories back down to shut them up. This was no situation for another of his stupid breakdowns! He had just succeeded in caging them again.

“Don’t, Anakin.” This was not happening. Not again! He tried to step back, but was stopped by the other man, who didn’t let go of his hands. Instead, he was pushed against the wall which took away most of his possibilities to move.

“Last time you regretted not to fall with me. And I know you have it in you. You know the Dark Side. You told me about Maul and I felt it when you demolished the room a few days ago. You would be so powerful on the Dark Side. Nothing would ever stop the two of us together. It never has. Together we would be invincible.” Anakin whispered against his lips. He sounded so inviting, so alluring. He let go of Obi-Wans hands and settled his own on Obi-Wans hips. And the Jedi tried not to think of that lurking Darkness in the room just a few feet away, that was now locked behind demolished door. He could still feel it. Still feel how it clung to the crushed furniture, how the whirls of the Force inside that room were twisted and wicked, calling to him, trying to lure him in, to dwell on the power in there and latch onto his mind to invade and deprave it. It gave him the creeps whenever he thought about it. “You sure, you don’t want this, actually?” Anakin twisted his head a little and bend down further. Obi-Wans breath hitched when he felt rough lips at his throat, below his ear. Placing soft kisses on this sensitive part of his skin. Shivers ran down his spine. “Your memories were so full of devotion to me, those desperate thoughts about how you care for me. You wanting to die with me. To stay together forever. I am your heart and soul, the center of your galaxy. Nothing but me matters. Have you actually secretly wanted me, Master? You should have just said so and I would have happily obliged. I would have had made you moan my name in pleasure throughout the whole frigid Jedi Temple.”

Wide-eyed Obi-Wan stared at the man before him, when he looked up again. He felt his own heartbeat in his throat, confusion rising within him, while a faint feeling of longing accompanied by disgust started to pitch in and claw at the surface of his awareness.

Anakin smirked. “You didn’t even realize it, did you?” He said.

“But…” Obi-Wan felt weird. His chest was constricting again. Anakin placed one hand under Obi-Wans chin, pushing it a little up. Slowly he leaned in. Letting Obi-Wan so much time to turn his head away. But he didn’t. He froze. His heart was beating in his throat. And then their lips touched. Hesitantly, tender, not even comparable to the first aggressive and violent kiss Vader had forced upon him. This was sweet. And exciting. And hopeful. And gentle. This was Anakin. Warmth spread in his entire body and his heart decided to skip a beat. His whole body started tingling weirdly and a throaty sound escaped him while his stomach was twisting in a knot. His eyes fell shut and he leaned further in without even thinking, tilting his head, so they could reduce the space between them more. Anakin obliged and intensified the kiss, licking his lower lip, asking for entrance.

That’s when Obi-Wans mind snapped back to attention. He flinched, tuning his head to the side. This was preposterous! Anakin had been his Padawan! He had been his Master! Something like that was disgusting!

“Obi-Wan…” Anakin sounded annoyed now.

“No!” The Jedi contradicted instantly, grabbed Anakin’s shoulders and pushed, while keeping his face turned away. But Anakin didn’t move an inch, stemming himself against Obi-Wans hands, staying bend over him, his lips just above his cheek.

“Are you seriously refusing me because of the stupid, antiquated code of a fallen order?” Anger rose in Anakin that was shown in the agitated bearings of his aura as well as his growling voice. At last, he leaned away some, giving Obi-Wan space to think. 

“This has nothing to do with the Jedi Code!” Obi-Wan retorted. It was surprising even him how true that was. His aversion about this was not in any way rooted in the Jedi teachings. He had vowed to live by the code. And right now, he couldn’t care less about it. The Code had never had a place in between him and his Padawan, he realized. After all, even back then Obi-Wan never had cared about it when it came to Anakin. Not really. He may have never had acknowledged it back then but he had damn well behaved like it. He turned his gaze back and on the other man, eyeing him. And he caught himself looking at the torn lips. No wonder they had felt this rough. Anakin really needed to eat and drink something. The Dark Side kept him going for now, but it would seriously interfere with his health if he kept refusing food as well as the infusions. “This is basic morality! I raised you, Anakin! Feeling this towards you…” And he was not even sure what `this´ was. But as it made him feel like it had while Anakin had kissed him, had made him lean into the kiss, had made him want to further reduce the space between them, it was definitely not tolerable. “… is just sick.”

“My mother raised me.” Anakin contradicted. “You taught me.”

“Then I am just a lecherous teacher!?” Upset he shot an angry look at the other man. Anakin should be as disgusted by this as Obi-Wan was! “That is so much better, considering you were nine, when I took you as my Padawan!”

“Moments ago, you didn’t even know what you were feeling for me, and now you just assume you felt like it from the beginning!?” Exasperated Anakin threw his arms in the air and stepped a bit back so Obi-Wan was not pressed so much against the wall anymore. “I remember exactly when I realized that I wanted to push my tongue down your throat.” Anakin started to explain. “I was fourteen. And you had placed me in one of those beginners’ classes with Yoda and a whole bunch of Younglings to get me the theoretical background about Jedi culture and teachings since I never had received any of those. You had promised me sword training afterwards so I went to the training hall and that open bond between us told me exactly where to look for you anyway. When I had arrived, I was greeted by a large crowd of spectators who were watching you and Windu in a training combat. You were showing off your Soresu skills and Windu didn’t get even one hit through your defenses. Everyone was cheering around me and all people were whispering about how amazing you were to hold yourself against Windu like that. It was nothing new to me. I knew I got the best Jedi as my Master there was. But it felt good to hear others realizing how amazing you are. And I felt so proud of being your Padawan. And so grateful for you to put up with me and dedicating yourself so much to my training.”

Obi-Wan remembered that day. He had gone to the training hall because of that promised training to Anakin. Back then they had never talked about the meeting place, because they would feel where the other one was, and find each other anyway. Sometimes not even about time, as they would just poke through the bond to signal that now would be a good time. They had back than a rather intricate system to communicate this way worked out. It had been something Anakin had taken great joy to create when they had first started to develop a bond.

Obi-Wan had felt through the whole class how bored Anakin had been and had been looking forward to spend the rest of the day with him. Mace had just finished with a beginner’s class in the hall and had asked him to spar. Obi-Wan had expected to lose within a minute and had been himself completely surprised when the fight had gone on and on and people had started to gather at the sidelines. He had felt his Padawan arrive as well, joining the excited crowd and feeling so proud and satisfied about all the comments around him. And Obi-Wan would just have had rolled his eyes at him. Anakin had always been too much focused on appearances and gratification and recognition. Things like that were unimportant within the Jedi Order. Although Obi-Wan had always been full of praise for him.

In the end the fight had ended in a draw, when Ki-Adi-Mundi had stepped up to them, reminding Mace how late he was for a meeting with the Chancellor and Yoda. Completely surprised the Jedi Master had looked at the other one, reluctantly back at Obi-Wan and then had stopped the fight, apologizing for this abrupt end and with the promise to repeat this. He had smiled at him, patting his shoulder and said how flawless his Soresu was. That Obi-Wan was a true Master of this lightsaber form and he would love for him to join him the next time he would hold a class about that.

Obi-Wan had been completely taken by surprise about this and felt himself blushing in response to the embarrassment that had spread in his chest. Mace never had seen eye to eye with him before. And he had certainly never smiled at him before. Obi-Wan had always been the Padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn to him. Of a Jedi who always had openly challenged and often disobeyed the Jedi Code in situations he had deemed necessary. Who had seen the flaws and complications within those boundaries and criticized the Council about its stagnant ways. But then Mace had just laughed once more at his reaction and had told him to just take the well-deserved compliment. It had been the beginning of a friendship as Mace had started to call quite often upon him for training or class and even had started to consult him about other topics too. The death of Mace Windu had been one of the more painful friendship bonds that had been cut all those years ago.

A pang of jealousy had averted Obi-Wans attention from Mace to Anakin, who had been staring at him out of the crowd. At first Obi-Wan had been unsure if the emotion he received through their open bond was actually real or if he was somehow imagining things. Where was this feeling coming from? Why would Anakin stare at him intensely like that, feeling jealous about… what had he felt jealous about?

And then Mace had bowed his head in Obi-Wans direction as he said his goodbyes to him, baffling Obi-Wan with this respectful gesture even more, making him turn just a shade darker. He had retreated with Ki-Adi-Mundi and Obi-Wan had been swarmed by Younglings who told him how amazing he had fought and Padawans that had been attracted by the fight as well as some Knights. But then Anakin had been there, taking his hand and pulling at it, all that jealousy and anger swirling around them. It had irritated Obi-Wan completely and he had returned kind words to all of the children and his fellow Knights, before he had given in and let himself get dragged out of the training hall by his Padawan and back to their joined quarters. In silence as Anakin hadn’t reacted to anything Obi-Wan had said on the way.

“I wanted to rip out Windus throat.” Anakin explained now. “I had never seen you blush before. You were always so collected and in control of yourself and your surroundings so… serene. Seeing how you lost that for this moment so utterly made something klick in my head. And I wanted to make you blush because of me. Make you lose your cool about me. And when we were alone again after that, and I looked at you, still all flushed and covered with sweat from the fight, crouching down in front of me and asking worried what was riling me up so much, I just wanted to grab you and press my lips against yours. If I ever had seen anything to encourage me, I would just have crawled into your bed at night. Your feelings back then were those of family. I know it. Because you never closed that damn bond. And it was driving me up the walls to feel this platonic devotion all the time when I just wanted to push you down and devour you! You have no idea what I was imagining every time to do to you when you forced me to sit down opposite of you to meditate.” The hungry expression returned to these yellow eyes. Anakin reached up and laced his fingers through Obi-Wans unkempt hair. It had grown again. Not so much as his beard had. In contrast to that it still looked like a wanted style. Slowly Anakin leaned in again, lingering just above Obi-Wans lips. His forearm now propped against the wall at the side to the Jedis head, the other was back at his hip.

The Jedi Master just stared at him. Did Anakin interpret this right? Was that what had happened? Had Anakin developed a crush on him, as it had happened sometimes between Master and Padawan? Had the problem just been, that it had never been revealed? Never addressed? And when had Obi-Wan started to feel this inappropriate towards his Padawan? Had he just nourished Anakin’s crush and stopped him that way from getting over it? Was he really such a depraved, despicable, detestable human being?

But Anakin did get over it at some point, didn’t he? He had fallen for Padmé. Fast. By the time he had been nineteen this crush had to be gone then. But… that didn’t add up with what Ahsoka had told him about riling Anakin up every time he had stepped into the same room. And it didn’t add up with what Padmé had told him about wives who would be jealous about Anakin’s feelings towards him. Those feelings had never stopped.

“Padmé knew about this.” He almost whispered as realization hit him. The woman had constantly tried to mediate between them. Almost desperate sometimes. Forcing them together at different occasions at her appartement on Coruscant or at those fancy parties that Obi-Wan didn’t always had the heart to refuse to attend, when she had asked him to with that honest smile on her lips and the silent plea in her warm, brown eyes.

Anakin leaned away again. His gaze glued to Obi-Wans lips for a moment, before returning to his eyes. “I told her. About my crush when I had been a Padawan. That it never went away. Quite early into our relationship. She just smiled at me and told me that she had seen how I looked at you and that she was grateful that I had decided to share this with her.” And then he leaned in again. Slowly. Giving Obi-Wan again time to turn his head away. But was it necessary to turn away? To stop this? Anakin hadn’t been his pupil for years now. And even though the Jedi had no idea when his emotions for him had changed from the love for an adorable kid to a love that had made him want to die alongside him to stay together forever, would it still be despicable as long as it had happened when Anakin had already been an adult?

“Not as long as you plan to rule an empire.” He said then and placed a hand onto Anakin’s chest, keeping him at distance. “I won’t even… consider… this.” Because it was right that he would have rather fallen with Anakin instead of what had been the outcome in the end. It was an egotistical thought. But it didn’t mean he would choose the Dark Side just like that now. The stakes were completely different here. Falling now would be completely different. And Obi-Wan already made the experience that those weird feelings definitely didn’t extend to Vader. He despised that brutal kiss he had forced upon him. The almost calm facial features of his former Padawan contorted in anger. The grip on Obi-Wans hip intensified so much it was painful.

“You would rule at my side!” Anakin exclaimed agitated, watching him as if he didn’t understand how someone would refuse this much power.

“I don’t want to rule anything.” Obi-Wans voice was quiet but determined. “I won’t leave you either way. But if you decide to kill Palpatine and instead of returning the power to the Senate, to claim it for yourself, I won’t be at your side. You will rule alone. And I will stay your old Master. And only that.”

Anakin stared at him, contemplating and clearly just right before throwing another temper tantrum. But this was not negotiable. Obi-Wan would not support this in any way. If Anakin decided to take the empire, he would have to give Obi-Wan up. Of course, the Jedi knew he would be in grave danger, if he actually stayed with him then. For now, Anakin didn’t want to force himself upon him. He still cared. But with time, this resolve may change, if he descended further into Darkness. He would stop to care about what Obi-Wan wanted and just take what he craved.

“Or I could just make you my whore.” Vader seethed. His hand curled into the Jedis hair, tearing at it, making him wince in pain and stopping him from turning his head away, before he crushed his lips against Obi-Wans. Violent and aggressive and not tender as before at all. This was not sweet. This felt horrible and disgusting. This was Vader. And Obi-Wan tried to push him away at first, these kisses were revolting! But at the same time, he remembered his consent. His hands fell back to his sides, clenching into fists and he concentrated on keeping the dread at bay that was about to take over his mind, while letting the other man do whatever he wanted to him. He would calm down, and would feel worse for what he had done, if Obi-Wan actually had tried to fend him off. Maybe even got hurt. Soon the Jedi felt pain shooting through his lower lip again and tasted blood only a moment later. Tears welled up in his eyes.

He felt a pang at their door. And the Jedi almost thought to have imagined it. But then there was another push against it. Obi-Wan opened and felt all that lust and hunger and craving invading his mind. It made his skin crawl, made him sick to the stomach. Made him start to panic, realizing on a so much deeper level that this man was not Anakin right now. Already deciding to kick Vader out again, the grip at his hair and hip loosened.

As if struck by a punch, Vader jerked back. Heavily breathing he looked at Obi-Wan before averting his gaze again and stepping backwards.

“You need to leave.” Anakin exclaimed shutting his own door back up so the malevolent emotions in Obi-Wans mind disappeared. “You are not save with me.”

“I am done running away from you.” Obi-Wan answered. His lip hurt when he talked. Carefully he wiped his chin. His hand came away bloody. He probably had just smeared it everywhere. Anakin’s face contorted painfully when he watched him.

“We all need to leave this planet.” Another voice disrupted them and Obi-Wan jumped. Bewildered he turned his head and saw Ahsoka with a confused and worried expression on her face looking from him to Anakin and back again. “I’m sorry, but our bond was not completely shut and this close to you I felt the panic… so I came looking if Anakin needed to be kicked in the face.” She shot Anakin a challenging gaze and crossed her arms in front of her chest, while cracking an eyebrow. He just recoiled further. “This planet is driving both of you insane.” She continued. “I am the only one here thinking straight and considering I am the one under heavy pain medication this means both of you are acting completely stupid.”

“I have ordered a ship for you. It will be here soon. You can keep it. I will disable any tracking device and delete its existence within our logs.” Anakin said, then stepped again backwards, avoiding to look at any of them.

“We are not going anywhere without you, Master.” The young woman shot back determined, almost angry even before Obi-Wan got to contradict. Anakin flinched again when she used his old title, looking up with an incredulous look on his face. “You really think this would help in any way?” She pressed on. “None of you both can heal without the other. I tried to fix him…” She nodded in Obi-Wans direction. “… but he was just a shadow of himself all the time. Now I understand why. And you were just miserable all the time too.” She took a step forward. “Anakin, please. Don’t make the same mistake again.” She pleaded.

Her words did obviously stir something up in Anakin. It was plainly visible how his brain was working and different emotions were going over his face as he never had been the subtle type. With nothing. To a point when Obi-Wan had actually had the suspicion that his Padawan was displaying all his emotions so blatantly on purpose. Just to annoy the Council. And him. How the Force had he been able to hide his crush on him? Or did Obi-Wan just never want to see it?

Then Anakin turned to Obi-Wan. “So… if I leave with you… you will… consider us?” He inquired almost timidly and it took him obviously much effort to raise his gaze up again and look him in the eyes. He bit down on his lip and his right hand was fumbling with the fabric of his tunic. Ahsoka turned to the Jedi as well. Watching him intently. Almost warningly. And Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure what she wanted. He wasn’t even sure what he himself wanted. There was definitely no doubt that he wanted Anakin with him. Forever. And he didn’t want to lie to him.

“I can’t promise anything.” Obi-Wan would have to try to figure his own feelings out. He had felt disgusted by the idea of him and Anakin initially, but it had soothed after he had realized that he hadn’t lusted after a defenseless child. However, he wasn’t sure, where this would lead him. “I don’t know, if I can overlook the fact that you were my Padawan.”

“But you will try?” Anakin pushed and the hope in his voice almost crushed Obi-Wans heart. He was ready to give him anything! Anything he wanted that was Obi-Wans to give. But he knew that Anakin didn’t want him to just play a relationship. He wanted him to want it, too. And the Jedi was not sure how much his brain would ever shut up about the fact, that he had been his guardian since Anakin had been nine. It felt far too much like abuse, when he thought about it.

“It will be a slow process that might never reach where you want it to end up.” Obi-Wan explained cautiously. “But you can have me whenever you lose your patience. I did already consent.”

Anakin’s face contorted in disgust to that last remark. And to someone with a background with slavery it actually sounded probably even more gross than to Obi-Wan. So of course, he definitely didn’t want just the physical aspect. In that case he would not be so focused on his old Master.

“Ewh.” Ahsoka made, pulling a face that resembled that of Anakin.

Both men just looked at each other. Obi-Wan saw how Vader tried to get the control back. Tried to rile Anakin up about this preposterous proposition. Silence spread out, while Obi-Wan hoped so much that Anakin would just go with it. His offer was not much he could go by and Obi-Wan would have had answered instantly with a yes to his question if he had thought he would be able to fool him for as long as this infatuation with him would last. And Obi-Wan wasn’t even sure about those emotions Anakin felt for him. His former Padawan was in a bad place. He was confused and irritated and overwhelmed and hurting. This whole longing and craving could just vanish after some time, when he would heal.

But with that link between them and no believable excuse to hide his feelings form him on that level, Anakin would see through his lies very fast if he attempted to fool him for as long as it would take to get over him. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan preferred honesty anyway. Even more with those he cared so deeply about. Although he was ready to sell his soul and body if that would get Anakin to leave the Emperor.

“Don’t ever close that link completely.” Anakin said before stepping back up to him. “And stop considering something like that as acceptable. It’s not. It´s revolting.” He took his hands once more, lifting his left up and placing a kiss on his fingers. “I love you, Obi-Wan.”

The Jedi felt the blush creeping up his neck. He coughed slightly and lowered his gaze. He would have returned those words, but the meaning would be a different. A second later he felt lips on his ear, placing a gentle kiss on it. And it felt nice. “I’m going with you. Wherever you are willing to take me.” Anakin whispered.

And suddenly Obi-Wan felt light and relieved and something in his chest was vibrating pleasantly. Following his first impulse, he raised his arms and wrapped them around Anakin, pulling him closer, while pressing his own face against the side of his neck. A smile forced itself onto his lips. Anakin tensed up for a few seconds, but then he returned the hug, burring his own face in Obi-Wans hair, nuzzling his nose into the strands right behind his ear.

“Then we will have to pack.” Ahsoka reminded Obi-Wan that taking Darth Vader off the chess board was not an easy feat. This would have massive consequences. But when both men turned to her a broad smile was plastered on her lips as well and she almost jumped them, outstretched arms and tears in her eyes, pulling both of them into a hug, radiating happiness all over the place. “But we will figure everything out on the go. The faster we´re off this hellish rock, the better. For both of you.”

“I can provide the rebellion with valuable information.” Anakin said, a grave look on his face. “But I don’t think I should confront Palpatine myself. It might pull me back in.”

“That is… sensible.” Ahsoka concluded astounded, eyeing him up and down as she released them from her bone wrenching embrace. There was more that she wanted to say, but then she pressed her lips together, the smile came back just a second later. They sat down in the dining room and talked about what they would do. Ahsoka insisted on delivering any information Anakin would give them to someone within the resistance on their way to a hideout. It made Anakin obviously nervous to come so close to the rebellion and Obi-Wan felt the distrust through their bond, his yellow eyes going sharp as he watched the young woman explaining that they needed as soon as possible to go through all that data, finding weak spots and planning a way to use the information. And Vader’s disappearance would not go unnoticed for long.

Obi-Wan took one of Anakin’s hands, rubbing his thumb along in a comforting manner over the back of his hand. This calmed him a little bit. It seemed that he wasn’t trusting Ahsoka all that much. Maybe expecting her to lure him into a trap and take him out. However, the trust he put in Obi-Wan apparently rooted him enough to go along with her plans and keep the bubbling emotions at bay. It wasn’t really helping that the young woman avoided to say any names of persons, planets or routes and expected him to just sit down in the ship and wait until she told him he could get out again. But Obi-Wan understood that she was still reserved about it. He himself would not tell Anakin anything for some time to come, too. He would just have to trust them. They were disturbed by Toobee some time later.

“I am very sorry to intrude, Anakin, but Commander Cody has arrived with the ship. Should I proceed as planned?” It asked and everyone seemed to be startled by the name the droid had used for its master. Even Anakin himself, which meant Toobee had decided on his own to stop referring to him as Lord Vader. This surprise was immediately overthrown for Obi-Wan and Ahsoka as they heard the second name he mentioned.

“Cody!?” Ahsoka exclaimed, while Obi-Wan turned around again to stare at Anakin.

“Yes, do so Toobee.” He ordered and the droid retreated again. “I placed him as CO in the 501st the second I was given the opportunity. He is the only one left from our original troops.” His eyes lingered on Obi-Wan, before he exhaled and lowered his gaze. “Toobee will remove the chip in his head. I planned to send him along with you.”

Over the last years Obi-Wan did think about what might have happened to his 212th Legion. But he never thought he would see any of his men ever again. And if, they would probably put him in a position to kill them. To be honest, any Stormtrooper he had cut down could have had been one of his men. And none of them had been guilty for what they had been doing. None of them had deserved to be killed by him. Now he felt how delighted he actually was to get even one of them back. To see one of them regain his freedom.

“That’s brilliant!” Ahsoka rejoiced. “Rex will be thrilled!”

“Rex is alive!?” Anakin retorted almost equally excited. His whole Force signature shifted heavily towards the Light. It was so sudden that it felt like whiplash to Obi-Wan watching it. It lowered just as sudden again to where it came from.

“He is with the Resistance. As are Artoo and Treepio.” She grinned watching her former Master practically melting out of sheer happiness. Apparently, this whole signature changing thing didn’t affect her at all. Obi-Wan was about to need to hold on to the table to not fall over from dizziness. “I will request them to be there, when we deliver the information. They could come with us.” She proposed and looked to Obi-Wan.

“And what exactly will you tell Rex?” Obi-Wan intervened because someone needed to get both of them back down to reality. What they were planning to do, is to hide from the Empire as well as from the Resistance. No one could know about Anakin! No one! Artoo and Treepio might be okay with what had happened and just stay with them, wherever they ended up hiding. After all, the protocol droid got his mind wiped after he had been put into Bails care, but last time he saw Artoo, the little droid had known perfectly what had happened. It hadn’t connected the dots between Obi-Wans fight with him on Mustafar and Darth Vader’s appearance, but it still might. He was not sure how the Astromech would react to be honest.

But Rex? Did Ahsoka tell him who Vader was? If so, he would probably try to shoot Anakin in the face. Anakin Skywalker had been proclaimed dead. Somewhen in the year when Obi-Wan had been broken beyond recognition and starving himself to death. When Bail had taken him with him, Obi-Wan had picked that piece of information up at some point. He hadn’t said anything about it although he had known it wasn’t true. He had felt that rotten bond in his mind. Ahsoka must have had felt it too, though. Unless Vader had cut their bond. Because Anakin never had. But she apparently hadn’t corrected it either. Up to now people thought The Hero With No Fear had been killed at the end of the Clone Wars. He remembered vaguely Bail trying to talk to him about Anakin. But he had just avoided this topic. Left the room, or just stopped listening. Back then he had been bad company anyway. In the beginning Bail had tried to force him to listen and work through his obvious trauma and Obi-Wan had shut down so much on one of those occasions, that he had been unresponsive to his surroundings for two days. Or at least that’s what he had been told afterwards. The Senator never had mentioned Anakin again. But instead had brought little Leia for him to see. And that’s actually where Obi-Wans memory started to become solid again. He remembered that small ball of joy vividly and the big brown eyes that had looked at him curiously every time he had called her by her name.

“We could tell him, that Anakin had been held captive by Vader.” Ahsoka proposed.

“So, you want to lie to him?” Obi-Wan clarified.

“No. I was just applying your ´Point-of-view` tactic, Master.” She retorted obviously pleased with herself.

Obi-Wan sighed as a quiet laugh escaped Anakin’s lips. But he didn’t say anything. It was obvious, that he wanted to see Rex. But at the same time Obi-Wan felt how nervous he was about that, too. The pull of the Dark Side was different for Force users. People didn’t understand how things like that felt to them, how much of a temptation it was, how deep the influence ran. Nevertheless, no matter how much Obi-Wan saw his own guilt, how much it was his fault, that Anakin had fallen, Anakin would be the one punished about that. And maybe it would be justice. Would be, how it should be done. If it was anyone beside Anakin, Obi-Wan would probably even see to it.

But it was Anakin. His Anakin. And he would not allow anyone to touch him. Anakin needed to heal. He would not do so in a prison cell with one of those horrendous collars around his neck. Obi-Wan felt ashamed about these thoughts. How egotistical they were. How very much they showed how weak he was, when it came to his former Padawan.

At some point household droids brought lunch and Toobee arrived with a special food tray for Anakin. Water and mushed cardboard. It told them that his operation on Cody had went well, and that the Clone now rested in the medical bay of the ship they planned to escape in and would probably regain consciousness somewhen in the night to early morning. It sat down beside Anakin and talked over what data to salvage from the computers before they would leave.

Anakin ate some of his mush, then he stood up and rushed out of the room. But before Obi-Wan could rise and go after him, Toobee informed him, that he might not want to accompany him just to watch him throw up. After years of not using his digestive system, there was bound to be problems. His stomach would have to adapt. And it would not go smooth.

They waited for Anakin to come back, talking about what Toobee should pack into the ship and how much of it. Ahsoka had a very firm opinion of what they would need and generally wanted the droid to salvage this place. Anything they didn’t need; they could give to the resistance on their way. Toobee agreed happily, commenting on how pleasing it was to see his master in such a positive mood for a change, before it started to elaborate on how miserably he always had been. And that it would fill him with joy to tear this place apart.

When Anakin came back, they persuaded him to let Toobee infuse him with nutrition as the eating part obviously would take some time to be sufficient. The rest of the meal he sat grumbling beside Obi-Wan, skidding with his chair so close he was almost cuddling with him. It was absolutely endearing. And at the same time worrisome. Obi-Wan felt how fear took over Anakin’s whole mind and apparently Obi-Wans proximity held it enough at bay to stop him from exploding.

When the time came to leave this horrible place, Obi-Wan felt another strong wave of anxiety wash over Anakin and settling in. Keeping his former Padawan in a high alert state, making him jumpy and lashing out at everything that irritated him. When he had crushed two household droids into a pile of trash, and eyed Toobee very maliciously after it had commented about anger management, Obi-Wan had dragged him out of that scene.

Anakin didn’t leave Obi-Wans side again and initiated direct contact whenever possible. Brushing against his shoulder, putting his hand on the Jedis shoulder, standing so close their arms touched. At some point Ahsoka ordered both of them to just sit down somewhere in the ship and not get in her way. She had been very stressed out by then, as Anakin just stood in the way being no help at all by that point.

Obi-Wan did as she told and left the whole packing thing to her and Toobee, concentrating on stopping Anakin from freaking out. He pulled him into the common area on the ship, where there was a couch and pulled him down to sit at his side.

“It will be fine.” He tried to calm him down and opened the bond between them completely, sending comfort and assurance over it. They just needed to get off this hellhole. That was all.

“I trust you.” Anakin answered and leaned in, pushing his face into Obi-Wans shoulder, opening up to him as well. It was chaos in Anakin’s mind. All the fear, anger and hatred still running amok inside it. Confusing and riling him up. But he let Obi-Wan soothe him. And soon they sat on the couch, surrounded by crates and general chaos. Anakin had found his way into Obi-Wans lap, straddling him, their arms around each other, Anakin’s face pressed against the side of Obi-Wans.

“I love you, dear one.” Obi-Wan whispered against Anakin’s cheek. It struck him that he wasn’t even sure, in which way he meant this declaration of love. Maybe his mind was catching up with those confusing emotions he had discovered.

“We are ready to leave.” Ahsoka’s voice sounded over to him and she appeared a second later between two stacks of crates. Her lightsabers were hanging from the belt at her hips. Toobee must have given them back to her.

Anakin tensed up in his arms, and Obi-Wan resumed the calming stroking along his back. Ahsoka watched that with an expression on her face, like she wanted to just sit down on their side and entangle herself with them into a ball of affection towards her former master. But someone needed to keep a cool head here. And it would obviously not be either of her former Masters. So, she just put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently, before she let go again and left. A few minutes later the ship came to life, the light humming of the engines send vibrations through the ship. Anakin squeezed by then so hard, Obi-Wan had difficulties to breath. He kept whispering assurances into his ear. And when they finally left the oppressing atmosphere of the planet, Obi-Wan felt a dark grip on his mind loosening, like it was sucked back towards the burning surface where it belonged. Something clicked in his mind and the realization finally set in, that he had wriggled Anakin out of the emperors grasp. That it was actually Anakin, who was in his arms. After all those years. His Anakin.

A smile spread on his lips. Honest. Warm. And coming directly from his heart. He had almost forgotten how that felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, it´s quite open at the end. But that was the end I had in mind from the beginning. Escaping Mustafar. And its horrible influence.  
> Anyone interested in an epiloge? A friend of mine, who had read the first draft of this chapter, said she wants one. I am considering writing it.


End file.
